Colleague has said I'm vain a few times

[Spottttty]

Well not said it, but heavily implied it. I could understand if I'm going around saying 'Look at me I'm soo beautiful' but obviously this isn't the case.

She's said this because I sometimes put make up on or use a mirror at work at lunch. So what? Like it's not affecting her in any way.
She's made comments about 3 times, I've just laughed but next time I'll say something maybe?

It might just be friendly ribbing as she's nice otherwise but not sure what her goal is. She's someone who doesn't wear a scrap of make up and that's up to her, I'm not someone who can do that and that's just me.

I used to have it all at work if I touched up my make up “who d’you think you’re gonna meet?” This was from someone who never washed themself or their clothes. Piss off and sort yourself out

I'm going to have to report you to the church elders, that kind of reading matter is uncouth and unladylike.

My sides are hurting 😁

So on 3 separate occasions you have ' touched up your make up ' in the staff rest room - where people eat / relax / read magazines etc. and chat.
Whether that be reapplying mascara / touching up your lipstick / putting on more concealer.

Just go and do it in front of mirrors in the ladies toilets.

I don't know about you, but whenever a dilemma like this occurs in my life, I reach for the Barbara Cartland Book Of Etiquette. She is very clear on the subject.

I have already been exiled and have taken to the dark arts to communicate with Lord Lucifer, although so far, it's only Beelzebub who has the time.

Another vote for the "it's just something you do in private" side of the argument.

Brushing teeth or picking teeth
applying nail varnish
exfoliating dead skin
doing hair
Applying makeup - especially concealer or anything to do with spots
Dressing wounds
Putting antibiotic eye drops in your eye
Rinsing your sinuses with a nasal spray
Putting on deodorant
Taking off your shoes and kicking back
Wriggling out of your bra and removing it through your sleeve.

They're all things that you could comfortably do, sitting in the work canteen. But you just shouldn't!! They make everyone else part of your grooming of your own body, which we are not part of.

I'm interested that for some, the line of acceptability of personal grooming in public includes makeup. I wonder if it's part of the whole self care marketing thing, that it's an OK and even praiseworthy thing to take care of yourself in public. I think two things- first that taking care of yourself is something to do in private not while you are out facing the world. And second, makeup isn't really self care, it's body presentation along the same lines as shapewear underwear.

@Spottttty I wouldn't be offended by someone applying make-up in public, but as I was raised that preening in public wasn't "classy" and should ideally be done at home or in the toilets, I'd inwardly "ick". That it would be seen as a bit vain to check one's appearance, so personally I wouldn't use a mirror in a canteen/staff-room for anything other than trying to get something out of my eye.

Oh behave yer self you know im 'shaming' your head tilty PA post advising op to get therapy because she applies mascara in a canteen.

It’s make up not shaving her bikini line ! It’s fine to put some make up on in public

The late Queen used to reapply her make up in public I seem to recall…

I couldn't get upset about someone putting a bit of concealer on in a rec room. When people say 'personal grooming' I think of trimming your pubes not dabbing on a bit of concealer - but do leave your pubes alone in the rec room OP.

Some people on here are crazy! Touching your face is gross? It's bad manners to do your make up in front of people unless you are in a toilet (when it's then fine)? Blowing your nose should not be done in public?

Its rude to be undertaking personal grooming in public. If you dont want it to be commented on do it in the toilets like a persona with manners.

Good lord. Because people are different? And something that bothers one person might not bother the next?

Some people on this thread really struggling to understand that other people have different feelings and reactions to them.

As others have stated better, there are personal and professional boundaries. I don’t want to see my (male) manager smearing moisturiser all over his face in the break room (shudder). I don’t want to see my colleague cutting her fingernails in the break room. And I don’t want to see a colleague reapplying concealer to a spot. These are personal acts of grooming that usually take place in private, per the social norms in the UK.

I think most posters are thinking how absurd it would be for anyone to act like this at their job (me included). But I think from OPs reaction, she is probably a teenager and it’s a more “casual” type job, hence why she is so unbothered. But no, it wouldn’t be the done thing in a professional workplace.

Applying make up in public is traditionally a no-no. That used to include lipstick when it came in pots. When it started being sold in sticks flappers used to apply it in public for the shock value. It was considered outrageous.

Written when women still weren't allowed their own bank accounts or mortgages and were expected to be quiet little women, not conversing in intelligent conversation with the menfolk or going out alone at night, or god forbid, to a public house and have a pint of cider not a petite class of sherry. This absolutely should be the the rules we follow today, as many here will agree.

Can't speak for anyone else, maybe there are actual reasons but for me - I have no idea why it is considered by many to be inappropriate. But I do know that it is considered by many to be inappropriate.

I don't care but I understand that a lot of people do. It seems to be considered part of dressing as far as I can figure it out so gets grouped in the "not in public" box along with putting your bra on and brushing your teeth. I think. Although I'm not 100% sure.

I think that you can't possibly hope to make sense of all the social rules in life because sometimes I think there is no logical, scientific reason, it's emotional rather than logical so you just have to keep a mental list of the rules and rituals and dance the dance along with everyone else until enough people can't be arsed with a particular dance and it either stops or changes.

Tl:Dr - people are weird.

I wouldn't have said it's vain, but your replies have shown you to be quite a selfish and arrogant individual which is where the 'vain' thing might come.

People have offered you a bit of context and a different point of view, and you have just scoffed and used childish emojis.

Maybe a bit more consideration for other people is in order?

Doing your make up in public is chavvy.

Whooooooooosh! 😂

Does anyone else put makeup on in this 'rec room' ? Sounds like she's just trying to hint to you that it's not appropriate in a joky way. Maybe you've missed other colleagues' hints or they've spoken about it privately, like you seem to be totally resistant to any alternative viewpoints from anon posters here. It would be really weird and unprofessional in my workplace btw (some people wear MU but no one touches up in public).

I'll add those to the list, thank you 😁 I didn't realise the emojis had an age limit on them?

Lies. People with their hair up, curly hair, women with braids, wearing hats or whatever.

I agree that brushing hair is a step too far. But we're not talking about that. We're talking about make up. So your response means actually I'm only judging you on an expectation that may or may not be fulfilled?

I don’t see an issue with you touching up your make up. Applying nail varnish would be a no from me just because of the lingering smell but make up? Fine….

Maybe she sees this as harmless banter, but comments like that are sometimes used to undermine your confidence in a covert manipulative way. I’d do what PPs have suggested and make a jokey comment back which may stop her in future.

I think basic etiquette dictates that you don’t do it where people eat.