Social media sayings that can fuck off and die

[AngeloMysterioso]

I’ve reached the point of feeling a totally irrational surge of rage whenever I see them which is every damn day…

“I was today years old when”

“POV”

“That feeling when”

Anything that is referred to as a “hack”.

Calling an outfit a “fit”

Another thing that fucks me off and which I find bizarre is people sitting in their cars crying over their mental health.

I know this may be controversial but I have a severe anxiety disorder so I fully understand all about mental health. But to sit there , in your motor , taking a video of yourself to me is odd. And to then post it to Facebook or wherever..

Another one for me is on Facebook is people checking into A and E and also posting pics of drips/ cannulas or whatever is on their body.
Like WTF

Surely if you’re that poorly you aren’t doing shit like that. Baffling .

😁

Not quite the same but whenever I see coworker written all I can hear is Mooooooooo, surely it should be written co-worker.

All of them!

It's an incredibly bizarre way for people to live their lives.

I always liken it to sticking something in your window. Imagine 50 years ago someone writing inane shite like what they had for dinner or some naff slogan and putting it up in the front room windows. You'd have been carted off!

The word 'aesthetic' is so overused. Things are described as being 'so aesthetic', as are clothing styles/looks/outfits and people's houses. Oh, and 'core' being stuck on the end of every word when it comes to said clothes or interior design.

The million and one labels people stick on themselves. I don't need to know what you identify as, your (made up) sexual orientation or how many disorders/mental health issues you think you have. It doesn't make you interesting. (Also all the random flags people stick in their profile pics.) It's like a hobby to collect labels. 🙄 'Autigender' is the worst. 🙄

Also not social media, but when you want to buy something and there's a million descriptive words in the title, some very tenuously linked.

say it louder for the people at the back

I agree. The nurse during the Pandemic sat awkwardly with me.

What's 'haul' in this context? Visions of those strong men pulling massive trucks with a rope in their teeth that were on TV years ago!

say it with your whole chest

HoHoHoliday · Today 11:29

And not a saying, but I loathe the posing facial expressions and body poses that everyone seems to adopt in photos these days. It usually makes you look constipated.

Bum back, chest out and lips inflated to 45 psi, you mean?

JudgeJ · Today 11:41

Not quite the same but whenever I see coworker written all I can hear is Mooooooooo, surely it should be written co-worker.

Yes, that is a particular dislike of mine, too. I often ask,

"What's orking and why do cows need it doing to them?"

I've never once had an answer......

“This hits different” and videos where someone just reacts to another person’s content without saying anything.

I'm mostly on Twitter and the ones that particularly irk me on there are:

"I don't know who needs to hear this, but..."
Don't fucking say it, then

"OK, so we need to talk about..."
No we don't, you patronising tit

"You win the internet for today"
Glad you found it funny, mate, but just clicking Like would be enough

When it comes to Instagram and YouTube, I'm invariably irritated by:

People who aren't American saying 'thrifted' instead of 'second-hand' and 'drugstore brands' instead of 'high street' or 'pharmacy' brands
Fabrics or leather being described as 'buttery soft'
'Price point'
'Colour-way'
Expressing approval by saying 'I'm not mad about it'

Especially cats, documenting their captivity 😂

"I'm not gonna lie ... " Instant rage

The tapping long finger nails on a product makes me scream fuck off at the nearest inanimate object but worse for me is the infuriating laughter over long clips, I don't need to hear someone else laughing to figure out whether it's funny or not.

"This is your sign to..." buy our knickers / subscribe to my account / book a holiday through this affiliate link etc. is currently grinding my gears.

It's not a mystical sign, it's a bloody advert FGS

Anything with 'hashtag'

My 8 year old and her friends have started saying hashtag, with the 2 fingers crossed gesture a million time a day

'Mummy, that is just hashtag so silly'
'Mummy you must be hashing joking

And 'Slay' as in 'I am going to Slay that test/race etc'

Ewwww. And then they turn to the side and kick their foot out behind them to show off the shoes. It’s supposed to be cute. Yuck

Didn't Kevin Hart start that years ago in one of his stand ups and people just jumped on it?

Not a saying but the exaggerated hands fingers lips gestures/movements.

Yeeees queen! Slay queen!

"how it started" <video of young person being a beginner at a sport I teach>
"how it's going" <video of the same person 2 years later showing the level of improvement I would expect to see after 2 years>

yes. well done for achieving absolutely normal progress.💪

Again, it's a Black Southern saying in origin.

Makes total sense when said loudly in a treacly Tennesse accent.

"I'm going to go in with" when doing a makeup tutorial.
🤮
The worst of this is, I was doing someone's makeup at the weekend and I fucking said it!
I wanted to rip my tongue out.

I imagine male dogs being vaguely competitive with and derisory of human men. “ Oh here comes Iron Man off on his bike ride. Not the Lycra. Please not the Lycra.” “ Oh mate! Will you never learn? The answer is ALWAYS that her bum doesn’t look big.” Etc