Shorter maternity leave???

[Sausagedog101]

Has anyone here taken a shorter mat leave (less than a year)???

I am taking 8 months which is the right decision for us as a family (my MH is in tatters and work help keeps it at bay!) but I get a lot of surprised/shocked comments from people who say they can't believe I'm not taking the year, or people saying I'm not making the most of the 'full allowance'.

I would argue quality over quantity is more important but I am feeling abnormal for wanting/needing to work when everyone seems to love mat leave and never want to go back. I keep busy with my boys and always out and about but my mind craves stimulation or else I end up in a dark place.

Anyone else???

I took a year with my first (though it was more like 13 months as I was in hospital and DC1 was premature), but was getting a bit stir crazy approaching 11 months.
With my second, I started working again (self employed) around 4 months, but only part time - I was WFH and DC2 was being cared for by a nanny.

Thank you, yes - we are. I am taking 7 months ML (plus one month AL so 8 months 'off' in total). My partner is taking 2 months SPL (at full pay!!). He is fortunate to get 16 weeks at full pay - the initial plan was to utilise this in full so I took 5 months and he took 4, but the mum guilt/peoples comments got the better of me, which I realise in hindsight was silly.

I took 9 months with 1st, 8 months with second. I did bits of work from 6 weeks with both though.
Expecting another and will take 9 months maximum. It's only paid for 9 months, like you I need the mental stimulation and I've never really been able to afford to take the 3 months unpaid part!. I don't know anyone who's taken a year recently.

With all due respect, you haven't seen me parent, so how can you possibly comment?

I am always out and about with my boys, and when we are at home, singing and reading to them with lots of play.

IMO There is a huge difference doing this vs the mental stimulation and challenge of my job.

Agree. It’s not the same thing at all. I love spending time with my kids but I did start to miss my job after a time and I enjoyed going back.

I am also raising my own children and not passing the buck to anyone else. I want what is best for my children, and what is best for them is to have a mummy who is mentally well and who is the best parent I can be in the time I am with them.

who cares what others say? It’s whatever is right for you and your family

I did just over 8 months but added my annual leave at the end to bump it up to 10 months. It was fine :)

Are fathers not counted as raising children? DH had better paid parental leave than I did, we need 2 incomes as do many people.

Sorry @Mullercornerbliss that was directed @MiniBakers

And it might be that paid work keeps mummy mentally well and the children fed.
They are still raising their dc

I wouldn't have said 8 months was even particularly short.

I took 12 months with DS and only 9 months with DD. I found 12 months was just a bit too long and DS struggled to settle into nursery so decided to make it shorter with DD. I never regretted it, it worked well for me and I was definitely ready to return to work and she adjusted to nursery a lot easier than DS. That said she always hated nursery (and school, she’s just left school as she’s 16 now and that never changed, despite her predicted a string of top grades), whereas DS always loved it (once he got that first month of sobbing all the time done!).

I took 4 months, literally skipped out of the house the first day as DH took over as a SAHD! I don't regret it for a second, I found the baby stage incredibly difficult - the older the child the better teens are awesome...

13 months is the norm in my workplace but I’m public sector.

You can be a good parent and also like working you know?. The two aren’t mutually exclusive. I find time with my children stimulating but it’s different to my time at work. I don’t think I would want to be a SAHM (my husband therefore gets 2 days a week with the kids instead of me) - does that make me a bad mum? In fact from what I’ve seen, I think people who cultivate their lives outside of being a parent end up being more well-rounded parents as the kids get older.

Fathers get a free pass to have a career after having children. They are never told they aren’t raising their children.

Six months with first, four months with second. Most families can't afford to take the full 12 months but it's a good thing it is available for those who want to stay home. I couldn't wait to get back to work.

Going back to work helped cure my ppd the first time. So I'm "only" taking 6 months off this time and I'm counting down the days tbh (returning to work next week!) I work part time so he's only in nursery 2dpw initially.

As for the pp who was judgy... bore off. The vast majority of adults would not find a baby's company "stimulating", who are you kidding?! Delightful, endearing (at times), at other times frustrating and exhausting. Never intellectually stimulating, how can they be, they're babies. You can't discuss politics or science or literature with a baby.

I don’t think that’s short
i took six months with one of mine and I know people and colleagues that took 6 or 12 weeks and that was it

Yep I took 9 months for exactly the reasons you described, and also felt v abnormal for it. Would have preferred to go back on a very part time basis much earlier- I didn't like the feeling of having dropped out of the normal flow of life.

What helped me to remember is that a years mat leave is very much a cultural thing. It's much shorter elsewhere. So there's no 'right' amount of time.

I only took 7 months which was the 6 months full pay and then accrued holiday. DS was fine and I was pleased to go back to work.

No one said anything - was more usual then maybe. I remember a colleague saying she's only had 16 weeks as that's all that was paid and they couldn't afford to have her off work on no pay.

I had 8 months with my first. I had PND and quite frankly needed to do something "me" so when a new contract came up I didn't hesitate.

I took 8 months. I had planned to go back at 6 months due to money and being a solo parent however my parents decided to help out.

First time 8 weeks, second time 12 weeks

I earned 4 x DH and this was before shared parental leave came in (which I campaigned for!)