To be AMAZED at this cms calculation?

[whatnowws]

Recently split from DS’s dad. He won’t communicate or see ds, so after several weeks I contacted cms. They are getting in touch with him but… the claim is for 730 a month?!? He earns almost 80k? How can this be right?

meanwhile, I’m earning 46k and paying 1,700 in nursery costs and all other costs for ds?

how on earth is that supposed to be fair?! This calculation is also assuming he continues not to see ds. If he wants him a night or more then costs reduce further… basically he can do what he wants and I’m expected to pick up the financial pieces no matter what.

You don't get "free" childcare, that UC figure will include childcare entitlement. If OP says she's not entitled though she's presumably already tried it.

It's not relevant. PPs point is that any parent can choose to be a deadbeat. The gender split doesn't matter.

Yes but let's not pretend it's not a male issue. Because it is.

to win votes by punishing "absent fathers".

Tbh the state of CMS means the only people likely to vote seeing them as a positive are the shit loads of NRPs paying nothing because of their uselessness.

They certainly aren’t set up in a way to be a vote winner of RPs!

Just ran it through the calculator, must be as the CM is high (even though she thinks it isn’t).

OP keep in mind if you ever have health issues or your child does this can make a big difference.

Sorry if it’s looking like you’re getting the CM and sod all else.

If it were me I would see a solicitor and consider reducing my hours until free childcare provision kicks in.

CM doesn’t count toward UC so nothing to do with that.

But there's no reason to assign it to a specific sex. It's an issue. That's it. Either sex can choose to do it and the other partner is screwed. Either way it's not right.

It isn't right if a man does it and it's not right is a woman does it. What's the reason for bringing it up?

If women behaved like men, a lot of children would end up in care after a divorce.

Reducing hours can impact on career progression. So another sacrifice made by the remaining parent because one has decided to sod off.

Pretending that it’s not something done mostly by men just clouds the issue.

It is predominantly a male issue.

why pretend otherwise?

No one is pretending otherwise. But it doesn't matter.

Because it's mainly men that do it, so it is a male issue. The same way that sexual assault is a male issue because perps are usually men.

And female parents that leave their kids are judged far more harshly than male ones by society.

Wrong actually, she has stated she looked online and made a phone call.

OP I would advise actually filling in the application for your circumstances, it’s more detailed and can give a difference result to online calculators and phone advice.

It could be useful for you to have the letter saying you aren’t entitled anyway if you pursue knobhead legally.

It does matter.

Actually, sexual assaults that have been reported are much more likely to have male perpetrators. It's much more likely that if someone's been assaulted by a female it doesn't get reported. So those figures are very skewed and are totally irrelevant to this thread.

And in my circles, any parent that leaves a child is judged as harshly as the next. You're the one clouding the issue here by making it about sex.

Why? Why does it matter whether it's a man or a woman that leaves? Why does it matter which one is left holding the responsibility?

Is it worse if a woman leaves? Why?

It is about sex. And everyone here can see it aside from you.

Cm is irrelevant to UC.

What would you see a solicitor for ?

This constant need from some to pretend that shitty male behaviour - abandoning their children, being violent etc - doesn’t matter is so fucking tedious

It's not. It's about the system being wrong. And in digging into that, it doesn't matter whether it's more likely to be a man or a woman that leaves.

I don't disagree that it's predominantly men that leave their families. But in terms of how the system should be managed, it makes no difference which parent leaves.

It does matter. But it's not the issue here. It doesn't matter here. The issue here is that a parent can just bugger off and the other parent has to pick everything up.

If women abandoned their children at the rate men do you can bet the CMs system wouldn’t be as it is now

The very fact that the system is set up the way it is - changed from when RPs on benefits were only allowed to keep £20 a week and the rest was owed to the Secretary of State - is because of the number of non paying NRPs.

No government has ever changed it because it’s socially acceptable still for men to fuck off and not pay for their children.

It does matter here.

Because if women were the ones abandoning responsibility for their children in numbers you can bet your bottom dollar the system would be different.

The issue is that men can bugger off and abandon their their children and leave women, and often the taxpayer, to pick up the weight.

Speculation.

You could also say that if more women were in power, systems would be different. We don't know that. The type of person who wants to be in power enough to actually get there is the type who will screw most people over anyway.

How does £4114/month - £730 CM = £3884/month ?

I get
£3384

Anyway we have no idea why he has walked out other than what OP's has said. They will be another side to this story. We don't know what he paid towards the house that is in her name and he has walked from. We don't know any in's or out's at all.

We can only really argue about who should pay for childcare/nursery and in my opinion it should be universally free - like school. We should have a properly supported maternity period and then free nursery for parents who chose to return to work before school age. This is a key part of keeping children out of poverty and both parents in work - which as a civilised society should be a priority.

At the moment we are at risk of population collapse so we really do need babies - as a society we need to make having them not so hard! And it is HARD with all the costs of living, it's hard if not impossible for some. It costs about an additional £80k per bedroom where I live. That's the starting cost of just prividing a bedroom,before you start getting hammered with nursery fees. I understand why people don't even bother having any.