To be AMAZED at this cms calculation?

[whatnowws]

Recently split from DS’s dad. He won’t communicate or see ds, so after several weeks I contacted cms. They are getting in touch with him but… the claim is for 730 a month?!? He earns almost 80k? How can this be right?

meanwhile, I’m earning 46k and paying 1,700 in nursery costs and all other costs for ds?

how on earth is that supposed to be fair?! This calculation is also assuming he continues not to see ds. If he wants him a night or more then costs reduce further… basically he can do what he wants and I’m expected to pick up the financial pieces no matter what.

But why should she drop her hours when he gets to work however much he wants? Can you see how unfair it it?

You can earn more than that. There is no set income limit on UC. Depending on many factors including number of children, if you rent, health conditions, childcare etc, you could earn much more than 50k and still get a UC payment.

It matters not that this is a lot of money for most people. What matters is that he's paying hardly any of his income to take care of his child.
No, it's not fair at all.

My gast is blabbered by the responses on here

Namely:

Yet another reason many women could do with thinking a little longer and harder if having a child is something they really want to do

^

What about the dad??!?! He's 50% responsible?

Drop your hours for a couple of years and you’ll have more time for your child.

^

Yeah, great idea. Less pension, less seniority at work. Fucking marvellous.

Whereas Wonderdad has renounced all responsibility, and is working as he pleases.

@TVD2103 in that case, so he doesn’t have to contribute to nursery costs, Op should stop working, and he should pay her mortgage, bills, pension, and everything else her wages cover, yes? So, say £3k a month should cover it? I mean, I’d have thought he’d be better off just paying half the costs of raising HIS CHILD

Obviously it's meant to say gast is flabbered, not blabbered

Why women stick up for these fking men is beyond me.

ignore this OP, clearly a disgruntled troll

Written in the style and inaccuracy of the Daily Mail’s finest.

Also it’s ridiculous, of course he should be paying more - a percentage of his income - if he was a decent person.

Sorry OP, not sure what to advise.

I couldnt understand that comment either, like going to work is a hobby you do, honestly that made my bloody boil.

That does sound a bit shit to be honest, you're still left with nearly £1000 to pay just for nursery, that doesn't include anything else, when you've gone from having two wages coming in to one, that is a relatively small amount.

I don't know how it works, but could you speak with a solicitor (if you already have one to handle your divorce) about a financial settlement, for nursery fees/childcare/extra curricular activities etc? He should be paying half the costs, he's half his child!!

Again, calm your jealousy down and have a little think.

This mother may have to stop work as she is saddled with all the nursery costs whilst the dad works as much as he wants.

Try and pretend you aren’t sexist for a second and see if you think this is fair?

Your overuse of capitals and all this ‘mega mega’ stuff makes you sound quite immature btw.

Yet another reason many women could do with thinking a little longer and harder if having a child is something they really want to do

This is not a woman issue.

I completely agree with you, that is absolutely ridiculous. It’s a broken system and it annoys me that people justify it by saying that other people contribute less. You and your son deserve better.

That's quite an assumption, isn't it? What makes you say that?

Are women all brainwashed these days?

Not all, but some seem to be, yes.

Unfortunately, the system is very unfair. And some men are beyond appalling.

This is the cost of being resident parent. You want to swap it give him custody.

Ignoring your lack of financial support for your ex.

have you claimed for the new Government free hours for childcare? That should help reduce the 1700 a month??

Do keep in mind that the Tories reduced the level of child maintenance. It's pitiful and there are so many ways not to pay, plus CMS are useless at enforcing it. I'm sorry, OP, that you had to read so many shitty and inappropriate comments. My ex told the children he couldn't afford to eat because of the child maintenance I was making him pay. I had to show them his income on the CMS paperwork to stop them feeling sorry for him. He lied about everything and hid all of his income so he ended up paying less than £100 per month. Women should be standing up for each other in the face of this state sanctioned financial abuse, not piling on in support of the abusers.

Some women get nothing.

the system isn’t fair at all. But you’ve got a ton of a lot more than most.

There are some ridiculous comments on here . He is paying for you to work ???

reduce your hours so you can get benefits ?

and the best give him custody ???? He doesn’t even want to see the child .. who the hell wants to hand there 11 month old to someone who doesn’t want them

From Sept 2024, 15 free hours for 9 months old plus.
from 25, 30 hours free.

if aged 3-4 now then 30 hours.

It’s so depressing that so many women here are raising the next generation and passing on their sexist views. I just hope their kids have other good role models.

@Heyheyitsanotherday thanks for sharing my frustration and horror. Women really need to stand up for one another and I can only assume many people on this thread are either men or in dire need of an education!