To be AMAZED at this cms calculation?

[whatnowws]

Recently split from DS’s dad. He won’t communicate or see ds, so after several weeks I contacted cms. They are getting in touch with him but… the claim is for 730 a month?!? He earns almost 80k? How can this be right?

meanwhile, I’m earning 46k and paying 1,700 in nursery costs and all other costs for ds?

how on earth is that supposed to be fair?! This calculation is also assuming he continues not to see ds. If he wants him a night or more then costs reduce further… basically he can do what he wants and I’m expected to pick up the financial pieces no matter what.

I enjoy the idea OP needs to ‘cut her cloth’ by errr… working less?

I had no idea working was a luxury.

Fucking hell, are you joking?

And what are the father's childcare costs for someone to take care of his child while he chooses to work?

Or is it nothing?

Because that's women's work and he shouldn't even have to consider it? Because it's not his responsibility in general? Or because he decided one day to abandon his child? Should the mother do the same? Then it won't be her responsibility either, right?

The misogyny (presumably interalised) on this thread is something else.

Some people on that income can claim UC, depending on things like rent and childcare costs. It's not unreasonable to ask if OP is claiming what she can. Although she has said she is not entitled anyway.

It's not a lot relative to his income. Taking into account paying a decent amount into pension and other benefits that may be deducted from PAYE his monthly take home will be at least £4k (probably a bit more)

People are clueless about the impact of tax.

They think someone on £46k must be getting double the income of someone on £23k.

They do not realise that once tax, student loan etc is accounted for, plus the loss of benefits… and as a single earner household… it’s going to be difficult.

£1700 childcare is almost 60% of OP’s take home pay. That’s before she’s splashed out on any luxuries like rent.

It is an absolute disgrace that this is permissible, and women everywhere should be writing to their MPs and demanding to know how they justify it.

All I mean was, if you were having a financial settlement of any kind then you could have negotiated this as part.

I feel you’re being gaslit on this thread. This is clearly a reprehensible state of affairs. I’m shocked he isn’t being made to pay half the nursery costs.

Is this one of those threads that has been invaded by men’s rights activists? That’s a serious question as I don’t understand how normal people would respond to you in this way.

I don't count £44k as a high income. I would say £80k is quite high though.

@MrsSunshine2b the problem is that it is NOT worked out in the basis of half the costs averaged out over anything at all - it’s worked out as approx 10% of gross income as far as I understand it. And that calculation is completely unrelated to the costs of raising a child and there are lots of ways around even paying that.

I’ve no idea how it could/should be worked out as it is obviously a complex issue, but it is astonishing how many men (and women who get into relationships with men who already have children) think that CMS should be optional or even that it provides adequately, and that men who pay over this are heroes of some kind. It’s shocking.

The message from the state is that a child should cost you 10% of your income and I think most parents would agree that is far from the reality. The message does need to change.

When calculating child maintenance your salary and your childcare fees are irrelevant.
The only figures used are

1. the fathers salary after pension contributions but before tax and NI
2. the number of overnight stays per year your child is at his house

that’s it I’m afraid, by law he doesn’t have to give you any more than thier calculations and there are plenty of mums and children practically living in poverty whilst the ex swans about in luxury!

I can’t believe that people will say you are unreasonable on the basis of other women getting far less. It shouldn’t be a race to the bottom ffs. The cms system is skewed towards the parent who fucks off and leaves the family unit. It should be based on income as well as reasonable costs incurred to bring up the children. Nursery fees should be taken into account if both parents work full time. Why should the OP have to go part time in her job to cut down on the nursery fees? Just because it is the way the system is, it doesn’t mean it is right.

I got £25 a week for son.. Ex husband was {is} self employed, so claimed poverty.

You are doing very well compared to many women whose husbands bugger off.

Count your blessings!

It’s totally unfair. How much of his pension are you getting? Can you console yourself that you’ll be getting that down the line?

It's 12% of your PRE-TAX income, so more like 15-20% of your take home pay. Sorry but if on a month to month basis your child costs you £1460 (£730 x 2) then you need to be reassessing your budget. I don't spend anything like £730 per month on my daughter.

Oh stop with the competitive race to the bottom. So your ex is useless, doesn't mean that OP should be slavishly grateful that hers is marginally less useless.

Omg how are any women defending that man? Or saying she's lucky etc. My ex has never paid anything but sees his son and I don't think she's lucky at all. It's a piss take.

44k a year isn't a HUGE salary in the south east etc when rent and mortgages can be 2k plus then 1700 nurses fees, 200 Council tax etc.

Why should OP give up her career, pension etc because yet another pathetic man cba with his own child.

It is a joke. CMS seems to have been designed to ensure men still have a nice comfortable life, even if the woman and child are not.

And that’s even before we get out to his easy it is for so many men to reduce or even get out of payments altogether.

It's averaged out over the 18 years you'll both be responsible for your DS. There's no public will to pay more taxes to fund huge amounts of admin to sort out varying payments according to nursery fees etc. So yes, you're stuffed for the few nursery years but will be more than fine once DS goes into school.

The tone of some of these posts like yours is awful. Somehow rude, angry and blaming of the OP who has done nothing wrong. Her partner walked away and left her trying to juggle work and childcare costs.

Maybe she will have to reduce her hours and yet another woman left behind in the workplace and contributing to the gender pay gap. It’s so damn unfair.

Her and his salaries are irrelevant. The principle is that men get away with it and the women suffer. Ugh.

Some people see salaries over £20k and their jealousy blinds them to reason.

Why should he pay for you to basically go to work? Because that’s what nursery costs are.

How is Op supposed to house, feed, clothe herself & her son if she doesn't work?

It’s not gaslighting, it’s giving facts. Nursery costs are not factored into CMS calculations. By all means, write to your MP, campaign if you think this is wrong, but there’s no point being shocked he isn’t being made to pay half of nursery costs, when there is literally no mechanism to enforce this.

People have no idea what CMS covers until they’re in the situation and it’s too late.

So what? The unfairness of it all remains the same.

And you are looking jealous 🤷🏼‍♀️

Why are you getting angry and taking swipes at posters on here?

They have no influence or control over CM rates!

You could contact your local MP or look into any current consultations that are in place re CM and contribute to those?

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