To make a complaint about hospital experience with DD?

[Ginspirational]

2 year old DD was admitted to hospital Friday. We arrived in A&E at 12, and were finally put into a bed around 6pm. No offers of drinks/food etc came at any point during the afternoon or evening, so DH went and bought some bits from the shop. I could kind of less this pass as we came at a bit of a funny time, and we were given toast in the morning.

However.. I stayed the night with DD who woke in the middle of the night really confused and upset, so I took her out of the bay into the play room area, separate from the beds to try and calm her down - she was really going loopy at this point. A student nurse asked if I would take her and stand on the balcony outside because I was waking other patients, she didn’t even let me get my shoes on and DD was just in a baby grow.. I walked out and then straight back in because it was too cold to take her out there. They then tried to take her off me to calm her down; which absolutely wouldn’t have worked.. but nobody was listening.

AIBU to make a complaint or should I just move on and be grateful? I know NHS are over worked / under staffed but I felt like such a hindrance.

No I don't think you should complain. Its not a hotel so they don't tend to provide meals unless you are admitted but usually if you ask they can usually rustle up a bit of toast, biscuit or water. There is usually vending machines and a shop at the hospital. I get them not necessarily wanting ro wake up the whole ward who are then going to think its playtime. I hope your little one is OK

YABU about the food. No one gets food provided whilst they're waiting in A&E, that's why there are vending machines/shops available (that your husband used).

It sounds like they were understaffed over night maybe. But when you took your child out of their bay, though, and started wandering the corridors, waking up more and more people, what was your plan? It seems kind of sensible to suggest you could step outside, although it would not have been ideal to schlep all the way back down the corridor, disturbing everyone again, in order to collect coats.

Children do cry in hospital, though. It sounds like the student nurse was very inexperienced. FWIW when mine was in hospital aged 18 months, I had to climb into the cot with her and watch hours of peppa!

I hope your daughter is feeling better today. If you're staying another night, I would ask the nurses in advance what you should do if she becomes very upset again. If you're home, then I would just move on.

What exactly would you be complaining about?

Was the standard of medical care good? That would be my main priority, and if any issues with this, then yes I wuod complain. But no I wouldn't complain about food. Not sure what she came in with, they may have wanted her nil by mouth in case needed surgery?

Tbh I’m not sure the issue- you weren’t given food? Seriously who do you think will take your order given there aren’t enough staff to deal with medical issues.
yes you were disturbing other people, the suggestion to go outside was stupid granted but maybe meant well.

What would you be complaining about exactly? If admitted at 6pm, you just missed tea.

Why didn't you settle your child rather then let them play? Normally ill children aren't bothered by food & playing

I think YABU. Not just to consider complaining but in your expectation to be fed and to be waking up others in the ward.

I’m sorry about your DD - hope she’s ok.
Your post is hugely off. There are other people to consider of course you were asked to go outside. As for the comment about food: It’s not actually a hotel. I think it would be awful and unreasonable to complain.

Sorry the food issue was a lesser point and was more about my DD not being offered any food after we had been told we were being admitted (around 4pm) and actually getting a bed at 6, and still nothing until the next day - but like I said that’s not really a huge issue.

They also needed to get a cannula into her and couldn’t do it, and after 3 tries in different areas called for a doctor, which I don’t know is normal or usual, but was awful. Honestly I think I’m a bit traumatised after it all, emotional and knackered. Maybe I’m being unreasonable, I just felt like sobbing in that moment, my DD was going nuts, I couldn’t soothe her, and it felt like I was being shifted outside out the way.

@RubySloth I wasn’t letting her play, I was trying my best to soothe her. I was fully aware of her disturbing everyone and was trying my best

I think hospitals are hard work with ill children but I don't think there was anything to complain about. I hope you get some sleep and your little one is on the mend.

Maybe she was dehydrated hence struggling with a cannula.

The cannula is tricky when they are so small - hope she’s ok now

none of this sounds complaint worthy to me

so if your DD had slept soundly until woken by the rest of the children on the ward being noisy with no attempt to quieten them, that would have been fine?

We are still in, I’ve asked to be given a regular hospital bed so I can try and co sleep with her rather than settle her in a cot, hopefully that works.

Did you ask for any food?

It seems with timings you fell between the cracks. And she may not have been able to have any until seen as often nil by mouth is advised until they've seen a doctor?

They also needed to get a cannula into her and couldn’t do it, and after 3 tries in different areas called for a doctor, which I don’t know is normal or usual, but was awful.

It's distressing obviously but some people's veins are more difficult than others. It takes as many times as it takes.
A friend who's a paediatric nurse told me that numerous times, when they were trying their best to get a cannula in, they would have the parent asking "How many times will it take?".
Obviously, they were always kind and reassuring but occasionally they felt tempted to say "Well, I could it in 2 but I thought I'd take 4 because I'm a sadist".

That is completely normal. The human body is not designed to be cannulated. it is often very tricky. it is standard for a nurse to limit their number of tries to 3 before calling for someone else.

I'm afraid I don't think there's anything here to complain about.

This you can insist on - I have in the past and it helped dramatically

Thanks everyone for rationalising my over tired brain. We have been treated well, just nerves ahead of tonight I think

Yes. Please don't complain.
You're overtired and worried.
Hope you both have a better night tonight.

Hope you have a better night OP

As a PP said, sounds like you just fell between the cracks with the meals.
I have seen sandwiches handed round in A&E before, but at quite a random time, and not in every A&E: it's not a given.
Hopefully she'll sleep better tonight as it's more familiar.
Poor thing - hope she is well again soon.

Wishing you all the best. I have been there. I wanted to complain in hospital with DD because I felt a doctor had been rude to me - implying I was downplaying my daughters illness. He wasn’t, as my mum gently pointed out. I was just utterly ragged. Sympathies to you.

I too don't understand the actual complaint you'd make?

• Were you wanting food you your or DD? Did you actually ask anyone? There is often a parents room with a fridge/microwave/kettle so you can leave some food in there for yourself in future.
• The student was just making a suggestion to go onto the balcony. They weren't saying- go outside right now with no shoes or warm clothes on! Surely you could have said- would you mind getting us a blanket, collecting my shoes or holding DD whilst I get them myself?
• Cannulation in toddlers at the best of times is tricky with tiny veins, let alone when they unwell. If she was dehydrated, had a fever etc this would be even more difficult. Not unusual to get another clinician to help if first attempts failed.
• Get DH to take over for an hour so you can go outside in the sun, go home for a shower, get supplies and just have a breather for a while.