Looking after neighbours cat

[Cherryblossom200]

Hi all,

My neighbours are retired and have a cat which they asked if I would feed when they go away. It works for me as I also have a couple of cats which they feed when I'm away.

When my neighbour first approached me I didn't realise quite what I signed myself up for though. I thought it was just the odd holiday here and there, but they go away a lot!

I'm a solo parent of a young child, I work full time from home and generally very busy. It's just another thing I have to remember to do 😛

I agreed around Christmas time to look after their cat for a week, and my daughter came down with a horrendous sick bug the night before I was due to look after the cat. When my neighbour arrived with the key, I explained the situation and asked if she would see if another neighbour could look after their cat as I couldn't leave my daughter alone.

Plus I was concerned I would get the bug. She was throwing up every 5 minutes it was gross! My neighbour seemed annoyed that I couldn't look after their cat and asked if I could speak to my neighbours to ask if they would feed their cat for them. I said I couldnt leave my daughter alone. Honestly by that stage it started really annoying me.

There are lots of families around me, all with a mum and dad. Out of everyone in my street I'm the one who is most stretched with life. None of the mums work, just me.

I've been tasked with feeding the cat for a week now. But last week my elderly dad with Alzheimer's was admitted into hospital with a really bad chest infections. At times it was touch and go with him. I was busy looking after my mum and visiting him in hospital, plus looking after my daughter and working full time! I explained to the cat people that I would fed their cat but they need a back up neighbour just in case anything happened to my dad.

They are retired and have a holiday home, they go away a fair bit and I'm struggling with the commitment of feeding their cat so regularly. But I don't know how to say it without being rude. I don't mind doing it occasionally but not to this extent.

Any idea how not to say something without being rude?

The cat will be doing its business on the carpet because they need a clean litter tray…that’s part of looking after a cat, it shouldn’t need spelling out.

I don't understand why they don't distribute it around other neighbours instead of coming to me all the time. They can see how busy I am. I literally have no time to myself.

It's because you are both kind and a soft touch.

You have a lot of things in your life demanding your time and energy and need to take them and their cat of the equation. It also means you'll need to make alternative plans for your own cat if you are going to be away for any length of time (eg automatic feeders, booking a cattery, etc).

These people have your measure and won't be happy you are no longer falling in line regarding their plans - you need to be clear with them once and for all, however unhappy they are with your decision. 🌹

Feeding a cat takes 5-10 mins at most. You shouldn't have agreed first place. Just say no and move on.

LondonRach, most normal neighbours would ask for help for the odd occasion. That's what I expected. My neighbours are a bit strange and selfish (odd as they are real churchy people) and expect me to just be at their beck and call.

My cats are both old, one is 18 and one 14. They have a lovely, spoilt life! But they are normal outdoor cats which I love. They are very much a part of my little family. Despite them being outdoor cats, I still wouldn't leave them for long periods of time alone. I care for them too much. If I've gone away I winter I leave the heating on a timer so they don't get cold. My neighbours on the other hand just leave their cat in a cold house without any heating. It's unreal.

After your August holiday, you should address the situation with them. Just say "when I agreed to feed the cat I didn't realize how frequently you needed me. Its getting to be a bit much as a single parent. I'd be happy to do it once or twice a year. But only for max 1 week per time."

That way you're not saying no and this aligns with the amount of time you will be asking them to feed your cat. So then its a fair exchange. They can then either ask other neighbors to feed the cat the other times, put the cat in the cattery or pay a pet sitter.

Also, please raise the litter tray issue with them. Its not right to leave the tray that long without changing the litter. Especially if its an indoor cat and that's its only bathroom. Poor thing.