I’m aware this is privileged and pathetic but…

[Littleacornnut]

How do you shake that ennui/ Boredom/ depression after coming back from a really expensive holiday? (For me that is, it’s all relative i suppose)

honeslty since coming back to the drudgery of everyday I’ve felt really low. Normally I get a bit of post holiday blues I book somewhere else but now I can’t afford to.

I’ve been back a month and still feel pretty low.

yanbu this normal and everyone feels like this after a big hols. It takes a while to shift

yabu- bit of post hol blues is normal but not for this long. Take a wider look at your life

So do I!

it’s really a post kids thing, but it’s been subtle over time.

i think it’s a breakdown in communication, I’d like to try couples counselling I think

Hmmn.

The plus side is you travel with people you really love. Or you'd hate travelling with them.

What I don't get is why would you be depressed now?

We're almost at maximum sunlight for SAD?

So what is the really expensive holiday not compensating for?

What is missing in the only life you'll ever live?

Do you have options for another career? Do you need to write out a bucket list?

I'd spend less on holidays in future and start to focus on making your day to day life better

Pay for a cleaner /home help , who does laundry etc for starters. Takes away a lot of the drudgery and relationship bickering.

Make sure you are doing little nice things regularly

Really look into how you can make sure your life between holidays isn't miserable. That's no way to live.

We have less glamorous holidays but still love them, and make sure we do lots of day trips /weekends away throughout the year. We also prioritise work-life balance and job satisfaction over salary when choosing our next career steps

Sounds like you maybe suffering ftom depression, you need to speak to your Gp. It's normal to feel sad after a holiday but not for this long, and you shouldn't be so prone to weepiness either, please consider talking to a professional to get some help

If you 'enjoyed' your life normally you wouldn't feel like this.

The best holidays are ones when you have a great time and long enough to feel refreshed so that you are actually looking forward to going home. This has only happened to me when I have been lucky enough to have a month off.

Unfortunately this requires
A. A long holiday minimum of 3 weeks and
B. A life that is otherwise good -meaning

• something to do you actually enjoy (job, interests, volunteerting)
• immediate relationships (including friends in this as well as partners and family) that even if not boundlessly delightful ( !) are at minimum neutral/ not actively distressing and supportive
• you are basically healthy (not unwell or depressed)

If one of this is out or all of them are (job you hate/stressy home life or friendships/ill health) you are never going to be raring to go to get back.

A holiday is supposed to be a break but if you have acute 'depression' when you come back it's probably because there are things in your life that aren't right and the holiday seems better because it was a form of 'running away'. Unless you have a life and budget to go on a permenant holiday to holiday, then you need to address the underlying problem which could be depression or it could be something with a clear cause like a shitty job you basically hate.

I used to travel a lot and always felt like this afterwards but it turned out I just really hated the flat metropolitan place I lived in! Since moving to a pretty, hilly area I’ve always felt much happier returning. I also have young children too and enjoy coming back in summer as there’s so much to plan with them in nice weather and they’re so excited to get back and play with their toys!

Can you book a camping trip or a weekend U.K. break at all so you have something to look forward to?

Yes, of course post holiday blues. I understand, being somewhere you love and can imagine yourself living then coming back to normality sucks! A mix of the greater simplicity of being away and realising you could actually make the holiday into a reality to stay. It would be different, same chores etc but in a different place with so many benefits. My Dad used to go away several times a year to a place he loved so combined UK with abroad and made the best of both. Xx

I don’t go on holiday at all sadly but it’s because I prioritise other things

We booked a virgin fly drive to L.A. And it was £1,000 cheaper than BE flights and inc the car so worth checking as well

Think about people who can’t afford holidays - or don’t go on holiday then you won’t have to be depressed about coming back

I have just had my dream holiday and it was the best week of my life. I can’t afford to do something like this again for probably 10 years, but I haven’t felt down. These are the things that keep me in a happy mindset: a) having things I look forward to arranged. I have a hobby I love luckily so I have made sure I am doing that a lot now I am back. b) feeling grateful for the things that are better at home (eg not having to spend so much money, TV shows I enjoy, not so hot as it was boiling etc). c) looking at my holiday photos a lot as it makes me feel happy to have those memories even if the time has passed. d) researching and planning my next (much more low budget) trip. e) catching up with friends for lunch, keeping busy. Hope you feel better soon.

The Gift of a Happy Mother is good too, available on audiobook, so can listen during laundry hours. I like to listen to podcasts or audio books while doing laundry - reclaims the time for me somehow

you sound really busy and “booked” all week, can you find an hour or two a week just for you to exercise or relax? Yoga is great to feel good and wind down

We also did Disney world over the Easter holidays, it was the first time I'd been out of Europe. We did 2 weeks on a cruise from Port Canaveral then 6 days in the Four Seasons hotel and went to all 4 Disney parks, we had a VIP tour guide who would drive us from the hotel and they have a pass for the queues. Best holiday, won't be going back for a few years. I'm a SAHM but the weather was miserable when we got home to Germany. Our washing was included in the room on the cruise but I still had 6 days worth from Disney World. Be happy you could go and look forward to the next one, even if it's a few years away.

I get this having not long returned from a much awaited holiday, and like others have mentioned, it comes from a place of being unsatisfied with normal life. I don't like my job. I find it boring. The days drag. I don't see my dh much. He's a shift worker. I don't have friends to see. No hobbies to go to which links to dh being a shift worker. I don't have anyone to look after my ds when dh is working. What to do....

Haven’t read all the thread, but you can self refer to talking therapies via nhs in many areas. They have questionnaires that will decipher if you have any anxiety or depression and do therapy sessions if appropriate.

I think it's the same with any kind of dopamine-inducing high. I do a lot of self care, socialising, hobbies to keep me in a good mood