Why do people think parents who pay for private education are enormously wealthy?

[SheineOn]

Is this just the stereotype?

I went to a school that cost 18k a year (15 years ago). It’s now 24k a year.

There were wealthy people there. But also many ‘normal’ people. At least 40% fell into that category. People who lived on estates, drove modest cars, skipped holidays and ate cheaply.

They made a choice to spend their money on private education. For context, two of my closest friends have dc in private. They live off 450 a month after paying fees. They are not high earners.

Not everyone has endless wealth. Some are just happy to make the sacrifice. I find it strange people don’t seem to get that and makes me wonder how lacking in knowledge you must be to have that view of the private sector.

@Sarah2458 literally says 'we are reasonably comfortably' she is making the point that she is far from the breadline and they have two incomes and can afford luxuries and a fairly recent car but 24k pa on fees, especially as it sounds like they have two kids, would wipe them out.

Her income is similarish to mine although my kids are older. DH and I both earn approx £50kpa in senior professional roles, mine in the NHS, his in HE. Joint take home is nearly 7kpcm.

But we have three children and have only secured these salaries f-t in recent years. The idea of being able to carve out 6kpcm for fees is madness.

I suppose we could make sacrifices, but child sacrifice is quite illegal everywhere I think...

You know people live like that without paying for private education right? It is a luxury to be able to afford such a large optional outgoing. Even if it requires sacrificed. Its like saying "yes i have a lamboghini but I have to budget and only go on UK holidays to afford it" yes. But you are chosing to spend most of your disposable income on one thing instead of lots of little things. You are fortunate to have that choice.

It's my chief complaint with a certain sort of right wing politics; if there is equality of opportunity in law then all you have to do is pull yourself up by your bootstraps. It perpetuates the myth of meritocracy which is bullshit.

Hard work will only get you so far.

The only post by the OP in the last 12 months...

There probably are quite a few families on fairly average incomes at private schools, but I wouldn't mind betting that a lot of those are having fees paid by the grandparents or from an inheritance. Or they have a good amount of capital, or a source of income you don't now about (an extra house rented out maybe).

Other than that, to pay fees out of post-tax income requires an above average salary, and if you have more than one child then just cutting back a bit and prioritising won't pay those fees even if you are on £50k.

And can we please put to bed the idea that you have to send your child to private school to have a good education. My DC are getting a fantastic education at their state school.

That's a big assumption about bursaries.

Our local private school (850 students) has 18 students throughout the school receiving 100% bursaries, 60 students in total receiving some sort of assistance with fees.

Getting assistance with fees is not a right.

This is what is absent for all these nasty posts on this thread - talk about 'haters' and so many are rude to the OP without good reason implying she is somehow dim !

I think many forget the input of wealth from grandparents and relatives who have channelled some of their wealth - either though legacy or downsizing their homes to provide additional income for their family and who value education.
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I have done this for my family and I know I am not the only one. This is money given with the intent of proving a good education for those they care most about.

Are you sure they weren't on an assisted place? I was at a private school where everyone was solidly upper-middle class. Only people who weren't were paid for by the government scheme which i believe has now been abolished.

Our local independent school charges £9700 per term day fees. I think it’s going to take more than swapping from Waitrose to Aldi to afford that.

Of course its not a right but with the salaries I quoted it is highly likely that bursaries would be awarded as they are means tested.
Just illustrating that private schools don't need 6 figure salaries and therefore framing what are we classing as wealthy?
Because if anyone over median 35K is wealthy then a lot of people on this forum are wealthy without realising.
Or do we call anyone wealthy who earns more than the person asking the question?
Is someone earning 36K wealthy?

No. We're asking You.
Because you started the thread and gave that as an example. Along with the other 'non wealthy' BIL who just so happened to have a huge deposit and so has a tiny mortgage. You seem to have an issue with basic maths and comprehension.
When you see a homeless person and they say, I haven't eaten for two days, do you say 'Oh, but darling, you must try!' ?

According to the ONS, the median disposable income in the UK per household for the year ending 31st December 2022 was £32,300.

Note that the ONS defines disposable income as the net income after income tax, council tax and NI have been paid and after any eligible benefits have been factored in. It is not the same as discretionary income after bills and essentials have been paid for.

If a family had just one child in school with fees at £24k per annum, that leaves approximately £692 per month to cover housing, utilities and other bills, food, clothes and other essential items. Or £160 per week. It is categorically not possible for a family to live on this.

@Shortfatsuit i do actually agree with this. I don’t have exposure to people’s experiences and lifestyles growing up who went to state school as I went to a private school all my life. I can only really comment on those who spent the money there and the ways they made it work even when it was very difficult to do so. I do appreciate if you don’t earn as much as the fees then it’s impossible but I was talking more about the middle classes who aren’t actually wealthy but told that they are just because they pay for school fees. The same family wouldn’t be called wealthy if their children went to a state school, despite being on the same income

So op, does your bil have a second income coming into his house? does he own his house outright? Do family help with fees or have a bursary? On £44k you bring home around £36k, take off £19k that's £17k to live on - mortgage or rent is typically around £1000 a month (a lot more in some areas) council tax is circa £2500 a year, add utilities at £200 a month, car/transport costs at £3-4K per year.... simply not possible to buy food. These are obviously back of envelope calculations but I did crunch the numbers for my situation and my dd did go on a specialist 75% bursary, the £1.5k per term was hard plus around £400 extras, we couldn't afford any trips. We were on a supposed higher income too

Fair enough I didn't read properly. Sorry @Sarah2458.

People are calling out the Op specifically because she said that someone on less than average wages can afford 24k on fees with a bit of sacrifice. You’ve missed the point. There was no mention of additional income and her claim is ludicrous and was rightly called out.

That's why it needs 2 adults working to support private school. My wage covers fees.

Wow! I paid £900 per term for dd on a Dance & Drama Award!

For ds I paid almost £3k per term. I think prices have gone up a lot.

I do worry about how things like MDS schools and Dada schools & colleges will be affected by VAT as there are some quite under privileged youngsters attend these schools for very specific reasons.

But that aside everyone who is able to attend a private school unless on more than a 75% bursary is by definition, privileged.

Okay, Marianne, the average family two adults and two kids would have to hustle to feed themselves on £450 at the moment, magic chickens not withstanding.

..... the intent of proving a good education for those they care most about.

Dammit, I clearly don't care enough about my grandchildren. They'll have to run wild in state school without a 'good' education.

Interesting you mention dramatic arts:

Finally the Royal Ballet have come out.
TThis is from the principal
"It would destroy opportunity,” he said bluntly.

“I can think of specific young people who come from typical working class families who have discovered a love for dance, ballet particularly, who would never have had an opportunity to develop that interest and that love, and are now professional dancers in companies around the world.

“It’s the Billy Elliot story,” he added. “That’s exactly what it is.”

Depending on the impact of any potential increase in fees and subsequent student departures, we may well find ourselves in a position that would mean the quality of performance outcomes at the school may be compromised,” said Mr Gajadharsingh.

“I am sure that this is not a good look for any government, particularly when it concerns one of the flagship performing arts schools in the country.”

Even for non-vocational independent schools, the difficulty of planning around a policy for which there is currently no detail is a headache.

But for the Royal Ballet School, it’s a full-on migraine.

Currently, 58 per cent of students receive varying levels of government sponsorship under the Music and Dance Scheme, but it is not known whether these places will attract VAT, and if so whether the DfE would cover them.

Then there is the uncertainty around special needs pupils - around 40 at the Royal Ballet School are currently on the special needs register.

“I believe education should be something which is sacrosanct and protected, and a matter of parental choice,” said the principal.

“I think there’s a misconception out there that every private school is Eton or Harrow or Winchester, but they’re not.

“My gut instinct is this is the politics of envy. It won’t give them [Labour] the money they want or expect.”

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2024/06/05/labour-vat-raid-private-schools-billy-elliot-royal-ballet/

I went to a private school on a scholarship- I was clearly 'poor' compared to the majority of my classmates. My mum didn't even earn what the fees where and struggled with providing uniform / equipment and funding trips for me.

Not everybody there where millionaires but with exception of maybe 3 or 4 of us they where what I would consider wealthy

Wealth is not just taxable income. You realise that right? Some of the wealthiest people I know work for minimum wage. Because they don't have expenses.
You're not listening at all to what people are telling you.

Basically, the op has shown that she has no idea about what most people (ie, average people) live on.

Absolutely. We were offered a place, after they'd passed a very hard exam, at our local academic prep school. The only bursary they could offer was 50% which we would have really struggled to match. Some years, 100% ones are available and other times, not.

Luckily, our dc want too fussed and has gone on to shine academically and socially anyway, so we're fairly relieved at the savings!
Many school are having to clamp down on these