Why do people think parents who pay for private education are enormously wealthy?

[SheineOn]

Is this just the stereotype?

I went to a school that cost 18k a year (15 years ago). It’s now 24k a year.

There were wealthy people there. But also many ‘normal’ people. At least 40% fell into that category. People who lived on estates, drove modest cars, skipped holidays and ate cheaply.

They made a choice to spend their money on private education. For context, two of my closest friends have dc in private. They live off 450 a month after paying fees. They are not high earners.

Not everyone has endless wealth. Some are just happy to make the sacrifice. I find it strange people don’t seem to get that and makes me wonder how lacking in knowledge you must be to have that view of the private sector.

Same here, £100k between us before tax, if we sent them both to private school then we would be left with about £100 a month after fees and bills and I consider £100k to be pretty good.

Please god make it stop.

No family in the U.K. lives off £450 a month for all costs and bills. OP is either very stupid or talking utter rubbish to get a rise. Either way it is embarrassing.

Yes you are the one out of touch op

I earn 32k a year - would be 40k if I was full time, but you know, availability of childcare - and am a single mum of two. No there is no way I could afford 48k on school fees....

I don't necessarily assume 'loaded ' but I do know that no matter how much scrimping and saving my parents (teachers) were to do there is no way they could have sent us to private school. So I do assume that they have degree of financial freedom where the 18k (or however much) per year can be diverted that way without losing home/not eating/hobbies really sacrificing the entire family's quality of life etc. So while not necessarily enormously wealthy, they're still considerably richer than most people.

People who can afford 24 k a year are wealthy .
Many people only earn that much in a year.
Many families are extremely hardworking and care just as much about their children's education. They also make sacrifices real sacrifices sometimes like not eating dinner every day to buy their children uniforms and pens.
Many people we would consider middle class work hard, have one old family car, don't go on holiday, and live very fruagally they still couldn't afford 24k a year. The sacrifices they make are for school trips etc
I resent the argument that people sending their children to private schools are making sacrifices assuming people sending their children to state schools aren't.

Anyone sending their child to a private school is in a position of privilege (in that they can afford to pay for education when it is available to all for no cost). We make 'sacrifices for our children.' I don't agree you just want to mix with people of similar privilege or you want to climb the social ladder.

I think this OP highlights exactly what the problems are with private education for our society.

Having been to a private school herself, her concept of what is "normal" and of what an "average" household income can cover is totally unrealistic. She is massively out of touch with how the majority of people live, and assumes that, with a few minor sacrifices (old car, nol holidays etc), most people would be able to pay private school fees if they chose to do so. That isn't really her fault, it is just something that was clearly lacking in her education.

The real problem is that many of the people who have responsibility for making decisions in this country have grown up in similarly privileged bubbles. In many cases, I don't suppose that they actively want to implement policies that are horribly unfair, they are simply incredibly ignorant about the challenges that many families face. We really need to get a much better cross section of the public into positions of power so that we don't get stuck with such ill informed decision-making.

For some people yes of course it is. It's a fortune

2 incomes of 35K per year could do private school if they didnt live in London/SE as they would be eligible for a bursary for most , or all, of the fees.
1 x 35K + 1 x 65K could do it as still eligible for bursary towards fees.

How much does it cost in total to send a child to a private school?

School fees plus uniforms plus extra curriculars plus all the other little extras that are expected?

Because it's not just the basic school fee that needs to be paid is it? It's that plus another what 5? 10 grand on top?

The average pre tax salary in the UK is apparently 35 grand.

I'm not seeing how a family on, as you said, below average salary could send even one child, let alone 2 and still house, clothe and feed themselves.

This is where some people are totally delusional and out of touch with reality thinking that people without massive privilege can 'make a few sacrifices ' to free up £24k a year.

YOU ARE WEALTHY if you can afford £24k pa school fees.

You ARE.

One child, but we were old parents. GPs chipped in one-third, and we had been able to pay off the mortgage by the time we were 48 (when DC was 4) and afford day school fees for most of school years, although we had several at state school too. It would have been impossible with two kids though.

Fees around 18K + 1K uniform in first year but then just topped up
That's all apart from trips

Also - I know some parents 'sacrifice' for this but I do sometimes wonder if its always worth it? My two sisters have made different choices for schooling - one went state, one private. The kids from the state school have done just as well as their cousins with the benefit that they got 2 or 3 holidays a year and did a load of £ hobbies. The sister who went private couldn't afford any of this. Admittedly both in a v privileged position. Both sets of kids done well, at uni, lovely bunch. But I do sometimes wonder who get the better deal.

Outside of MN, I haven't heard a single person discuss this. But what I have realised reading all these posts is that those who just about manage to pay for private school really do think others resent them. Comments like this are snide and barbed.

If I spent it on a family holiday in the sun, manicures, a weekly PizzaExpress and a trampoline for the garden, that would be ok, but because I chose to give my ds what he badly wanted, that makes me elitist and evil

I don't think it is at all evil but it is stupid to leave yourself so short when you don't need to. Aspiring to do the same OP is simply folly.

You make it sound like you are on the breadline. You might not be able to afford private school but you are doing pretty well.

This with bells on…. Me and dh both work, live in a modest 3 bed semi, a modest car, cook from scratch and haven’t had a holiday since March 22, shop on vinted yet each month is a struggle. Please advise me where I’m supposed to find 24k….. if you have that money spare after essentials then yes you are wealthy. Going without ‘luxury’ isn’t really the point….

OP the rest of us understand that if you are living frugally to be able to afford school fees then VAT on top may well put private school out of reach, that's because we know that pulling an extra 5k out of thin air isn't possible.

You don't seem to understand that lots of people are living frugally and have zero left after all living expenses are covered, nevermind 24k.

Rent/mortgage, utilities, food etc are essentials, school fees are not.

If you are budgeting carefully and can't afford to live people will sympathise. If you are budgeting carefully and can't afford school fees they won't.

Essentially you are complaining that your diamond shoes are too tight when other people are barefoot.

To those asking how much it costs, I pay £9k per year plus £1,500 bus fare. But if he went to the local state school, the bus fare would be the same.

This is GCSE year so I had to pay £432 exam fees.

Yes, if the stability of my child's education was in the balance with such a small margin, I'd have had them in state the whole time.

"Normal" people can't afford £24k on school fees. An average wage after tax is around £32k, and that average is skewed by the super wealthy, around here £24k a year is a typical supervisor level wage.

I don't have philosophical objection to private education however suggesting ordinary people make sacrifices to pay is disingenuous. The already wealthy are the only ones who can afford private education (paying full tuition) unless grandparents etc are funding.

Bang on!

I'm sick of being told by the privileged I just need to make a few sacrifices!

I made the decision because the state school we were offered was in special measures and even Ofsted said it wasn't safe, shortly before winding up the trust.

We don't all have a reasonable state school as an alternative.