Why do people think parents who pay for private education are enormously wealthy?

[SheineOn]

Is this just the stereotype?

I went to a school that cost 18k a year (15 years ago). It’s now 24k a year.

There were wealthy people there. But also many ‘normal’ people. At least 40% fell into that category. People who lived on estates, drove modest cars, skipped holidays and ate cheaply.

They made a choice to spend their money on private education. For context, two of my closest friends have dc in private. They live off 450 a month after paying fees. They are not high earners.

Not everyone has endless wealth. Some are just happy to make the sacrifice. I find it strange people don’t seem to get that and makes me wonder how lacking in knowledge you must be to have that view of the private sector.

From Statista:
Average annual earnings for full-time employees in the UK 2023, by region. The median annual earnings in the United Kingdom was 34,963 British pounds per year in 2023. Annual earnings varied significantly by region, ranging from 44,370 pounds in London to 31,200 pounds in the North East.

Obviously if you earn 34,963 and spend 24k on school fees you are left with 10k to live on, which won't cover most people's rent/mortgage, let alone anything else. Come on OP, you must know that people paying for school are above average earners. Maybe not above the average in your circle, but above average nationally. Don't be so obtuse.

I did say I wasn’t taking into account double incomes or the potentially skewed average cost of living but I was only budgeting for one child. Averages salaries, expenses etc are also skewed by the top end.

Also I was working slightly anecdotally as both our kids were at private prep schools and originally we were on a joint income of about £120k with 2 at about £25k for the elder and slightly less for the younger (pre prep fees) and we just about managed but that was our choice. We knew there was no way we could afford the boarding schools we wanted on that income but thankfully things went our way and our household income is significantly higher and we can cover the boarding fees at our school of choice and have extra to do things with. The point I’m making is that I don’t believe more than 20-30% could afford PE fees at a standard PS and therefore all count as wealthy. If you’re telling me you think more than 50% of families could educate their kids privately but choose not to I’d love to see the data on that.

Why would I? I have a degree. Despite my non private school.I mentioned above I'm in Ireland and we don't have that culture, but it seems from MN at least that private schools are an obsession, despite the obvious fact that they are far beyond the means of many people. They are not the panacea that guarantees excellent results. Parental involvement is so much more important.

Of course - those 3-4-whatever kids in families who can't feed them but keep breeding are much happier.

It never fails to impress me how small minded some people are and how difficult it can be to imagine life different to their own

???

@DanielGault private education isn’t just about exam results.

No ?

What exactly is it about so?

You forgot to take income tax and NI into account on the 35k salary! Post tax and NI but without any pension contributions (clearly an essential) you take home 27,800K so even less chance of affording anything. And that's with only one child.

@SheineOn I'll ask again - where is BIL wife? Does she work?

Do you AND your partner work? How do you manage working in just 2 pairs of jeans and a couple of jumpers?

The difference is astonishing - not because private school kids are “posh” (some are, most aren’t) but because all parents are on board, the classes are smaller and more manageable - not necessarily for the teacher but for the children, especially the one with SEN.

So you think parents who send their kids to state schools aren’t ’on board’? How insulting. My husband has been a school governor and given up so much of his time and energy to support the school. I have been ‘on board’ for so much of the extra stuff at school - volunteering for bake sales, culture days, sports days, special events etc etc. Taking time out from work to show up for my children and help out. State school parents can be just as ‘on board’ as private school parents - it’s disgusting to say that people with money must be more engaged with their children’s education than people who do not spend thousands of pounds on a school.

I can see why parents scrimp and save for their kids to have this education rather than the local comp. I respect them for their sacrifices.

So by that token you don’t respect parents who don’t ‘Scrimp and save’ to pay for private school? I don’t even earn enough to pay half a child’s private school fees, let alone fees for two children! I could stop eating I guess, but even then I couldn’t magic £48k out of thin air. Guess I don’t care about my children enough, or work hard enough eh?!

I think most people would get this, if this is what the op was saying. Yes, people scrimp and save, but it’s not remotely possible for people on an average wage - which is what the op is stating,

FFS none of this shit matters. It's not about the parents.

It's about people defending the principle that it's ethically ok to have absolutely astonishing levels of inequality of educational opportunity for children - as long as it benefits their own children.

And the one policy put forward by a political party to shift some of the money from private schools to state schools to address this chronic unfairness in the most minor way, has been met by an outbreak of outrage and outright refusal to consider that private schools might be expected to make any changes to their costs to accommodate this change.

Today I'm seeing posts by parents on my social media feeds in tears talking about receiving letters from their children's state schools detailing how they're going to have to get rid of support staff and cut the small amount of extra curricula provision to address their funding problems.

It's obscene.

The difference is astonishing - not because private school kids are “posh” (some are, most aren’t) but because all parents are on board

I’ve worked in private schools, parents can be very difficult because they are paying so expect a lot. And then some are very hands off because they are paying.

Thank you for your post. I completely agree.

‘Of course - those 3-4-whatever kids in families who can't feed them but keep breeding are much happier.’

is ‘breeding’ a term you use for the Boris Johnsons and Jacob Rees-Moggs of the world of the world or just for the people who can’t afford to send half a dozen offspring to private schools?

@izimbra but everyone here is saying state schools are fine and adequate?

Fuck off are they ‘all onboard’ - the whole point of boarding school is the outsourcing of raising a child.

no, that was the point - it was an AMA.

she revealed the fact that there were huge bursaries in many cases that go untaken because the people who would qualify dont know about them.

That made me approach my local independant and ask. My thread is on here somewhere. A bit of bartering and a headmaster who took a shine to my son and pulled some strings, and yes, Im probably on around the same as she was, and yes, a SMALL amount is paid by a grandparent (about 10%) but it is possible for a child to be in private school and for their parent to not be wealthy. Its probably not common - you are not really supposed to talk about it, but there are several quietly in this position in the senior school, who may also have scholarships too, and in the sixth form there are a fair number of high percentage scholarships available for kids from local state schools, along with top up bursaries

@NettleTea you are correct that many are unaware & don’t apply however it’s a tiny minority.

“While some families receive financial support from their school, just 7 per cent of pupils at independent schools receive a means-tested bursary or scholarship, and just 1 per cent of pupils receive full bursaries, according to the PEPF’s fact-finder tool.”

👏So well put thank you. I am sick of these threads. Just puts me off MN completely, so many entitled, selfish people out there

@Itllfalloff there’s also something called a day pupil. Chill out.

And then of course not everyone from those backgrounds will have gps who can pay

If you are earning around 25k, itbdoesnt matter how many sacrifices you make, you simply can't afford private school. The income just isn't there. Even being able to make sacrifices to send your child means you are still quite privileged.
Don't get me wrong, I understand that not all children who got to private school come from.really wealthy families, but that doesn't mean they don't have considerable privilege.
I speak as a private school parent. I can see a real diversity of incomes amongst dc peers, but anyone who can make budgetary adjustments to afford 1300+ per month is in a very fortunate position.

@SheineOn did you answer re how you saved for a deposit whilst renting & how much you paid for childcare over the last 5 yrs?