Why do people think parents who pay for private education are enormously wealthy?

[SheineOn]

Is this just the stereotype?

I went to a school that cost 18k a year (15 years ago). It’s now 24k a year.

There were wealthy people there. But also many ‘normal’ people. At least 40% fell into that category. People who lived on estates, drove modest cars, skipped holidays and ate cheaply.

They made a choice to spend their money on private education. For context, two of my closest friends have dc in private. They live off 450 a month after paying fees. They are not high earners.

Not everyone has endless wealth. Some are just happy to make the sacrifice. I find it strange people don’t seem to get that and makes me wonder how lacking in knowledge you must be to have that view of the private sector.

@Pollipops1 what do you consider a high income? I can absolutely bet we earn less

HA😂

Have you ever been in a state school?

Exactly this. I went to a state secondary and worked hard and now I earn a lot. The only reason I’d use private would be if my kids were really struggling academically and I thought they could benefit from a much smaller class size or something, but they both seem more than capable enough of excelling without me being 50k poorer each year…

@Kinshipug the fact you don’t believe that that’s my wardrobe genuinely sums it up. You have no idea of the ways people live to ensure their dc go to these schools. So, as I said in my OP, most families paying fees are not wealthy. It obviously makes you feel better to label them as such.

Talk about missing the point. When the kids get a job in the city you'd better hope there isn't a crash, because you won't have brought them up with an iota of resilience. And they'll be fucked.

This thread is seriously going round in circles. The OP has not yet told us what she means by wealthy so the whole thing is a bit pointless. (I mean it’s probably pointless even if there is an agreed definition)

Average cost of living is about £30k for a family of 3 so add the extra £24k you’re looking at needing a gross of at least £60k just to cover PE and living expenses. That puts that family in the top 20% ish. figures are rough but not far off. So if you can afford PE fees and nothing else you are still in the top 20-30% of households. I think that that should fall into the definition of ‘wealthy’ but you can define it. If you want to add holidays, cars etc etc then you’re probably more in the £100k plus bracket which is top 5% so again should fall into ‘wealthy’. I know I haven’t taken into account double incomes, averages pushed up by the top percentile but I also have worked figures on one child so it sort of evens out.

Ergo if you can afford PE you are wealthy - unless you define wealthy as only being in the top 1%. Should you be negatively judged for it? No. But appreciative of the privilege of choice.

The median household income in the UK is £32,500. https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/personalandhouseholdfinances/incomeandwealth/bulletins/householddisposableincomeandinequality/financialyearending2022

If fees are £24k, how would you propose to live off the remaining money, with a mortgage/rent? How would you propose these “average” families fund multiple children, just by cutting spending elsewhere?

And god no, no private school here, as I said earlier. Your superior reading skills must have temporarily escaped you.

@Comeoncar yes, two. I was horrified at the lack of facilities, poor food options, the crowded classrooms. That’s why I’ve gone out of my way to not let that happen to dd. Maybe we won’t be able to afford it when it comes to it, but we will try.

So tell us your income then.

@DanielGault why don’t you visit a few and you’ll understand why people choose it. I mean that genuinely, unless you’ve been to some you won’t appreciate the difference.

Not everyone manages it which is why many people, let’s be honest woman, are having to leave the workforce as they cannot afford to work because of high nursery fees

That is what you call a sacrifice

So, as I said in my OP, most families paying fees are not wealthy. It obviously makes you feel better to label them as such.

OP, have you learnt nothing from this thread. Most ARE definitely wealthy

And PS for the third time, where did your deposit come from for your house?

You sound so horrendously out of touch! Must be your elite private school education talking 🤣

I won a scholarship to a private school and almost every other pupil came from very well off families. Eg were able to afford ski trips to Canada with no issue.

If you can’t afford it, don’t send your child to private school surely - end of discussion. It’s a huge privilege and should be taxed appropriately.

How much do you make then? How much did your house cost? How did you fund the deposit? You want to be credible, give us some actual numbers beyond how many pairs of trousers you supposedly have.

I'll be honest - I've always assumed that people who send their kids to private school are pretty wealthy. I've been surprised at the uproar on MN about tax.

It seems so reckless to me, to send your kids to private school, if it is such a stretch that an extra 20% makes it impossible.

I would never put my kids in a position where they grow up used to tiny class sizes and a certain environment, when they could get withdrawn and moved to a very different state school at the slightest change in circumstances.

I wouldn't choose private anyway, but certainly not unless I had 5 years+ fees in the bank as a backup.

Crowded classrooms??? You sit, open your book and pay attention. It almost sounds like you're making excuses in advance 🙄

Posted this on another of the many many posts about private schools.

The graph shows the % of kids that attend private school by income, left being low income, right being the richest families.

Aside from the wealthiest quarter of society virtually no one sends their kids to private school. Private school attendance only really kicks in for the richest 10% and is massively more likely among the top 1 % of income.

That's why people (rightly) assume only the rich send their kids private.

what do you consider a high income? I can absolutely bet we earn less

Your OP is about wealth though & income is only part of that picture @SheineOn eg someone who earns 150k but rents isn’t wealthier than someone who has never earned more than 40k but bought a house years ago that is now worth ££££.

I’m sure mummy and daddy will be able to help eh 🙄

What’s your household income, OP?

To be fair to the OP, this is just about doable.

On the assumption that there is only one child and that their mortgage or rent is no more than around £1,000 per month.

"People on less than average pay..."

Well, I don't know about "less than..." but if both partners are earning the current median salary for a full time worker (according to the ONS, that is currently £35,464) then between them they would have a take home pay of around £55,770 per year.

If they only have one child and they are spending £24k on school fees that leaves the family with £31,770 per year to live on. That is £2,647 per month.

So, yes, outside of London, let's assume they have a mortgage of around £180k that is costing them a £1,000 a month. Then it is possible for two people on median wage with a modest mortgage to be able to afford that.

Well it seems that one of the things that a private education doesn’t teach you is class.

She can buy less pairs of jeans and cover the VAT, it's all cool