Why do people think parents who pay for private education are enormously wealthy?

[SheineOn]

Is this just the stereotype?

I went to a school that cost 18k a year (15 years ago). It’s now 24k a year.

There were wealthy people there. But also many ‘normal’ people. At least 40% fell into that category. People who lived on estates, drove modest cars, skipped holidays and ate cheaply.

They made a choice to spend their money on private education. For context, two of my closest friends have dc in private. They live off 450 a month after paying fees. They are not high earners.

Not everyone has endless wealth. Some are just happy to make the sacrifice. I find it strange people don’t seem to get that and makes me wonder how lacking in knowledge you must be to have that view of the private sector.

Allfur For us, it is absolutely worth it. We have 4 DC who have had a mixture of private and state education. DC1/2 went to Grammars (30 minutes away). One of those was outstanding, the other was questionable but DC still came out with decent results and as a well rounded human. However, DC3 would not have thrived in our local state option and or got a place at Grammar. Their learning needs are not severe enough to have even been picked up at state. They are shy, anxious and well behaved. I work in a large secondary - they are the kind of kid that no teacher would know their name. They have thrived in private. They receive support. The small class sizes mean they can't hide. We chose the school we did based on their pastoral offer and I feel like it was a very good choice. DC4 will also go there next year, which will be tight for us, but I feel like it is worth it.

However, despite the above and the fact that things do feel tough sometimes I absolutely get that this is a choice we have made!

And what sacrifices are these? Anyone who can spare £24K to send multiple children (or just one child) to private school are doing pretty well for themselves.

They live off 450 a month after paying fees.

I’d love to hear more about this. How much do their bills/mortgage add up to then?

Individually, they don't earn much more than the average UK pre tax wage. I earn significantly less than the average wage, I'm also a single parent household and yet I still wouldn't class them as wealthy.

To scrape together the spare cash to use private school one of the sacrifices we’d have to make is which one of our children would get that private education because certainly both couldn’t go. So that’s nice isn’t it. Maybe many families don’t use private education because one might be possible but certainly not 2.

i have neighbours who decided to send their boy to private school because “he has the higher earning potential anyway” and their daughter is in state school. So that must be a nice family dynamic!!!

She might think it's a waste of money but that's because she has the option of something else which she considers good.

Like if you have to ask this question then you just aren't going to get it no matter how many of us come on here and tell you otherwise. We are both teachers (I'm part time ) have a mortgage, 2 average cars, a holiday a year and there is no way we have 24k spare to pay for education. Never mind the fact that we have several children. It just doesn't add up.

The best way to improve schools for everyone, is the same way to improve healthcare...

Force everyone, including the politicians and people with wealth and influence to use the same srervices as everyone else....

I agree but many posters are saying that anyone who earns anything over median wage is wealthy?

I might be exceptionally cheap, but I think anyone that buys expensive everyday wear for kids is ridiculous. They wreck them. And the quality of the dearer stuff when they put their knees through isn't worth the extra money. Penny's all the way here until they can prove they can mind the clothes. (Rant over)

Ah ok then, people who privately educate their children are majority selfless martyrs who forego even one bottle of supermarket wine to make their meagre salaries stretch so that their little Einsteins avoid the oinks. This seems to be the gist of the thread.
OP et al, you’re fooling no one. You had better sell all your worthy goods and start wearing sackcloth and ashes too to save your pennies for that VAT, while us feckless state schoolers get pissed in Ibiza and go for manicures. Isn’t that how it works?

Because poor people cant pay for it

@rollonretirementfgs this is exactly my point. We have the money to buy a brand new Range Rover, Jaguar, Porsche. Etc. We wouldn’t ever do that. Many do when it could instead be spent on fees, but somehow they’re not considered ‘wealthy enough for private education.’

And this is per child. Since I have three I would have had to pay £54. I am sorry but this makes you rich in my books.

We can do it (£15k fees for one child) on a £50k household income because we’ve kept living in the first (small, relatively cheap) house we bought nearly 20 years ago and have paid off the mortgage now. School fees are basically like having a mortgage again - that’s how it’s achievable for us. We could have chosen to upgrade to a bigger house, like most of our friends, but dd wouldn’t have coped in any of our catchment schools (SEN but very bright) and it’s been 100% the right decision. It does get a bit frustrating when people wrongly assume we’re loaded and get snarky about it. We are lucky and better off than many… but not unusually so.

I'm sorry but that's insane. Unless his child has SEN and is struggling to find provision by the state, or is below average intelligence, state school is absolutely fine and he could spend less putting his child in clubs, building their cultural capital and helping them to build a network. Going to a bog standard private school (which it likely is for 19k) with no money left to build experiences to make their child interesting when networking and emotionally intelligent just seems silly. I know plenty of people who went to private school who are in very normal jobs - absolutely not worth the investment. The money would've been better invested in stock or property for their future.

This is far too simplistic. This would just drive the inequality in a different direction which is why you see higher property prices in areas with good schools.

The way to solve this is invest heavily in education to ensure that the offer is the same across the board and all kids have the opportunity to thrive.

This I can absolutely understand and is something I would consider for a child who couldn't cope in mainstream.

I get the feeling some people think it’s somehow makes them better people to live frugally and send their kids to private school, personally I don’t think it’s a good idea to sign up for 14 years of private school when you can only just afford it, what happens if one of you becomes ill or prices go up so you can’t afford it, your children’s schooling is disrupted and they’re separated from their friends.

I’d prefer to give my kids a more comfortable lifestyle and a state school education any day. I say that as someone who was brought up by frugal parents, it was miserable always being told ‘we’re not paying for that’.

Interested to know where you get your figures from? A quick google search gave me this answer. The ONS website says similar. It’s a bit hypocritical of the posters bashing the OP for not having stats on private school parents salaries when I haven’t seen anyone quote the correct national average yet!! And yes, there’s an argument to say we should look at Median rather than Mean as an average - but the majority of the country use “average” to mean “mean”.

Why is MN so obsessed with private school if it's cripplingly expensive and state is perfectly adequate so? Why would anyone spaff that money for no reason? It seems nonsensical.

Not to be rude OP but you sound completely out of touch with reality that 90% of us live with. Anyone that has a spare 15,20,25K to pay towards private education in my eyes are very comfortable.

You use your BIL as an example yet also mention he put down a hefty mortgage, so his outgoings are obviously lower.

I’m not saying that for a lot of people they don’t have to sacrifice other luxuries to afford private school, I’m sure there are a lot of people making cuts. But to even be able to consider sending your child to a 24K a year school does make you incredibly privileged.

I don’t think you have to be overly wealthy, but to say people with average salary can afford to send their child to private school if they “sacrifice” is the most out of touch and no offence most stupid thing I’ve ever read.

Apologies, I got what you were saying as soon as I pressed 'post'!

Why should they pay for private education though?

Because 24k is more than our entire household income! If you can afford to pay 24k for your kid's schooling plus have enough income left to live off, then yeah, you're wealthy!

Actually, only a small minority could afford to do that.
Perhaps you could just be content with sending your children to a school that is inaccessible to 90% of the population, and give up on trying to prove that you are also morally superior to 90% of the population. You aren't, you just live in a bubble.