Does she owe me the money?

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Hi all,
A few months back me and 2 close friends decided on a theatre show, so friend 1 put the tickets on her card and was paid by friend 2 and I within a week. (Friend 1 also bringing her husband).
The week before I got tonsillitis and my daughter was also ill, so I messaged both 2 days before the event to say I was feeling ropey but messaged friend 2 privately to see if her husband wanted my ticket, no charge (as they’re our best friends, and my fault if she no longer wanted to go with friend 1 and husband). I didn’t hear back from her (turns out she was ill too)
Friend 1 didn’t know this, and for all she knew I’d sold it or gave it away (although yes they would be seated with my friend 1 and husband), but I was then told her sister was there in my place (this was during the show) and friend 2 wasn’t going as also wasn’t well.
It since turns out she gave her sister my ticket..she did send a message “I was going to give you the money for it but I don’t know what to do now”, I think because she gave it away, not told her sister she wanted money for it but she hasn’t said that directly. It was £30, not loads but still, to me it’s wasn’t hers to give away without asking me. She’s now gone quiet on our chat because I know she’s avoiding it.
Also what is bugging me is her sister is notoriously tight, and she’s got something free again (she is a whole other thread).
So, am I owed the money- should friend 1 made it clear the ticket was for sale?
Thanks if you have read this far

Hmm really she should have offered you the money but you were expecting to lose the money and wouldn’t have been able to resell so I’d leave it as it’s not worth losing a friendship over

IMO the ticket was not hers to offer.

The fact that she did is complete CF territory and I’d be annoyed. That said, if she asked in advance I’d probably give it away for free.

No. You and friend 2 both pulled out (albeit because you were ill) I wouldn’t expect money in this situation for friend 1 to invite someone else to accompany her.

I would probably offer in sister’s position, and if sister offered me would probably accept half.

If you’d explicitly asked for it to sell on that’s one thing, but I think you’re being a bit unreasonable to expect it when the ticket was just going spare.

I can't understand it sorry.

You spent the money and you couldn't go so you're out of pocket. That seems fair enough.

You couldn't use the tickets and neither could your also-ill friend. They were going to waste. None of you had returned them to the box office for possible onward sale. So I can understand why friend1 offered them elsewhere.

It would be nice of her sister to offer some cash but perhaps she can't afford it. Perhaps she was offered the ticket as only going to waste - which it was. I'm slightly puzzled why you resent the use of something you didn't want to use.

She was a CF and should have asked if her sister could have the ticket.

Friend 1 had had her husband going as well, she wouldn’t have been on her own.
But taking all points on board.
I do take the view of @HateMyNewJobSoMuch that it wasn’t hers to give away though. There was no “as you’re not coming, have you sold it?”. Also I think she told her sister she could have it before she even knew that friend 2 wasn’t coming so she could have bought her own husband. But I am grateful for everyone’s views.
Definitely won’t lose a friendship over it.

Sounds like you hadn’t found anyone to use your ticket so it was going spare - the other option was for friend 1 to go by herself which would have been rubbish for her. I wouldn’t expect to be paid back if my friend was facing an outing by herself that I was meant to go to with her.

What did you reply when she said “I was going to give you the money for it….”? because that was the time to say “Here’s my bank details”

@Trickabrick friend 1 was going with her husband. She wouldn’t have been on her own and I would never have expected her to go on her own.
I thought I’d lose the money as no one was going to buy my ticket, I didn’t say someone could give it away. Hmm

You paid for that ticket, it was yours.

She should've asked you if her sister could use it.

It wasn't hers to give away, and sister should cough up the £30.

I would ask friend about sister offering money back for MY ticket.

Your description of events is confusing …

Honestly I think you need to get over it. You couldn’t use the ticket and it would appear that your friend found someone at the last minute who could use it. Job done.

But you already lost it. Does it matter it was given away?

It was cheeky of her not to ask you, but either way, you’re in the same position - money spent on a ticket that you couldn’t use and didn’t sell.

Sorry your OP was really confusing OP! What did you reply to her message though?

She's cheeky for not asking you if she could give the ticket to her sister because for all she knew, you could have given it away. You paid for it and it was your seat so she had no right to it at all, especially as she offered it to her sister before even talking to you about it.
The difficult part is whether she should have given you money for it. Overall I think she should because she basically took over your ticket. However it is difficult because you would have lost the money because you didn't go so you haven't incurred an additional loss. If she's a good friend then I'd let this one go but I would ask her to talk to me first if a similar situation occurs in the future.

Sorry @Trickabrick reading it back I can see it’s confusing 🥴
She said that, and I said what do you mean you don’t know what to do (to give her the chance for her to say she’d given it away and not told her sister to pay for it) and then our other friend started talking about one of her kids which then derailed the convo and nothing since !

It would really annoy me.

I'd have to drop it into the conversation....'so what's happening about the theatre ticket, did sister say she was going to give me the money for it or what?' with a confused expression.

Sorry op I’m unclear too-did you offer it to the sister? Or did she give your ticket away without asking?
If you offered I’d say suck it up. If you’d already paid her and she just gave the ticket away, then she owes you the full cost and I’d ask for it.

@Stripeysocks1981 yes she gave it away without asking, said something about giving me the money but it was all very vague because clearly she give it away (without telling me)

Well this is as clear as mud 😂

So at the theatre there was friend 1, her husband, her sister and an empty seat? Because you and friend 2 were sick but friend 1 passed one ticket on to her sister?

Why didn’t you let friend 1 know that you were trying to find a taker for the ticket? Why didn’t friend 1 also let you know that she was doing the same?

This kind of situation comes up all the time and most people don’t have an issue because they let each other know what they’re doing, I don’t know why you and your friend have made things so complicated.

@Howdoesitworkagain yup I haven’t written it out well 🥴
I let friend 1 know I had messaged friend 2 to say her husband (or someone else she knows) can have it as this was before I knew friend 2 wasn’t going.
I would have definitely lost the money by not going, if no one else had the ticket, but someone did but I suppose what I’m pissed off about is it wasn’t hers to give away and she didn’t check with me in the first place. Like “can my sister come last minute if you haven’t got anyone to have your ticket?” It was just given away

Is it not exhausting to be this tight??? You were ill and couldn’t make it so she just gave it away to avoid wasting. I don’t think it’s a big deal and personally for the sake of just 30 quid I wouldn’t give it a second thought
I would never ask someone to reimburse me for that

I think this is one misunderstanding I would just let go. Yes, you could have sold it but you most probably wouldn't so I would just be glad that someone got use out of it. Sister might not have been that bothered for £30 but for free, gave it a go. I say move on and don't give it another thought.

@Firawla I am anything but tight. I offered the ticket to friend 2 for her to take anyone she wanted, (before I knew she wasn’t going) and didn’t want anything for it. I would have offered it to any of my friends for free. What I’m peed off at is her sister, who is scrounging money off their dying father like mad, is having something else for free, that I paid for this time! (Again, she is a whole other thread)
Plus it was mine to give away, no one elses!

Thanks @Morningcrows

Anybody with a bit of decency would at least offer to give some money for the ticket, knowing it's been paid for and they're going to use it!

Sister sounds the tight one here.