Husbands buying flowers?!

[babymama3938475749022971111]

I want to know how often your husbands get your flowers?
me and my husband have had the conversation that he should make more effort with romantic gestures. Even buying cheap reduced flowers every now and again to me it’s the thought that counts.
Before anyone states do I buy him gifts, YES all the time when I go out I always get him something I know he likes, a chocolate bar or his favourite thing. But I never get it in return which I find quite upsetting and he knows this. So AIBU to want flowers or a chocolate every now and again?

Never been bothered about stuff because he’s kind, gentle and thoughtful in every way. Has been since the day we met (nearly 37 years ago).

Don’t like cut flowers anyway 😁

I suppose everybody has a different idea of a romantic gesture - My OH is rubbish at presents, and I wouldn't want a bunch of flowers, but my OH does sort out, as soon as I ask, a lot bits that I gloss over.

My husband was guilted into buying a red rose on our first date by a street seller.

Never bought me flowers in 10 years since then.

I have bought him flowers a few times.

I was once carrying a large bouquet in the street, that I'd bought for him and a man approached me and asked me who got my flowers. I was confused and told him they were from me to my then boyfriend and he actually got very angry and said women don't buy flowers for men and that my boyfriend is a disgrace!

He usually buys me flowers once or twice a month or he will come home with things that he thinks I'd like, like plants or chocolate.

But not everyone buys gifts as a way to express their affection, does he show you affection in other ways?

Hmmmm. I think we have the same husband.

Rarely because I get them on the weekly shop so he doesn't get the chance.

Before anyone states do I buy him gifts, YES

That's your love language though. Just because you appreciate gifts doesn't mean he does. And just because you do it for him doesn't mean he owes you the same.

We realised a long time ago that my taste in flowers is very different to his so he no longer bothers.

Instead I have a monthly flower subscription that he pays for. (Tbh I dont think he knows he pays for it. All our accounts apart from ISA's are joint accounts but his money goes into one and my wages go into another - I set the subscription up to go out of the account his money goes into (rather like the Amazon account payment). LOL. We have always had shared money - I didn't work when the children were small so everything just went into one account.)

So whilst he doesn't realise it he lovingly buys me flowers every month.

He works away alot and his little gestures are bringing me back the biscuits, sweets and bottles of wine he gets in his hotel rooms.

Send yourself some flowers.

When he asks, say not from you? Or thank him profusely.

And stop giving him what he never gives you. He doesn't feel the need. Aren't you happy as things are?

Don't keep count but probably around 3 times per year, maybe 4. Although, I don't find it that romantic, as they're usually for my birthday/Mothering Sunday/Valentine's/Anniversary so a bit cliché.

I'd much rather he brought me a cuppa tea in bed in the morning or didn't moan on the very occasional time I ask him to make me a cuppa. He used to bring me tea in bed when we were dating, I'd really love and cherish those gestures if he still did them now.

Very occasionally, but always for no real reason, perhaps when I was pissed off with work for eg, which is perfect.

Speaking as the man... I'm fine buying flowers, but I prefer buying something more 'useful'.

Flowers to me just look pretty for a few days and then die, they're a pain in the arse to vase-up (new term!), and then there's cleaning up after they've dropped all their bits.

For £30 for a decent bouquet, I can get cinema tickets, half a meal, lots of chocolate, tickets to most events... or I can just buy the odd treat each time I go to the supermarket (ten tubs of Ben and Jerries!). True, it's not seen as 'as romantic', but I believe these bring more joy.

That's where I think the dilemma comes in... If anyone asks my wife whether I'm romantic, she may say I've bought one bouquet in the past year... she is unlikely to say that half the food shop is specifically treats for her, that I'll randomly send her a Starbucks while I'm out, and she's working from home. Small, regular things like that often get dismissed over 'traditional' (pointless, in my opinion) gestures.

He doesn’t often buy me flowers but he is always just bringing me little gifts. From one of my favourite cakes from the local deli to a book he thinks I’ll enjoy, a new woolly hat to a new smart watch because he noticed my old one was becoming unreliable.

I'm not fussed on flowers. DH is not big on gift giving and has bought me a few rubbish ones over the years (oven gloves! Clothes that I'd never wear) and some nice ones with a bit of prompting (spa day, books, nice chocolates) I can't get too worked up about it to be honest. He's not 'romantic' but he does bring me up a cup of tea in the mornings and make me a hot water bottle if my back's aching. He's kind to everyone, my friends, my mum, my sister all love him. He's a wonderful dad. Those things are more important to me than trying to be romantic when it's not really him.

Today he bought me a pack of crumpets because he noticed that I'd run out yesterday, so picked them up after walking the dogs .

He'll bring me a cinnamon roll, sometimes. Bought me amaretto biscuits because he knows I love them.

Once in a blue moon flowers. Daffodils always when he sees them.

It's the thought that counts after 48 years

We both buy flowers for the place, I am glad the days of 'you man have to do this for me woman' are gone

Well I hoped they were

Almost never. I've told him I don't like them, because I don't like the hassle of topping up the water and clearing up the mess when they die. He doesn't buy me random gifts and I don't buy them for him, apart from occasional things like chocolate or cake if I'm picking groceries up anyway.

He's better at different things, like organising the kind of family holidays I like, splitting the housework and childcare load even when he works ft and I'm a sahm, always being around for family activities at weekends, and never questioning the fees for school and extracurriculars I want the dcs to do. That sort of thing is more important to me.

I appreciate this comment. I should’ve titled it differently as it’s not just about flowers.
it’s about everything you mentioned like cinema or ice cream. IF (a big if) we go to the cinema it’s me that organises it, days out… me. Don’t get me wrong the man works bloody hard but sometimes I struggle to even get a reply back to a text let alone anything else tbh.

It’s not the “he has to do it” and it’s not just about the flowers, would literally be over the moon if he bought me a Kit Kat every now and again

I organise holiday IF we go on them 😑

On the 20th of every month since we met 4 years ago (on the 20th of the month). He's only forgotten once and it was the actual anniversary of us meeting. He'll never live it down

Ps.. They're typically a cheap supermarket bunch, £1 daffodils in spring etc. He's not going out and dropping loads of cash on bouquets every month, I wouldn't have that.

Usually on my birthday and our wedding anniversary but sometimes just out of the blue.

I would love to see more views from husbands perspectives if there’s any on here reading and willing to post!
The issue with things like this some wording comes across incorrectly, I am grateful for all the hard work he does to provide for us, I tell him all the time I’m proud of him and how hard he works, his Father’s Day stuff is all already ordered and organised, I got him a chocolate bar when st the shop today just because I glanced over and though ooo he likes them. i absolutely love this man to bits and pieces and I know he loves me - apart from he’s being a knob 😂 but I personally think you need that not gift giving but the whatever the words are I’m trying to say in a relationship, just a little pick me up every now and again especially when he knows I’ve been down. 🤷‍♀️

i don’t want expensive bouquets. £1 of daffodils would be more than enough. It’s the thought not the cost or item