Why do male friends just randomly drop you

[Lordsoftheboards]

I only knew him for 9 months so I know people will say it isn't that long, but we were still close.
He's still single so it's not to do with that or anything.
He's a very avoidant sort of person who'd rather make a million excuses because he thinks it's 'kinder' (or just easier) than saying the truth.

I have tried to find out why he's trying to drop me but it's just excuses about being crap at texting (which he never used to be) stuff like that. So I've just left it and moving on, trying to not take it personally.

I'm single too. Had this with 2 other male friends in the past, it might not necessarily be specific to men but it does upset me and make me feel like it was never a friendship. Any insights?

It's not just crap at texting, it's that if I didn't initiate the conversation now we'd probably never talk, whereas he used to as well.
Twice I've recently invited him to stuff which he couldn't make, but he didn't suggest an alternative.

They realise you're not going to shag them.

☝️ nailed it

That's it

Or didnt in this case.

Male friends drop you for one of three reasons-

1. They start seeing someone
2. You start seeing someone
3. They realise you won’t have sex with them

If this has happened three times, maybe it’s not them…

this... and as everyone else has said....

@Psychoticbreak 🤣

Ticked shagging you off the list (if relevant)

Fancied you and then lost interest

Are usually the reasons. Sorry- men are shit (not all the menz blah blah blah)

Most straight men don't make female friends for friendship ( most not all ) they only tend to respect women they would consider sleeping with.

Yes all happily married.
To borrow lend or return tools.
For a tea cake and a catch up.
Because I am on the way to somewhere else.
All easy to invite in or not depending on what is going on at my house.

Because some men use women platonically as well as sexually

female company, the potential that something ‘could happen’, the potential to triangulate other females they are sexually interested in….many reasons why they do so

All dropping off or collecting plant cuttings and dishes from meals either from meals eaten or with meals to eat.

Same reason female friends drop you.
You've done something to piss them off
Busy with work/life
In new relationship
Find you boring, flakey hard-working.....
Ask him

Possibly I live in alternate reality.
This week to drop off 2 ferns and 2 hollyhocks to plant. Stopped for a chat.
to drop off an unwanted butternut squash and have a chat.

There's all the same reasons that same-sex friendships end - you've pissed them off, they're bored of you, they've gotten busy etc.

But then there's the other reasons that crop up when two heterosexual people of the opposite sex form a friendship. Either they've realised they fancy you and know it wont be reciprocated so back off, or they did fancy you and now they don't, or have got bored of waiting for you to fancy them, or they've got a girlfriend who doesn't like them being friends with women etc etc.

I'm not saying that men and women can't be friends. My best friend of the last 20 years is a woman(I'm male), and we've never had any issues, but then neither of us have ever remotely fancied the other. The problem is that most men are starved of positive attention, so tend to start seeing any female friend as a potential partner at some point

Ahh answering the wrong question.
They stop dropping off because you are no longer in their vector. Work, home, activity. They have moved own to new activity temporarily or permanent.

😆 Sorry Nellie but you've given me a much needed big laugh.

They gave up trying to fuck you.

Absolutely this, in my experience.

And if you think "nah they didn't want to fuck me" try to imagine their response if you tried to kiss them while you were hanging out. Would they say no?

IME because they never were interested in friendship but a relationship / sex. He might still be single, but perhaps there is someone else he fancies now or he's fed up of 'waiting'.

@AliceKyteler I know it should read the query more carefully.

It was a funny response.

Honestly it's very depressing but people just seem to be accepting it here like it's nothing.