Would you be ok with Dh taking dc on a flight for the first time

[Tomisstheolddays]

Without you, for 3 days, my dc is 5, never flown before, never been away from each other overnight.
I’m not sure about it

Ah she’s growing up but this trip is a good thing and will be a great experience for both of them 😊 My son was 8 before he had his first night(s) away from me. No reason why it took that long, that’s just how it worked out but no harm done. He’s 11 now and just had a week at a sports training camp, home for a few days and then away again for his school residential! He’s no worse off for leaving his adventures til a bit later. I hope they have a lovely time and you enjoy a break too.

Personally, No I wouldn't be okay with that. I'd want to be with them for their first flight and first time out of the country.

For various reasons we have both taken young children on our own on flights. DC were fine. I admit that different children travel better than others but generally should not be a problem.

My husband has always taken our sons away without me from them being babies. They're in their 20s now. It's fine. I enjoy the break. They're with their dad so are every bit as safe as they are with me. (They both have autism.)

Have I been worried when he takes them away? - no.

Do I miss them? Yeah, but honestly, I really enjoy the peace. They went back home for a month to visit extended family some years ago. Best month ever. I crafted, watched shit films and got drunk with my sister. 😁

Your husband is your daughter’s father. If she needs comfort, reassurance or anything else she will have him. He is her parent and it would be the exact same scenario as you taking her on a flight solo.

Yes you may miss her but it’s for a few days and she’ll be back. Your child isn’t your property. Let her grow as her own person and develop confidence to be away from you.

You really have to start cutting the cord, op. Your daughter is 5, not a baby. She needs to start developing her independence away from you. She will be with her father and she will be perfectly fine.

I'm sure they'll both be fine. However, I wouldn't let mine take them on the bus...

You'll miss her more than she'll miss you! She's 5 so not a baby and she'll be with her father and meeting other relatives who will no doubt make a fuss of her. I know it's hard to be separated but try not to show your feelings to her, send her off excited and happy and make the most of the free time to do something nice for yourself while they're away. It will fly in.

Are you her primary carer, OP?
I can understand how you feel if you're the one who's done most bed times, stories, day trips, sorting out of everything.
She's still pretty young.
It sounds like your only concern is her missing you and you missing her.
The latter you just have to suck up really, for the former then I'd have a trial night away. Her and your DH go away for a night locally.

I would rather be there tbh. If they've never been away 3 days would seem a very long time for both of you. Is there no way you could go?

Of course

Unless I missed a post, the OP is not separated from her DH?

It means the child won't be away for 3 days, the child will still be with one of the parents. Bit different from sending them to a grand-parent for 3 days for the very first time.

If he is a competent and involved father, which I would hope he is, it’s fine.

@Tomisstheolddays

Would no one else be worried and miss their child 🙈maybe I have issues,

No one is saying they wouldn't miss their child or wouldn't worry. Of course Mums miss their DC when they're away and there is always a normal amount of 'worry'. We're saying that as long as the child is safe with their dad there's no reason to be 'freaked out' level worried.

Considering you're expecting (congratulations and best wishes) now is a perfect time for DD to go with her dad. They'll form a closer bond and she will be less dependent on you. This will 'free you up' for the time a newborn needs because she'll be content to let dad keep her occupied.

Of course I would miss her. But sounds like a lovely opportunity to spend time with her dad and meet new family. Ideally we would all but as you can't go i think still nice for dh and dd to go. Expect it will be a while until you and new baby can go too so seems a shame to dealy them.

Have you and your husband not had a weekend away in 5 years?

The child will be with her father - and no other family members, no doubt all making a fuss of her.
She will have a fantastic time.
If a 5 year old has never spent a night or two away from her mother, then it's about time she did - who wants a clingy child?

Many, many couples don't because they can't afford it, don't have childcare, children (or they) have additional needs. Not having a weekend away is really very common. We have just had our first in about 18 years, I thought this was unusual until I mentioned it to friends. They all said the same, not since having kids.

@MaryFuckingFerguson No, never. Family not close enough and would be a fortune to pay a babysitter for a whole weekend. Is that weird?

I'd only be put out and not happy with it I'd they wer going to see family I'd never met before otherwise I'd be fine.
Is she looking forward to it? I hope she doesn't pick up on your anxiety.

No, it’s not weird. You either do it or you don’t. The odd child-free night or weekend has always been a big thing for us from when ours were about 6 months, but that’s just our normal. Not right or wrong.

Of course I’d miss them. I’m sure they’d miss me. But they’d be fine with their dad. And i Wouldn’t want my child to miss out on this because of my feelings. I’d be happy for them to go because I love them. Because that’s what I think you’re implying. Your bond is so special and other mothers don’t have the same. 🙄

She could easily be separated from you for longer than that in about eight months' time - and hopefully her Dad will be with you for at some of that.

It's a good practice run, rather than the first time it happens being when you bring home a sibling.

Miss them, yes. Worry, no.

She will be OK if you can manage to pull yourself together and be positive and excited about the upcoming big adventure.

If you spend your time between now and the day of the trip fretting and anxious, she won't be fine.

It's up to you and your approach.

Pack with her. Show her how pleased you are that she's going to go on a plane, see new things, and spend some lovely time with daddy. Give her a big, happy kiss to see her off. Tell her you can't wait to see her back and hear all about her trip.

Then fall apart again if you must, but in a place where she can't see or hear it.