Embarrassing Doctor Stories

[OooSorryDoctor]

Lighthearted….. I went for a 4 mile walk the other week (5 weeks postpartum and not 100% my idea) and could barely walk the next day. Cue painkillers and a day in bed, until a mysterious rash appeared in the exact spot my knee was throbbing. Husband was concerned and said he’d never seen a rash like it, so better submit a picture to our local GP practice.

Long story short they called me in for an urgent appointment and within seconds I was diagnosed with a heat rash from using a hot water bottle 😆 cue a very embarrassed me apologizing for wasting her time 🙈🙈

Make me feel less embarrassed, what’s your best facepalm doctor story?

About a year after having my daughter I felt a lump on my vag. Went to get it checked and the nurse said "oh it's nothing to worry about. Its from where they stitched you up after giving birth.". Then she finished by saying "it's like you have a tiny penis". It's not, it's the size of a pea.

After being taken back to my room, after an operation I needed a wee. I was hooked up to various drips and one of my arms had been taken out of my hospital robe. I ended up being helped by two nurses onto a commode next to my bed. My robe ended up just swinging from one arm and I was totally naked. The nurses had left me for some privacy and my robe had just slid off. I couldn’t actually “go” either, so they ended up running the tap in the sink, with the hope the sound of the water would help.

I went to the GP on my ex husband's insistence as I had an offensive discharge that turned out to be a tampon high up in my vagina.It was most likely actually caused by DH having sex with me when I was asleep I realised some time later. When my daughter was little she was eating raisins at my late mum's house when my mum ,for some reason,told her not to put any in her ear,so she shoved one up her nose instead. I took her to A & E which really upset her so that she was in floods of tears which had the effect that the raisin got washed out by the snot.It was my quickest ever visit as I saw what had happened ,said thank you,and walked out again.

I am crying laughing at this 😂😂😂

I'd been having pains around what I was thinking was kidney but having read more after getting appointment for ultrasound I asked the lady doing scan if she could check my ovary as I thought it might actually be that ( OK not really close to kidney I know) anyway she did and as soon as she found it she laughed, because it turned out that was the cause of my pain , just glad she routinely scanned further than specific area told to

I never go to the doctor but I’m a male of a certain age and I was struggling to pee so I booked an appointment and the really nice elderly asian doctor did the inevitable prostate check. No drama, I suspect it was mostly psychosomatic and it took a finger up my bum for me to get over it.

A couple of weeks later I was standing at a urinal, looked down to aim and my penis was black. As black as night instead of the standard pale pink. Next morning, phoned the surgery, explained to the receptionist that my penis was black and she said “I’ll book you in for a telephone consultation.” Wasn’t massively convinced that this was going to be effective but assumed that this was a routine thing and a quick chat.to reassure was enough. Drove to work and had a horrible thought that it might be a FaceTime call and I’d have to show my bits on the internet. About an hour later I got a phone call to say doctor would like you to come in. Phew.

Checked in and got sent to see the same lovely elderly Asian chap who two weeks earlier had his finger up my bum. This time he was fondling my penis and cupping my testicles. No drama again, all very professional. Pulled my pants back on. He gently explained that it was a burst vein at the base of the penis. All very harmless except a thought popped into my head and the sensible part of me was screaming DON’T SAY IT. Unfortunately I couldn’t help myself, I blurted out

”I haven’t been doing anything weird you know?”

As soon as I said it I could see on his face, it went from him routinely explaining a common thing to him thinking I was protesting too much and thinking I’d definitely been up to something weird.

Haven’t had to go back since then, dreading the next time. He’s probably got visitors of a bucket of soapy frogs and a stirrup pump.

I’m so sorry that happened to you and glad to hear he’s now an ex!

… that’s made me laugh so much (sorry)! xxx

In my younger days, with a better pelvic floor, the doctor told me to ‘try to relax’ while inserting a metal speculum - instead I tensed and the bloody thing shot across the floor …

I have had a few embarrassing encounters with Dr's but the one that still makes me laugh to this day is with a Dentist.

I saw an orthodontist to have my teeth straightened but before she could start the process she said I had to have four teeth taken out as I had too many.
I was booked in for the teeth extraction and everything was going smoothly until the last tooth!!!!! This tooth was turning sideways behind the bottom front teeth and it would not budge no matter what the female dentist did. The dental nurse went out of the room and came back with a male dentist who tried everything to extract the tooth but to no avail. After numerous top ups of anesthetic he asked could he climb ontop of me to try from a different angle by this stage I just wanted the tooth out. So there I am lying on my back with the male dentist sat astride me pulling, tugging & twisting my tooth. This must of gone on for at least 20 mins and he was using all his strength, eventually the tooth came out but as it did I brought my leg up and kicked him in between his legs. There I am holding my mouth as blood was everywhere and he was still on top of me holding his crotch. I was mortified and apologised profusely and his reply was 'I most probably deserved it as I hurt you first'.

My nearest hospital is a teaching hospital so always get students observing or practicing procedures when I go there. During my last labour, every shift change I'd get a new midwife and a new student, at one point the student was male and I asked him what made him interested in doing midwifery and he very stiffly said he's not interested in doing midwifery, he just has to spend some time in every area as part of his studies. I was a bit embarrassed but mostly felt he was rather rude.

During my first pregnancy I was in hospital for several weeks due to extreme pain, at the time they thought the pain was all due to a swollen kidney but all the things they did to help weren't easing the pain. The doctor said I was such an interesting(!) case, would I be ok with some students coming in and asking me questions. Said yes, and then spent the next hour being interviewed by students, two at a time, wanting to know all about my symptoms and wondering why none of the treatments were helping (turned out I also had appendicitis at the time but it had been missed, so that's why nothing was easing the pain!). Felt quite awkward answering the same questions over and over while clearly struggling with pain.

My youngest child was a big baby, over 10lb, difficult forceps delivery and my bruising was apparently of great interest as students kept arriving when I was on the ward. Generally they came over and said, "Are you the lady with the bruising, could I have a look." After about a dozen "viewings" I said I was going to start charging. I think they got the message and it stopped.

When I had my first smear test the doctor doing it begged me to allow a student 6o observe as he'd been hanging around all morning and nobody had let him so far. I said yes and in sidled this terrified looking 12 year old looking boy. On being invited to take a look he gasped and said " Oh god it's all blue! " and swayed. She grabbed him and sat him down, gently explaining that I was clearly a day or so away from having my period. I got the giggles, the speculum shot out and clattered to the floor while she was administering a cup of water to him.
Another time my DH. The GP was giving him a rectal exam. As he started to insert his finger, DH turned to him and said sweetly, "You do love me, don't you doctor?" Luckily my DH is known at the practice for his sense of humour..

Literal tears of laughter as I read that one - oh my goodness, that is bloody hilarious!

I went to the doctor wearing a big thick jumper and he needed to use his stethoscope to listen to my heart rate so I had to remove the jumper and to my horror when I looked down, I saw my bright red left nipple proudly protruding through a hole I had in my bra! So embarrassing!

My late father had an IQ of over 150, like a lot of blokes born in the 1920s,he put off going to the Dr,and had no interests in medical issues. He was having stomach pains,etc. came back from the surgery,aghast, said "the Dr wants me to take a stool with me next time"😂

Hilarious thread!
I was looking after my grandson 5. Parents putting him to bed noticed little round bruises and rang 111. Who sent them to local hospital to check for sepsis at 8pm. Diagnosed as fine.
Were from laying on a rubber mat at the nearby playground that afternoon! I had suggested it might be that 😅.

That reminds me of the Mum who was called into the school to explain the bruises on her DD's leg, and she had to take her to the GP.
That evening the bruises washed off in the bath - they were from the felt tip pen Mum had used to mark her daughters wellies.

Another shout out to @MudandParsnips

I had a GP appointment today, just to cover off some paperwork. It took ages given the all the forms to be completed, etc.

Whilst we were both waiting I read this post aloud to him and he lost it laughing. Like, slamming the desk with his fist. Thank you from both of us 😂

My friend went for her regular smear - As many of us will know they give you a long length of paper to towel to drape over our nether regions to try and offer some semblance of dignity while they riffle around down there - Well my friend must have not got the memo, so off she popped behind the curtain to strip from the waist down and must have thought "ooo, thats nice they've left a bit of tissue for me to give myself a good wipe with before they go down there", popped the tissue in the bin and proceeded to lay on the bed legs akimbo awaiting the nurse - now I know medical staff are more than used to seeing all our bits and bobs, but as my friend described it - the nurse was a little shocked to see old Betty Beaver waving at her as she came around the curtain, asking what had happened to the paper towel she had left out for her to cover herself with? Fair to say my friend was mortified when we all confiremed we knew exactly what that large bit of tissue was for...and it wasn't for wiping yourself!!

They don't give you anything to cover yourself with where I am. Does seem a bit pointless, you know they're looking there so what does the bit of paper actually do to preserve your dignity?

I don't understand. If she'd been before surely she would know. If it was her first I think the nurses usually explain more clearly what to do.

I think lying there naked from the waist down makes you feel pretty vulnerable.
The paper allows you to feel a little more relaxed.

Well, obviously nobody has ever explained that paper to her. Either she kept going to this place without ever being told, or she previously went elsewhere where they didnt supply the paper towel.

You poor thing!
I laughed so hard at this as I’m picturing it, 🫣🫣

but that was so so unprofessional!
its in the par of a nurse shouting STOP BLEEDING! (It makes no sense, right? Exactly.)