Embarrassing Doctor Stories

[OooSorryDoctor]

Lighthearted….. I went for a 4 mile walk the other week (5 weeks postpartum and not 100% my idea) and could barely walk the next day. Cue painkillers and a day in bed, until a mysterious rash appeared in the exact spot my knee was throbbing. Husband was concerned and said he’d never seen a rash like it, so better submit a picture to our local GP practice.

Long story short they called me in for an urgent appointment and within seconds I was diagnosed with a heat rash from using a hot water bottle 😆 cue a very embarrassed me apologizing for wasting her time 🙈🙈

Make me feel less embarrassed, what’s your best facepalm doctor story?

He was prescribed vaginal pessaries?

The usual old joke about suppositories is the patient being prescribed them, going back for a review and saying "They didn't help at all, Doc. For all the good they did, I might as well have shoved them up my arse"

My osteopath said they are not allowed to say hello to you unless you say it first due to confidentiality, maybe it was something like that?

Absolutely howling at this thread! 🤣

Hahahaha, love this.

@CJ0374 That’s interesting, I’ve never heard of that. I have a smear due so will definitely mention it to the nurse. Thank you!

I have 2 kids & when I expecting my 1st, the MW also struggled in the examination, she mentioned I could have a possible bicornuate uterus and put it in my notes. I googled it obviously 🙄 & all sorts of worrying things came up. I mentioned it to the consultant after a scan a week later and she said I didn’t have a bicornuate uterus, but my cervix could be tilted.

Not a smear - but I’ve been to the doctors as I had an awful smell - turns out it was a stuck tampon! Must have been in there for a month or more!! 😳😳 no idea how it even happened!!

My orthodontist was very well to do. I guess on his fees he can afford to be! - as he took my fixed braces off I shouted fuck very loud... I did apologise but that it hurt a lot.... Was so embarrassed...

I remember this! It was use of the word “minge” that cracked me up then and still does now 🤣

This happened to me but at a funeral. Nervous tummy. Wasn't a fart but a very lihd squeaky tummy in a room full of people being quiet and respectful.

Do dentists count?

For over a decade I was unable to visit the same clinic more than once, due to a quite embarrassing reaction I had during the all-serious ceremony of the reclining of the chair.

My mounting anxiety combined with the ridiculousness of it all: that very slow tilting backwards that went so low you felt you were going to end up upside-down, that look of concern in the dentist's eyes, his face all swathed in mask and protective goggles... the knowledge that I was going to need to open my mouth wide enough for him to get in there with both hands. I invariably burst into uncontrollable cackles that were so loud I could be heard in reception.

A couple of guffaws then I'd calm down, dentist would do his bit and I'd rush out. Then find a new dentist I hadn't yet visited for my next consultation. It got to the point that I was driving for 45 minutes to get to a new clinic sometimes.

This is the first one to make me laugh out loud 😂 brilliant

I had piles (yes lucky me) and it took ages to get a doctor's appointment, being non-urgent. He - an elderly gentleman who has since retired - gave me a rectal examination and then looked at me as if I was insane and said, 'there's nothing there Mrs Horsey but I hope you feel reassured now I've checked.' I was absolutely mortified. Clearly the issue had healed itself, but he obviously thought I was some weird fetishist who got off on having their bum probed!

I've remembered another thing that happened to me, I have told this before on here, but I guess it bears telling again...

I was at a hospital appointment for some stomach problem I was having, and the consultant asked 'is there anything else I should know about your health?'. Straightaway I replied 'well, I am diabetic'. Except ... I am not diabetic. I have never been diabetic. I have no idea what made me say it, nerves I suppose.

I immediately realised what I'd said and I had to say 'Oh! No I am not diabetic, silly me haha'. The consultant gave me a very odd look and stared hard at my notes. I felt so embarrassed. He must have thought I was one of those weird imaginary illness type people 😬

I sent my husband to buy me a pessary for thrush once, and he was asked 'if it was for his own use'.

People do sometimes try to buy pessaries for anal thrush. The pharmacist probably wanted to check so he could make sure your husband was buying an appropriate treatment.
Bit different from someone apparently prescribing "vaginal pessaries" to a man for a throat infection.

I'd just given birth to DS and needed some pile treatment. I was embarrassed, exhausted, and very very wobbly from the birth, so I asked DH to nip into the pharmacy for me. He parked opposite and went in, leaving me and baby DS in the car, only to reappear in the pharmacy doorway a few seconds later, motion for me to wind down the car window and bellow across the busy shopping street, 'She's asking whether they're internal or external!' What felt like a thousand pairs of eyes turned to look at me and I could have died. Why he didn't just come and ask me discreetly, I do not know.

this happened over 40 years ago but the shame and horror echoes down the years

I had a boil on my arse which was getting more and more painful each day. Made appointment for GP, went in and explained the problem. He said he would examine the boil but he needed to get a female chaperone to be present. Asked me to strip off from waist downwards and to lie down on the examination couch. I did this and for some reason he covered my bare backside with a red checked teatowel!

He doesn't bring a nurse back in but instead to my horror it's the school cowbag who had left at 16 and was doing a YTS as receptionist. He snatched back the teatowel with a flourish (a bit like when magicians do the trick with a tablecloth) and prodded the boil before prescribing anti b's and salt baths. School cowbag's face was gleeful and bloody told all and sundry afterwards

I will never allow a red, checked teatowel to pass my threshold...

I called my doctor poppet once. As in oh hello poppet, how are you? In the tone of voice you'd use to a small child.

I have no idea why on earth that came out of my mouth.

He is the one who should have been embarrassed - for causing the pain!

I thought long and hard (about 15 seconds) before posting this 🤣

Completely outing, so hello to all my friends who already know of my UTTER shame!!

Some years ago, in the 'first flush' of a new romance whilst living on a military base overseas, my new beau and I were (ahem) 'experimenting' with my new 'bullet'.

He suggested it might feel pleasant if he used it to gently stimulate me anally. My only stipulation was 'don't let go, or let it go 'in'!' (The idea was to just massage the area as opposed to penetrate).

My arsehole had other ideas, however, and reacted fairly aggressively to the (actually up to that point, quite pleasant!) massage...and promptly swallowed the bastard thing whole...I quite literally had a bullet up my arse! Still buzzing!

Despite both of our efforts (and I will NOT describe those efforts out of sheer embarrassment!) it refused to exit my arse! I was in a bit of a panic at this point, and we decided a phone call to the med centre might be wise (we were in a very remote location and there was no other option open!) I was told to come right in as it could be an emergency (so, so embarrassing!!)

Long story short...the very good looking young military GP was finally able to extricate said bullet, and dropped it into a metal kidney bowl...still buzzing 😨

He proceeded to ask me if I wanted it back! You won't be at all surprised that I declined!

Anyway...as if all of that were not already THE most embarrassing thing to ever have happened to me, the following night was The Battle of Britain Ball in the officers mess.

Guess who was sat opposite me at our table?? Oh yes...👍 I absolutely died!! He, however, was a model GP and utterly charming all evening.

@twentysevendresses

THE SCREAM I HAVE JUST SCRUM

The receptionist should have been sacked for 'telling all and sundry' about the boil on your arse. Patient confidentiality hasn't changed in 40 years, it's still gross misconduct.

Same here- my waters had gone with my 3rd DC and midwife said my cervix wasn't there. She dug and dug and couldn't find it apparently. It felt like she was fishing around in my tummy!
It had reappeared by the time we got to hospital and said child was born that night...

Speculums are inserted sideways and then rotated into the correct position. It's to make insertion more comfortable. Sounds like the student had been taught correct procedure that the consultant was too fancy to bother with.

My embarrassing moment was turning up to an appointment in gynae clinic to find out was in the same room I'd been in the day before, shadowing the nursing team in a professional capacity. Then my examination was done by a doctor I knew from my previous job. Amazing.

I’ve had to change username as this was mortifying for me, yet absolutely hilarious for my DH.

I had given birth to my first child a few hours before - baby was 10lbs and I had pushed for what seemed like an eternity. About 6 hours later, on the ward, I called the midwife over and said that my bottom REALLY hurt. She asked me to roll onto my side, which I duly did. As she went to lift up my butt cheek, I suddenly realised I had a massive fart incoming… but I was too embarrassed to say anything. Instead, this poor woman raised my cheek and had a face full of flatulence. It was so strong, her fringe wafted (as my DH tells me!). She carefully dropped my cheek back, gave me a gentle tap and said “do you feel better now?”. My god, I don’t think I’ll ever recover from the shame!