Embarrassing Doctor Stories

[OooSorryDoctor]

Lighthearted….. I went for a 4 mile walk the other week (5 weeks postpartum and not 100% my idea) and could barely walk the next day. Cue painkillers and a day in bed, until a mysterious rash appeared in the exact spot my knee was throbbing. Husband was concerned and said he’d never seen a rash like it, so better submit a picture to our local GP practice.

Long story short they called me in for an urgent appointment and within seconds I was diagnosed with a heat rash from using a hot water bottle 😆 cue a very embarrassed me apologizing for wasting her time 🙈🙈

Make me feel less embarrassed, what’s your best facepalm doctor story?

in the early days of dating my now husband, we frequently had quite hard, vigorous sex. One day after such an event, my cervix felt quite bruised and I was having a bit of stomach pain, I was concerned he might have knocked my coil out of place. I tried to ignore it, took some painkillers etc. later that evening I noticed I had started bleeding. Again convinced he had knocked my coil out of place I went up to a&e. Explaining to the nurses and drs that my new boyfriend who has a large penis, and likes rough sex has knocked it out of place. Dr looks up there, can’t see where the bleeding is coming from, escalated to gynae consultant, who also has a look. He kindly tells me that I had started my period. It didn’t even occur to me that it was my period. I was mortified.

Oh that’s hilarious! 😂😂 I’m sorry but I’m going to have to tell that one whenever embarrassing stories come up.

I think you meant fart outgoing not incoming!🤣 And did you actually feel better after?

I also once had the forgotten tampax situation. Over a few days I started to notice a slight unpleasant whiff coming from down below. I just thought I needed a good shower. A couple of days later I crouched down to pick something off the floor and smelt the most awful smell ever. I had a poke round up the old chimney and pulled out a tampax that was green and squelchy and smelt absolutely foul. It must have been there well over a week. It's a wonder I didn't get toxic shock. I'm sure glad I decided to investigate it myself before making a doc appointment. I would have died of shame!!

This thread has had me laughing so much, and this one is a cracker.

Have @MNHQ agreed that it should be in Classics yet?

Unfortunately not an unusual experience when you're with the military, doctors, dentists, teachers are all your neighbours and social circle! I once had a minor op in the nether regions on a Wednesday, on the Friday I was, unknown to me as I'd been anaesthetised, I was dancing with the doc!

@Calliopespa i felt SO much better afterwards 😂 my DH asked me why I felt I couldn’t tell the poor midwife beforehand that I could feel a rumble coming, but I thought that would be more embarrassing! I would hate to think what the staff room gossip was that day 😂 Midwives are definitely heroes!

When I was 18 and a fresher at uni, I went to the doctor with "AIDS". I had read all the posters on the back of the toilet doors at the SU about how you get flu-like symptoms with HIV.

I had a cold.

The doctor looked at me really intensely with his head cocked and his lips curled, and asked me if I have always had issues with severe anxiety or whether this was just a "flight of fancy". I scurried out of there so fast. (This was the 90s and "affirmations of my truth" were thin on the ground".)

turquoise?!! haha. brilliant. At least i didn't do that. I read that green poo can be a sign of bowel cancer and she was already dealing with bowel issues so I basically had a mini breakdown over it. Mortifying when I realised what had actually happened.

i think I did something similar in the early 90s but to be fair we were raised on adverts of gravestones sinking to the bottom of the sea!!! anxiety my arse!

Haha 🤣 I still cringe (and clench!!!) all these years later!!! 😬

Went for a sigmoidoscopy (camera up the bum) and got gowned up and lay on the bed. The nurse came through to insert camera and said ‘oh hello, you teach my daughter!’. I nearly died. I’m primary teacher.

Also I seem to always get a student male doctor when I go for intimate appointments. 6 week check after baby. GP said, oh your stitches are healing lovely and were well done. Could the student doctor take a look? So he did. Then she decided she might as well do my smear whilst she was down there.

Flock of students also appeared when I was giving birth. Just as the midwife decided baby was a little stuck and I needed epiesiotomy. Suddenly a flock of students appeared to watch the incision and the baby almost flying out and nearly being dropped. After being stitched up they all came to look at the wonderful stitches.

Not quite the same as thinking you’ve got something wrong but finding it’s something different. But still on the embarrassing side.

Had a mole on my hand that I'd never noticed before. It was starting to itch and was a bit concerning so made an appointment to get it dealt with. Had to send in photos and measurements before hand so only spoke on the phone or sent texts before an actual face to face appointment. Doctors agreed it needed to be removed. Day before the appointment, the "mole" fell off. I'd completely forgotten I'd got hot glue from a glue gun on myself a few weeks before and the "mole" was, in fact, a scab.

All the tampon stories, glad to know i'm not alone. Someone previously asked how it happens and honestly i have no idea how i forgot it was there! I'm not even a regular tampon user as i usually find them uncomfortable.

In my case i was sleeping in a toddler bed (lower than normal) and was trying to make my escape. I'd got to the position where i was sitting on the edge of the bed and it must of been something about the angle in that position but i suddenly felt something. Had a feel and pulled out an old tampon! It didn't even smell until i'd taken it out. I have PCOS and at that time maybe only had a period every 3 months or so, i have no idea how long it was there but i couldn't even remember my previous period so it was a long time!

🤣🤣🤣

Don’t worry, it happens
i am an ANP and saw a young man with a black rash who had been directed to our service by a pharmacist. Amazingly the black rash wiped off with a wet wipe. The give away clue was the rash stopped where his t shirt sleeves started, and his wet black coat was hung on the back of his chair
poor lad he was mortified whereas I was a bit concerned about the pharmacist who said he must attend 🤣🤣

I passed a really weird worm from my bum, I was pg so a bit more worried than usual. Trotted off to the GP with said worm in a tupperware.
GP looked at it for a bit and then called in a colleague for a 2nd opinion.
It was a beansprout

Not an embarassing encounter but might amuse.
Just before my 5th birthday, 1952, I was rushed into hospital with severe appendicitis and operated on the same day.
I was in for several days. One day a nurse took me to a room where I was put on a bed. I asked what they were doing. "Taking a photograph," they said. "Oh," said 4 year old me. Will my Mummy want one?" They laughed and said they didn't think so.
Back then people didn't have cameras as they do now, so a photo was quite an event. But even so, I don't think Mum would have wanted an x-ray of my (ex)appendix.

I was having a neuro exam getting my epilepsy diagnosed. I was trying to follow some fairly quick fire instructions - moving my tongue this way and that. I ended up misunderstanding and trying to lick the doctors glove - I’m still not entirely sure what I was meant to be doing!

What makes this worse is I work as…

…. a nurse.

Many years ago in my mid twenties my BF at the time found he had genital warts so I booked myself into the clap clinic to get checked out. The person checking me in said they had a student there and would it be ok if he observed my appointment. I said that was fine. Went into the room and they put me on a kind of Y shaped dentist chair, raised me up so that my fanjo was staring back at them at eye level. But the worst bit was the student was about my age, and hot as fuck. I’m sure usually this appointment wouldn’t take long but it felt like hours I was in that chair, whilst the doctor and his student foraged around my flaps in the greatest of depth, with the doctor describing in medical language exactly what he was seeing. I really should have said no to the student, and no I didn’t have warts. They’d have definitely found them if I did 😂

I’d not long had my twins and was absolutely knackered, no time for myself etc etc. Anyway I was worried about the skin on my lower legs as it just didn’t look right so I went to the GP. She took one look at them and said ‘you just need to moisturise them, it’s dry skin!’ I have NEVER felt so stupid and embarrassed ever 🤦‍♀️

Went to GP for breast examination when I found several (thankfully benign) lumps. After he'd finished the emanation, he said "you do have very lovely breasts". I said "thanks" - too shocked to say anything else. I'm deaf in one ear, and I wasn't wearing my hearing aid. It transpires he'd not complemented my "very lovely breasts", but had said I had "very lumpy breasts". Oh the shame...

That reminds me a bit of when I had a scan done of my brain. I went to see the neurologist to get the results and she had her computer on, with a picture of a brain on it. I thought vaguely "Oh, wow, she has a brain as a screensaver, I suppose as a neurologist she must be really into brains." Of course, it turned out to be my brain which she had loaded up to talk me through the scan images 😊

🤢

If he enjoyed doing that which I highly doubt he did then I hope he isn’t a doctor any longer.

Went for an ultrasound/transvaginal scan for ovarian cysts, appointment was 8am and I needed to drink an hour before but wasn’t up in time so just held my wee. Was desperate for my routine morning poop which she could blatantly see on the scan when she mentioned how much I must have needed the toilet 😂😂😂

Not long after full covid lockdown, and I didn't drink alcohol during lockdown for some reason (relevant) I had to go in for a minor procedure but it was under GA and had to stay overnight.

There were 3 other women in the bay, 1 was an older long stay patient and the other 2 were getting the same minor procedure done.

We were all VERY EXCITED to be talking to new people and had a fantastic morning chatting away and laughing.

When we came back from surgery it was like being drunker than any of us had ever been before, we couldn't stop telling more and more embarrassing tales, exploding with laughter then shouting "Sorry Maureen" at the poor woman who wasn't doped up to the eyeballs.

We also had these expanding balloon things on our legs (possibly BP monitors) which kept going off, one of us would start crying OMG they took my legs, I didn't come here to lose my legs. Then the balloon would deflate....and 5 mins later patient 2 would start it all over again. Then patient 3, vary constantly ALL night long!

In between cackling laughter, then sobbing our legs had been stolen.

It turned out to be the best night out I'd had in 18 months.

But so embarrassing when I realised I'd been crying that Forrest Gump loved Lieutenant Dan and would anyone love me the same.....and poor sober Maureen had to calm 3 hysterical women down all night, while they verged between despair and off the wall excitement.