Page 20 | Embarrassing Doctor Stories

OooSorryDoctor · 2024-06-04T19:55:27+00:00

Lighthearted….. I went for a 4 mile walk the other week (5 weeks postpartum and not 100% my idea) and could barely walk the next day. Cue painkillers and a day in bed, until a mysterious rash appeared in the exact spot my knee was throbbing. Husband was concerned and said he’d never seen a rash like it, so better submit a picture to our local GP practice. Long story short they called me in for an urgent appointment and within seconds I was diagnosed with a heat rash from using a hot water bottle 😆 cue a very embarrassed me apologizing for wasting her time 🙈🙈 Make me feel less embarrassed, what’s your best facepalm doctor story?

Unicornhat · 06/06/2024 20:15

orangeleopard · 04/06/2024 22:31

I had just had a C-section and was having my catheter put in or removed (I cannot remember). I was having it under gas and air and because I’d just had a section, I was all over the place and I couldn’t control myself and I couldn’t stop farting. It was loud too. If you can imagine the position the drs and nurses were in, and imagine recurring loud and smelly farts😭. I was so embarrassed and kept apologising and in the end the nurse shouted ‘stop farting’ so loud, I’m sure the entire ward heard. I was humiliated that I was doing it and these poor people were just doing their jobs but I couldn’t help what my body was doing.

You poor thing! I couldn't walk after my section I had so much pain down to trapped wind - better let it out! Nurse shouldn't have said that, your body had been thorough enough!

idkbroidk · 06/06/2024 20:22

Mountainpika · 06/06/2024 19:14

Not an embarassing encounter but might amuse.
Just before my 5th birthday, 1952, I was rushed into hospital with severe appendicitis and operated on the same day.
I was in for several days. One day a nurse took me to a room where I was put on a bed. I asked what they were doing. "Taking a photograph," they said. "Oh," said 4 year old me. Will my Mummy want one?" They laughed and said they didn't think so.
Back then people didn't have cameras as they do now, so a photo was quite an event. But even so, I don't think Mum would have wanted an x-ray of my (ex)appendix.

that is SO adorable :)

LittleVoice11 · 06/06/2024 20:35

I was a makeup artist working in retail at the time and had a lesson booked in. The customer was lovely, we chatted while I was guiding her with the products and had such a great time playing with the makeup, creating a look etc.
A couple of days later I walked in to my doctors surgery for a routine smear test and guess who was doing it 😂

Ladymuck2022 · 06/06/2024 20:40

I recently saw ultrasound scan results for women’s problems both years apart which read full of bowel gas so basically nhs as it is was every time unable to see anything. How the GP’s didn’t die of laughter beyond me. No wonder they didn’t / couldn’t bring themselves to show me.

one of the funniest things I read on here has to be when someone’s boss didn’t take the upcoming colonoscopy prep seriously.

FootieMama · 06/06/2024 20:41

Believing that I had lost a tampon in my vagina went to urgent care. Turn out there was no tampon, I probably had take it off when went to the toilet during night and forgot to replace it conincendantly my periods stopped. Male doctors spent a few rummaging down there and said. Nope, there is nothing here😳
In my defence I was suffering with ridiculous heavy and long periods and was taking tablets to stop the flow. So was in the habit of getting up at night to replace or risk a murder scene on my mattress in the morning

Bloom15 · 06/06/2024 20:47

LouLou789 · 05/06/2024 09:22

Another smear test story. I am in my 60s and had a fair few over the years.

The nurse examined me and poked around rather a lot and then informed me I hadn’t got a cervix.
Me: I definitely have
Nurse: Do you have children? (Nod) And did you give birth vaginally? (Nod) Well you definitely don’t have one now.
Me: I do think I might have noticed if it had fallen out into my pants.

More poking and peering until she finally announced she had spotted it. I know they can tilt backwards but surely not that unusual?

😂😂

moonseas · 06/06/2024 20:55

A few years ago I went to the doctor for some forgotten issue, but also mentioned something I was a little concerned with. I pulled down my jeggings and showed her… my legs were turning blue!

She was as concerned as me; she scheduled a blood test for the week after and talked me through some possible other tests I might need.

Went home and later that night, I was staring at my indigo thighs in the mirror when I had a horrifying thought. I rubbed hard at my skin and…. It came off.

My cheap Matalan jeggings had slowly and cheerfully been dying my thighs blue over the past few weeks and it tricked not just me but a medical professional.

I phoned the surgery the next day to quietly cancel my upcoming blood test.

I still wear cheap jeggings but now I know why my legs go blue!

HereComesColinFrissel · 06/06/2024 21:08

Pre children, I had the contraceptive implant. On having it removed I was seen by a young Dr, who had a reputation for being a little incompetent at that particularly surgery.
He asked me to lie on the bed with my arm above my head so with my young 20 something sense of humour (and nerves!) I decided to blurt out "Jack, are you going to paint me like one of your French girls?"
He went beetroot from the neck up 🤣

Summertimeinschool · 06/06/2024 21:14

I projectile vomited after having a blood test. It now says LIE DOWN FOR NEEDLES or something like that on my notes when I go for a gp appointment. Mortified.

gottogonow · 06/06/2024 21:21

This thread is just the best, I keep breaking into giggles. I am scared I will never be able to sit sensibly in a dentist’s chair again and the pan pipes keeps getting me going, excellent stuff!

HappyHen17 · 06/06/2024 21:29

When I was in my late teens and family planning nurse was telling me about different contraceptives and we discussed the cap, she talked me through it all and then she was talking me through how to insert it, she told me to crouch on the floor and push it in with my fingers which I did, she asked if I could feel it and I told her she hadn’t actually given it to me!! I don’t know who was more mortified, her for getting me to do an invasive pointless demo or me for having done it because I was told to!! It was not a great day and I didn’t use the cap!

Zentherapist · 06/06/2024 21:29

My partner went for a ultrasound on his ball because he had a lump, when we was on the couch the lady that was scanning him squirted some gel in his hand, he rubbed it over his private parts she then goes “that was hand sanitiser for your hands” he felt the burn by then!

ANiceBigCupOfTea · 06/06/2024 21:30

When I was 20, I was on the pill and I'd mentioned to my doctor I had some pain in one of my legs. Because I was on the pill they were concerned it could be a blood clot so they told me to go straight to A and E if the feeling came back.
So I dutifully want next time I felt it, and a lovely very good looking young doctor examined me and it was....shin splints as I'd started running in the past weeks 😂 mortified.

Theuniversaluseofloafers · 06/06/2024 21:35

butterpuffed · 05/06/2024 08:27

This is similar but I was embarrassed on behalf of the doctor who kept pronouncing my tablets as Clop~i~DOG~rel . They're pronounced Clo~PID~ogrel . I got the giggles and he asked if I was nervous
😄

Show quote history

I had exactly this, but the receptionist. “Cloppy dogrel” instead of clo PEE da grel as the doctor says it… although it seems like you and my doctor also pronounce it slightly differently- in any case it’s cloppydogrel in my house now!

DinosInTheKitchen · 06/06/2024 22:04

MissL21 · 05/06/2024 08:23

Well, I was 39 weeks pregnant. Was absolutely so fed up of being pregnant and was up for anything to get baby out! DP and I got down to business.... and oh my days, the amount of fluid that appeared, absolutely soaked the bed .we thought my waters had broke... we debated phoning for a few hours, waited to see if anything happened. Nothing did, so we then panicked that if they had, baby is at risk of infection. I phoned the midwives... FF a few hours, turns out 'sexual fluid' can increase hugely at the end of pregnancy. Luckily I had a good relationship with my midwife and we had some great banter about it but my god, I wanted the ground to swallow me there and then!

Same thing happened to me - having spent a couple of hours at the assessment unit and being examined I was absolutely mortified when they told me 🙈

Jeannie88 · 06/06/2024 22:18

My 4 year old had had stomach ache for a few days and on the 3rd day crying in pain. After trying our best to help we managed to book an appt. While waiting he let out the most humongous and smelly loud fart, looked at me, laughed and said he feels fine now! We were called in, I apologised as I didn't want to waste the Doctor's time, he was understanding while laughing and prescribed something to help with trapped wind if it happened again. You live and learn eh. Xx

Hagpie · 06/06/2024 22:31

orangeleopard · 04/06/2024 22:31

I had just had a C-section and was having my catheter put in or removed (I cannot remember). I was having it under gas and air and because I’d just had a section, I was all over the place and I couldn’t control myself and I couldn’t stop farting. It was loud too. If you can imagine the position the drs and nurses were in, and imagine recurring loud and smelly farts😭. I was so embarrassed and kept apologising and in the end the nurse shouted ‘stop farting’ so loud, I’m sure the entire ward heard. I was humiliated that I was doing it and these poor people were just doing their jobs but I couldn’t help what my body was doing.

WHAT? That is so normal! I had to spend a couple nights in hospital after my baby was born and they put in with all the c-section mamas. A nurse casually told me what to expect on our way up and I bet it was hugely relieving for the lovely ladies! Her reaction is the embarrassing thing, not you!

Pigwig10 · 06/06/2024 22:36

Cmonthetampons · 04/06/2024 21:18

I was in for a routine smear. Did the usual preamble questions... when was my last period... about 10 days before.

Started the smear, she's having a good look and wiggling the speculum around and says "I think there's a tampon in there... has that been there for 10 days." FML. Off she went to find something to remove it with while I lay there and died.

Oh Good god…similar happened to me, except it was a condom. I just about died!!! 😬

Hihellogoodbye · 06/06/2024 22:38

orangeleopard · 04/06/2024 22:31

I had just had a C-section and was having my catheter put in or removed (I cannot remember). I was having it under gas and air and because I’d just had a section, I was all over the place and I couldn’t control myself and I couldn’t stop farting. It was loud too. If you can imagine the position the drs and nurses were in, and imagine recurring loud and smelly farts😭. I was so embarrassed and kept apologising and in the end the nurse shouted ‘stop farting’ so loud, I’m sure the entire ward heard. I was humiliated that I was doing it and these poor people were just doing their jobs but I couldn’t help what my body was doing.

Omg I laughed with tears reading this

ThaliaLuxurySpa · 06/06/2024 23:01

LeopardsRockingham · 06/06/2024 20:14

Not long after full covid lockdown, and I didn't drink alcohol during lockdown for some reason (relevant) I had to go in for a minor procedure but it was under GA and had to stay overnight.

There were 3 other women in the bay, 1 was an older long stay patient and the other 2 were getting the same minor procedure done.

We were all VERY EXCITED to be talking to new people and had a fantastic morning chatting away and laughing.

When we came back from surgery it was like being drunker than any of us had ever been before, we couldn't stop telling more and more embarrassing tales, exploding with laughter then shouting "Sorry Maureen" at the poor woman who wasn't doped up to the eyeballs.

We also had these expanding balloon things on our legs (possibly BP monitors) which kept going off, one of us would start crying OMG they took my legs, I didn't come here to lose my legs. Then the balloon would deflate....and 5 mins later patient 2 would start it all over again. Then patient 3, vary constantly ALL night long!

In between cackling laughter, then sobbing our legs had been stolen.

It turned out to be the best night out I'd had in 18 months.

But so embarrassing when I realised I'd been crying that Forrest Gump loved Lieutenant Dan and would anyone love me the same.....and poor sober Maureen had to calm 3 hysterical women down all night, while they verged between despair and off the wall excitement.

Brilliant! Can just picture the scene. Poor old Maureen 😊

ShadesofPoachedSmoke · 06/06/2024 23:29

Curlygirl06 · 04/06/2024 22:47

After I had my twins via cs, I was bed bound for a day or so and when I had my first shower the midwife told me to keep an eye out for blood clots, as I'd not been upright for a while. I was having a shower and to be fair I didn't have my glasses on. I looked down and there was a massive big red lump in the shower tray. I called the midwife, she got her gloves and carefully picked the lump up, only to discover it was my strawberry soap that I'd dropped and hasn't realised.

This made me laugh!

ShadesofPoachedSmoke · 06/06/2024 23:32

HollyKnight · 05/06/2024 02:08

When I was a young teen, I found a lump behind my ear. I freaked out. Showed my mum, she felt it too. She freaked out. She took me to the GP right away, both of us convinced it was a tumour. The doctor felt the lump. Looked at me. Then took my hand, raised it to touch behind the other ear, and said, "That's your skull."

Omg that's brilliant

Needtofixmyageingskin · 06/06/2024 23:33

litlleseahorse · 05/06/2024 05:41

When my kids were toddlers and at nursery (I was in my 30s) we were all constantly getting ill- it was a relentless round of colds, flu, throat infections etc After my 4th or 5th cold in a row I started to develop what I thought was an ear infection, it was really painful. I couldn't face another round of anti biotics as they cause upset stomach and I saw on social media that if you put a clove of garlic in your ear it would cure an ear infection and was a natural remedy for infection. So I did. Unfortunately, I promptly fell asleep and it fell into my ear canal. It was agony.

I rang my GP and after some suppressed mirth, she told me to go to A&E. When I got there I told the receptionist in a quiet voice that I had garlic in my ear. She looked puzzled and repeated in a loud bemused voice "you have GARLIC in your ear????" causing everyone in the waiting room to look up in interest. I said yes and then had to wait for 2 hours whilst everyone stared at me as if I was mad. Finally, they called me through to be seen by a doctor- they told me I would be seen by a paediatrician as they had the necessary equipment for removing things from ears. I was then ushered through to the children's department, had to lay on a bed surrounded by Mickey Mouse pictures whilst the doctor suctioned it out of my ear. The doctor could barely contain his laughter. I have never been so embarrassed in my entire life and I do wonder what on earth they wrote on my medical records to this day.

This had me laughing out loud 😂

ShadesofPoachedSmoke · 06/06/2024 23:38

raspberryberet7 · 05/06/2024 07:10

I discovered what looked like a small brown lump on my nipple when undressing for shower. I threw my clothes back on and raced to go and demanded an emergency appointment. The gp pointed out the lump was in fact a coco pop 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Nooooooooo now that is embarrassing.

ShadesofPoachedSmoke · 07/06/2024 00:08

Thankfully the nursery staff told me my baby son had eaten a bit of purple crayon when I collected him, otherwise I would have had a VERY nasty shock at nappy change time!

DH freaked out at one nappy change and was all ready to rush baby DC to the doctors instantly - until I asked what was wrong and then reminded him that DC had enjoyed a lovely blueberry pudding at lunch that day. So no need to panic over the colour of the poo!