Spending my life savings on a total dump

[Amycakes]

I'm 38 and have been saving for a house deposit for 16 years, since I left uni. I've sacrificed holidays, parties, weddings, hobbies, other opportunities and even friends to prioritise saving for somewhere to live. Me and my partner need to move out of our rented flat soon and we've started looking at finally buying.

We've viewed 10 places now and they've all been really horrible. I'm completely disheartened. The houses within our budget are in worse condition than any dive I've ever rented. We do not have, and will never have, thousands for getting rid of damp or asbestos, or doing the major renovations these properties need. Properties in our budget are also in quite rough areas, miles from anywhere, no services, no public transport. A lot of them have been on the market for ages, they can't sell. I love cycling, and bike everywhere, but I'd have to give that up entirely. We're looking in undesirable commuter belt areas that are 'cheap' but we would be miles away from friends and family. Also far away from train stations so my commute will be about 3 hours round trip (2-3 days a week). But I don't think I can face being so isolated and car dependent? We were hoping to have a child but I can't see us comfortably raising a baby in any of the houses or places within budget.

The whole thing is just so depressing. Is this normal for FTBs? I wonder if it's even worth buying at all and if we should just blow our deposit money on travelling or something, stay renting a flat, and forget having a family.

Yes this! For £450k you’ll get a really good 3 bed for that budget, with a train line that goes to Waterloo. Nice areas too and great for families.

Thanks yes this exactly. We're quite keen to see houses previously lived in by elderly people that have ugly carpets, 80s kitchens etc etc. Easily rectified and fairly straightforward to DIY.

Just don't want to deal with rising damp, asbestos, drainage problems, structural issues, total rewiring etc. Don't want to knock down walls or need any form of serious building work.

This. You could find a flat that includes a share of the freehold so that you have some control. It's not necessarily a forever home solution, though plenty of people do live in flats with their children. See it as a stepping stone.

PO have you considered Havant Hampshire? It is near the coast, with a main line train station, direct trains to Waterloo and Brighton. I have often caught the train to Gatwick (on the Victoria line) then changed trains for a train to London Bridge.
https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/143204831#/?channel=RES_BUY

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/148315442#/?channel=RES_BUY

Thornton Heath

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/143356502#/?channel=RES_BUY
Croydon
Both around 50 mins to Waterloo

Agree with pp that if you want a baby, prioritise that and start a family in rented accommodation.

Keep looking, keep persevering. It's rubbish, I agree.

What is your budget and where? Has your partner saved too and will you guys together?

I don’t know if that’s great advice - taking time off for maternity leave and possibly going back part time as a lot of women do could affect the amount that OP and her husband can borrow.

Get a life

Yes and lots which don’t need much work either.

Not Edenbridge lol

But Tonbridge Tunbridge wells Hildenborough all nice

Sev be too costly for you

The house I linked above is nice and in budget and good area

look at South Norwood. In budget, many flats have gardens, 12 min train to LDN bridge and tonnes of green nearby.

Brookwood is 37 mins to Waterloo and has some nice houses within budget within 1.5 miles of the station

also have a look at Woking - 25 mins to Waterloo - lots of options in budget as well

If your thinking of Surrey how about chessington .. just seen lovely little 2 bed houses for your budget

Definitely look at Horsham. Lovely market town which is super family friendly with great schools. Well located for Brighton and London.

Something like this which is on a nice road, well located for the town and the station, in catchment for a good school, is very nicely done and has three beds plus an office in the loft.

This kind of thing is exactly what we're looking for really. Older property, decent condition, looks like really good living space for living and home working. Thank you! Do you live in Horsham?

Avoid Wokingham. It’s freakishly expensive, especially compared to neighbouring Reading and Bracknell.

We have friends in Burgess Hill, he works in London, commutes by train ok, the towns not great but has potential if the council get off their arse and sort it out.

We’ve completely renovated twice, buying our first house at 24. With both houses we did big extensions and loft conversions . We were mortgage free by 35/36. However my husband is a carpenter and my dad an electrician so we never had to pay for any labour. So for me buying places that needed a lot of work never fazed me. I don’t think I could do it if we didn’t have at least some spare money to get the big jobs done though .

I'm really sorry that you've saved so hard and your options are still disappointing. I wouldn't blow it all, that's your safety net and hard work. Hope you do find a suitable place, even if you have to rent another year. Or, if you end up still renting, invest it. Maybe treat yourself to a nice dinner though.

That's all very true, but whilst lots of women do successfully get pregnant at 39 and beyond, lots don't. Declining fertility rates are real - as is the fact that it generally takes longer to get pregnant the older you are. And of course if she happens to have my fertility issues she doesn't know about, the success rates for IVF get worse as time goes on.

Not being able to get a big enough mortgage if she has a child now is a big risk. But not having a child if she waits too long is also a real risk. And of course it's easy to counter this with individual experiences of people getting pregnant easily after 38 - but OP has no idea if she will be one of them.

You’ll easily get a flat in north / north east London for that budget. Abraham & Warner (I think those are the right names) are purpose built period flats with gardens in Leyton / Walthamstow, which are in Waltham Forest borough, which is keen on cycling. If you’re set against leasehold, try and find something with a share of the freehold - or save up later and buy the freehold with your neighbours.

As PP have said, if you want a family, start now because if you wait until you’ve bought somewhere, it may never happen.

You need to broaden your search area, I'm a 45/50m commute to Marylebone, 450k would.get you a 4 bed house with a study and garden. Beautiful villages, plenty of local amenities (we are 20 mins to Oxford)

Yes, houses are in a shocking state. The over 50s of today don't seem to look after their homes at all, unlike their parents who were so diligent! We're looking around the £550k mark and most of them need so much work doing, plus they're filthy.

Guildford? Right by the station, central for town, great school catchment, easy access to brilliant cycling. Lots of potential. You wouldn’t even necessarily need a car for this place.

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/148634102#/?channel=RESBUY

I've just done a rightmove search and there seem to be lots that fill the bill down towards Bromley/Eltham/Mottingham/Sidcup/Cray. The commutes aren't bad and there are lovely areas around there too, with lots of young families. The search parameters were within 2 miles of Grove Park - plenty of options. Good luck!

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/147923003#/?channel=RES_BUY

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/148528748#/?channel=RES_BUY