Spending my life savings on a total dump

[Amycakes]

I'm 38 and have been saving for a house deposit for 16 years, since I left uni. I've sacrificed holidays, parties, weddings, hobbies, other opportunities and even friends to prioritise saving for somewhere to live. Me and my partner need to move out of our rented flat soon and we've started looking at finally buying.

We've viewed 10 places now and they've all been really horrible. I'm completely disheartened. The houses within our budget are in worse condition than any dive I've ever rented. We do not have, and will never have, thousands for getting rid of damp or asbestos, or doing the major renovations these properties need. Properties in our budget are also in quite rough areas, miles from anywhere, no services, no public transport. A lot of them have been on the market for ages, they can't sell. I love cycling, and bike everywhere, but I'd have to give that up entirely. We're looking in undesirable commuter belt areas that are 'cheap' but we would be miles away from friends and family. Also far away from train stations so my commute will be about 3 hours round trip (2-3 days a week). But I don't think I can face being so isolated and car dependent? We were hoping to have a child but I can't see us comfortably raising a baby in any of the houses or places within budget.

The whole thing is just so depressing. Is this normal for FTBs? I wonder if it's even worth buying at all and if we should just blow our deposit money on travelling or something, stay renting a flat, and forget having a family.

You can ABSOLUTELY have children while renting. This bizarre notion that owning a property is a pre-requisite to having a family is so warped, and really shows just how unreasonably high our expectations have become in the West. Most of my friends, who are very successful, were raised in rented accommodation, with multiple siblings. My husband is one of 7 and grew up in a rented flat, and he's a senior engineer on a very high salary. Of course, the stability of raising a child in a house you own is the ideal, but as long as you can guarantee they will have a roof over their head, they'll be fine.

What's wrong with a flat? I get avoiding shared ownerships but all flats? I grew up in a flat, many many kids especially in London grow up in flats!

OP I've had two leaseholds
The one I lived in for 15 years was fine.

The one I live in now is not so good but to be fair, nothing's actually happened yet except the mgmt company could be better.

It sounds like you know your stuff so will know which leases to avoid.

It's better than what you are looking at now surely? There's couples with kids in 2 bed flats here, it's near a big green space.

If you’re avoiding flats and you’re a first time buyer then no wonder you can’t afford anywhere! As per previous posts what’s the budget/area and deposit?

Post budget and areas you're looking

We are brilliant at finding good ones on Mumsnet

This is completely normal OP. Thing is, we're now first time buyers heading into our 40s so living in squalid back to backs doesn't seem quite so fun as it did when we were buying in our 20s with a view to improving it and moving up within 5 years.
Sucks to be a millennial, could be worse tho', you could have been born 15 years later.

Don't blow your money. But have a long hard look at whether it's actually worth buying in your area given the relationship to typical rent. The price to rent ratio is a tool molten used internationally to assess this. If you're in a middling rent- high house price area you might be better off sticking your savings in global stock funds that are also appreciating assets. Yes, you'll still pay rent, hence "lost" money, but so are interest payments on mortgage combined with no dividends.

https://www.investopedia.com/terms/p/price-to-rent-ratio.asp

I think you’re making a bit of a sweeping generalisation about leasehold. It completely depends who the freeholder is. In zone one most people live in flats and most of them are some sort of leasehold. I live in one myself and it’s fine.

Most first time buyers aren't trying to buy family homes.

They buy flats.

If you say your budget and ares people will be able to advise

Thanks so much for your replies, advice and suggestions, really appreciated.

Our budget is £450k. We're looking for a 2-3 bed with a little garden, maybe big enough to have an office shed. Ideally would like to live somewhere walkable, runnable and cyclable. Few basic shops/services nearby. I work fairly central in London, DP ideally needs access to London Bridge or Waterloo. DP's family are all in Surrey, my family are in the Brighton area. But we're quite open to areas across the South East. We've been looking for about 3 months so far.

Also, just to clarify, we're not expecting to move into a showroom, we're totally happy to do some work over time! Modernising the place, new kitchen, bathrooms etc. I like DIY. But realistically don't have the money or time to deal with big projects. Especially as we'd need to get going with having a baby quite soon considering my age. I'd just like to feel excited about a home we're moving into, rather than huge amounts of dread and anxiety over all the work that needs doing.

That's a really healthy budget. Where have you been looking ?

www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/148683479

2 Bed Semi with garden in Haywards Heath, decent road, £400K.
Direct to London Bridge and your family in Brighton. Easy enough to Surrey to his family.

Thanks @Testina We hadn't been looking quite as far south as Haywards Heath but will look into the area.

I live in Basingstoke. Commute to London takes 45 minutes. For £450k you could buy a really lovely 3 bed detached house in a nice area. There's lots of cycle paths so easy to cycle to the station. It's definitely not the most exciting place on earth but it's ok and surrounded by lovely countryside. The areas you'd be looking at for your budget are full of young families and the primary schools are good (secondaries not so much but that's way off!)

If you can borrow from parents try to get a better house and keep a lodger or two in spare room.
Baby will not need it for the next 3 years. It can just sleep in a cot in your room.
Even as older you can keep itin the same room if it is big enough

I was with you until you said £450k. There are a shit ton of houses for that price in the south east. A shit ton. My house is a 3 bed terraced in north Hants, is lovely and has a fab garden and is valued at £375k. 38 min commute to Waterloo. Come on OP, put a bit of effort in.

It sounds like you’re despairing as you really haven’t widened your search enough then!
It not further to central London than the 3 hours round trip you already mentioned, and it’s close to family which you said you weren’t in your search.

Sounds like you need to throw your net wider!

Very much not. I wouldn't put my worst enemy in the sort of home the council would pay for.

For this budget you’re better off being in London rather than the commuter belt - you could get a really decent 2 possibly 3 bed flat in a period conversion with a garden in south east London. Commuting would be much shorter and cheaper and you’d be near all the amenities you want with Thameslink and southern trains on the doorstep to take you to Surrey or Brighton.

Sounds like you need to broaden your search op

450k is really decent but you can't expect Canary wharf!

Birmingham, you would have easy access to London central and with the money you save you will hVe no problem with transport fees.

£450,000!

Are you one of these people who classifies redecorating as major renovation? You mentioned major renovation in your first post and I was suspicious.

And as a first time buyer, you want a garden big enough for an office?!

I recently had someone I know tell me that she was offering £40,000 less than asking on a probate property because it "needs to be completely redone" in her view.

Turns out, she just means it needs to be redecorated. I actually have seen the inside of the house in question! because the deceased was a friend of my mother's.

There is absolutely nothing "urgent" to do about it. It is just a redecoration. It does not need to cost anything like £40,000. Obviously she got laughed away and the property has now sold for asking price. (We know the deceased's children too).

I mean if you've got that amount of money - great, you can buy something lovely with that.

What a strange thread.

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/140665067

might be able to get a garden room shed thing in

We had a budget similar to yours 10 years ago and still work in the same area, outcome of our research was the same. We didn't want a flat too. Realising our plight, realities of the market vs our life objectives, we took the plunge and moved to Kent (no family here). We now have a gorgeous 4 bedroom Georgian house with a large garden, where Churchill used to come for war committees, btw. The commute is 50mins one direct train to London Bridge though and expensive (thank God we now can WFH 💯 but it wasn't so for the first 3 years). It did mean that I had to start driving immediately, only 3 months after passing my test too (bum twitch for the first few years). Overall, access to nature, great schools and a fantastic house to retire in at the end of the day was absolutely worth it. London wouldn't offer it to us. I sometimes still pinch myself. The downsides are the less eclectic crowd of people live here and the restaurants/ takeouts are still shit compared to London. But you can feel the change is coming;)