Spending my life savings on a total dump

[Amycakes]

I'm 38 and have been saving for a house deposit for 16 years, since I left uni. I've sacrificed holidays, parties, weddings, hobbies, other opportunities and even friends to prioritise saving for somewhere to live. Me and my partner need to move out of our rented flat soon and we've started looking at finally buying.

We've viewed 10 places now and they've all been really horrible. I'm completely disheartened. The houses within our budget are in worse condition than any dive I've ever rented. We do not have, and will never have, thousands for getting rid of damp or asbestos, or doing the major renovations these properties need. Properties in our budget are also in quite rough areas, miles from anywhere, no services, no public transport. A lot of them have been on the market for ages, they can't sell. I love cycling, and bike everywhere, but I'd have to give that up entirely. We're looking in undesirable commuter belt areas that are 'cheap' but we would be miles away from friends and family. Also far away from train stations so my commute will be about 3 hours round trip (2-3 days a week). But I don't think I can face being so isolated and car dependent? We were hoping to have a child but I can't see us comfortably raising a baby in any of the houses or places within budget.

The whole thing is just so depressing. Is this normal for FTBs? I wonder if it's even worth buying at all and if we should just blow our deposit money on travelling or something, stay renting a flat, and forget having a family.

How about Reading? Great schools, and easy into and across London.. especially with the Lizzy line. Perhaps a bit too far west for you though. https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/148597292#/?channel=RES_BUY

Quite a few options with quick train journeys to central London

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/145149791

Ruling out all leaseholds and all flats in commuter belt is very restrictive!

Leasehold is fine, as long as it's at least 100 years left on it. I just bought the leasehold for my flat so now it is 999 years

Same with flats: flats are a good option , if you cannot afford a whole house.

We lived in a 2 bed flat with 2 kids until they were 8 and 10 and it was fine

Don't buy something grotty just open your mind a bit more

Done a quick search. Found this
https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/147048440

i think you’re being a bit ridiculous to say there’s nothing

Burgess Hill is cheaper than HH and very nice.

www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/144530822

Lots of houses in this area for your budget. Close to Zone 4 stations into LB and Waterloo. Not the most exciting areas but safe, green and easy to get to town or the country/coast. Good schools and reasonable High st at Sidcup or Eltham.

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/148285727#/?channel=RES_BUY

This house is amazing. Really close to me. Yes, it needs a new kitchen and bathroom but it's 10 minutes walk to Blackheath station (goes into Waterloo, London Bridge, Charing Cross in 18 minutes)

And same distance to the Heath and Greenwich park

I'm seriously considering it myself

Good grief OP 450k!!!!!

I'm afraid you are suffering from a case of Unrealistic Expectations. All you need to do is compromise and widen your search outside London or downgrade your Wants.

Get a structurally sound house in a decent area, be prepared to commute, and do it up bit by bit over time.

I live in Southampton. 10 minute bus to the station and 1hr 20mins into Waterloo. LOADS of people do that daily commute. Our 2 bed terrace is worth 200k.

You can find somewhere, just adjust your expectations to be realistic.

You could even live in Brighton and commute with that budget (depending on where in London you need to get to)

Isn't it best to make sure you own 100% share of the flat before selling on? Surely then it becomes a stepping stone to your next property.

Do you want kids? Because if so at 38 you haven't really got time to wait til you've completed on a house................

If you have family in Surrey, come to SW London! Check out Sutton, plenty in your price range like this: www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/148123745

Hi OP, have you looked at new builds? Or are you purely looking at older houses?

@Amycakes

Ascot.
Direct line to Waterloo and edge of Surrey and has 'kudos' and great schools for the future. You'd pick up a house for 450.

According to lots of mums netters you could probably pack in work/cut hours and get on the benefits system. I would investigate that - you will almost certainly be better off when you have young children and possibly even if you don't have them.

It's shit but at least you won't be one of the mugs subsidising everyone else.

Some of the houses people have linked to are really lovely.

I was also going to suggest Haywards Heath or anywhere on the Thameslink

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/148597433#/?channel=RES_BUY

Look carefully at the trainlines to work out your commute time and then pick somewhere with a good train station.

Do you have to stay in the South East?

I often wonder what in earth I’m doing here when I could have a much better life living elsewhere but tied to where I live til the kids have left home

Hey OP. Try Manningtree or Mistley. Very affordable housing, relatively easy commute to London. Check this one out for example www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/146515919
Very close to Colchester too.

i find the aversion to buying a flat rather odd, especially if in London. I had 3 flats (zone 2, zone 3 then zone 1) before moving into a house. I’d go for share of freehold + leasehold instead of leasehold alone, but there are plenty around. In less central London you can get a maisonette share of freehold with garden too.

personally I’d buy before starting a family. If you take time out you won’t be able to get the same mortgage and will then have the whammy of reduced earnings+rent+childcare.

That's a fab budget and if happy south east then this looks lovely

www.zoopla.co.uk/for-sale/details/67463824/

Equally 38 and if you went kids then need to starting seriously thinking about ttc even when. Renting

Thanks @kalokagathos what areas in Kent should I be looking at? We viewed a house in Edenbridge, wasn't sure about the town, seemed a bit sad and a bit cut off.

I would agree this is a very good buy too.

I recently read a comment here on Mumsnet that said that above a certain age,
a person who does not own his/her own home should not even date. That poster thought that a person who is renting is a burden rather than an asset to a potential new relationship.