Sending nudes?

[Mayis]

Would you? Have you?
Been together for 2 years, no children together. He has recently been asking for a "photo" meaning a nude. Not sure if I should. Do you think he would judge me? May be he is just testing me? Or is it the norm? Acceptable?

Thanks in advance.

No, no NO, NO, NO! NO!NO! Just NO. I have never even let my DH of over 30 years have a nude photo of me. EVER! You'd have to have rocks in your head to let ANYONE have access to a photograph of you naked. Nope. Fuck that!

It doesn't make you 'quirky' and 'edgy' and 'wild' if you send pictures of yourself to a man with no clothes on/posing naked - for his titillation. And it doesn't make you more 'cool' and 'chilled' and 'better' than the posters saying don't do it. AND it makes you look breathtakingly naïve - and immature - if you think that the man you are sending naked pictures to will NEVER share them with anyone, EVER.

As has been said, you don't know WHERE these pictures will end up. The 'oh ha ha mumsnetters don't even have sex' and 'get a grip wots wrong with your boyfriend having a wank over your naked photo' type comments (from several posters) are pathetic and childish.

Relationships break up all the time, and as a pp said, don't be one of those statistics of women who are devastated and angry - and have their lives ruined, when their ex puts their arse and boobs and 'private bits' all over the internet.'

There is NO coming back from this once you are out there all over the internet in a sleazy pose with no clothes on. It's out there forever. Don't do it @Mayis!!! As a pp said, it's grim that a grown man even asks for naked pictures of you. I would expect that of a 14 year old boy. So crass and vulgar and very immature.

And as a few pps have said, I have known a number of men who show their current partner's naked pics to their mates. A man at my friend's DH's place of work, regularly 'shares' his girlfriend's naked pictures. One my friend's DH had sent to him last week, had her naked on the bed with her legs spread. NOTHING was left to the imagination! He was so disgusted that he blocked this man after this pic. Is currently debating whether to tell this woman. I would have told the police quite honestly!

Never send anything you wouldn't want your family, friends and neighbours to see if it got sent on. Face or not, there's likely to be something identifying in shot, eg a duvet cover or curtains.

I 100% trust MrAston never to deliberately show an image I sent him to anyone else, no matter what happens, and I still wouldn't do this!

Once that image is sent, it's a hostage to fortune: careless thumb-presses that share the wrong image to a work whatsapp, someone physically stealing the phone, or data theft...

Less of the animal slurs. Pigs don't behave like pieces of shit 🙄

@MonsteraMama

It's been called trashy and degrading on this tiny little three page thread already, and every time it comes up on here along people come to denigrate the women who do it. Sorry but plenty of people absolutely do hold that view

Yep. And it says more about the people with repressed and sanctimonious views than it does about those who have fun relationships with their DHs

This.

And it says more about the people with repressed and sanctimonious views than it does about those who have fun relationships with their DHs

I think it says a lot about the "cool" posters who judge women who aren't confident enough or trusting enough to be as "cool" and "free spirited" as you are.

Do you really think it is essential to send nudes to have a fun relationship?

There have been a lot of posts on this thread from posters whose ex partners have been posting nudes of them online or showing them around at work, so please bear in mind that many "uncool" women have very good reason not to do this.

I did when I was young and stupid, no faces thankfully. The boyfriend is long gone now, but I cringe thinking he may still have them. I'd not do it now.

So what do you think now @Mayis?

I might have in the early stages of ripping each other's clothes off (no face though) but why now?

If you don't want to, don't. In the fairly early years of a relationship you can end up doing things you later regret, in an effort to impress or keep your partner interested. A partner worth keeping wouldn't want you to do something you're not comfortable with.

Let me tell you about some of the men who I work with.
Most are family men, wouldn’t dream of cheating on their wives. They love their families, do their share of parenting. Thoroughly decent men.
The ones who are single, younger (or older in a couple of cases) are also lovely men.
Most of them will get carried away when the topic of women and sex comes up. Those who have photos (nude or in underwear - one memorably in a cut out bra and pants with her face in view and looking very uncomfortable) will occasionally show everyone. If it’s not show and tell they’ll describe it. It’s done in an almost bragging way.
To be fair not all do this, but going by their personalities, how family oriented they are, there are several whose wives/girlfriends would never suspect they would do this.

(Yes I’ve complained but it’s very much a lad culture here and I otherwise enjoy my job so I’m not willing to rock the boat yet)

Have your fun, but be aware that your photos may well be shown to other people. If you’re happy about that then crack on.
Personally I’ve found working with men, the sort considered to be decent, has been eye opening. I think a genuinely good man is a very rare thing, and men’s biggest cheerleaders, their wives, do not know what their husbands get up to when in a testosterone filled environment.

Not to criticise your choice, but...trust in your husband isn't the only factor here. His device could easily be compromised, or it could back up these photos to a cloud service (even without his knowledge), at which point it's fair game for any number of bulk hacks that happen.

As so many have learned in the past, the only way to be sure such photos will never make their way into the public domain and onto porn sites is not to take them in the first place.

Years back, l used to do life modelling for art classes. I suspect there are a few nude paintings of me at the back of people’s lofts. I doubt l would be recognisable though.

@TheWavey I expect that drainthebath would get a kick out of her nude photos being flashed around the workplace because she has a "fun relationship with her DH"

We’ve been together 10 years and I still do. No faces etc but honestly it’s a fun part of our relationship, I enjoy it, so does he. So long as it’s consensual then do what you want to do.

Why will plenty more people see you naked?

No, even if my husband never ever shared it it is still there and could accidentally get online, so no chance on this planet

I have no desire too anyway and certainly have no desire to see a bit of him I see around the place, I see enough of that at home why would I need to see a photo of it? In case I forget what it looks like?

@TheWavey this is what I have always suspected.

Which is a bit depressing

But I do think you are right.

I think my partner is a "good guy". But I can absolutely believe there is a side to him I don't see.

Thats just one of the reasons I don't send nudes.

I think half of southern France has seen me naked. And plenty more will. No tan lines though 🤫.

Very strange assumption. Says more about you