Sending nudes?

[Mayis]

Would you? Have you?
Been together for 2 years, no children together. He has recently been asking for a "photo" meaning a nude. Not sure if I should. Do you think he would judge me? May be he is just testing me? Or is it the norm? Acceptable?

Thanks in advance.

Nope. I sent one to my, now ex, husband and he thought it would be funny to use it as wallpaper on his phone!

Absolutely fucking not.

Once you've taken that photo, and it's uploaded to another device (ie sent, or backed up), it's no longer under your control - even assuming that the person managing the device(s) at the other end is trustworthy, their security hygiene may not be.

Never, under any circumstances, unless you want to be the next in a long line of people crying about how unfair it is that your nude photos are out there and there's nothing you can do about it.

Send him a picture of a stunning glamour model with the head cropped off and just say you were too shy to show your face 😉

Me too maybe every couple months most recently was me with a dil*o stuck to the mirror he loved it … 😂😂😂😂😂😂

😳

Nope… I grew up in age where nothing was in writing and photos were evidence to resurface at an inconvenient time (Yep tell me you’re GenX without telling me, right?!)

That being said you’re a grown woman do it if you want .. no judgement from me.

Remember Margaret Duchess of Argyll.

I wouldn't.

Once you've sent it it's completely out of your control and you have no idea where it might end up and who it might be shared with, (e.g. to his friends, your family/workplace, the internet in general), both now or in future when you might not be on such good terms.

And if it ends up on the internet you'll never get it taken down effectively.

Plus... You know he only wants it for one purpose, and it's not a purpose I'd be keen to facilitate - why would I want him to be using a pic rather than connecting with me in person....

Plenty of photos online of other peoples body parts. Find someone of a similar colouring and size to you and send them that if you must.

It's only normal if the intended recipient of the pic can be trusted and no one has a safe guard against knowing what will happen in the future. It's not even the person with the pics that might do wrong. The phone can get stolen ot hacked. I dont think ppls responses are ott... read the stories of ppl that have been traumatised by their pics getting out.

This is easy. Do you want to?

If yes, do it.
If no, don't do it.

No, non, nien, nada, never. That happy relationship today could turn into that toxic breakup tomorrow and he/she will always have those photos to hold over you

Never, ever. Never even been asked.

Never been asked and wouldn't do it anyway.

Boyfriends can wank over me by closing their eyes and using their imagination, as men have been doing forever.

Sorry but it's v trashy.

Don't send anything you would mind being put on a billboard outside your childrens' school

A digital image can always be retrieved even if it has been "deleted".

How do you think the police manage to catch out so many paedos when they have "deleted" all their child pornography?

@Mayis It would be an absolute NO from me BTW.

The fact that you've been together for two years, but you still think this could be 'a test' and that he might 'judge you' for it, suggests to me that this relationship is absolutely not healthy enough for you to consider sending him a nude picture.

You've been together two years, but the way you're talking about the possibility of him testing you and then judging you for falling into his weird 'send nudes' trap sounds like something a woman would say about a man she'd only been on a couple of dates with. Is this some sort of long distance relationship or something? How well do you actually know each other?

It's pretty obvious that you're not actually comfortable with this and you shouldn't do anything you're not comfortable with for anyone.

While I think the OP specifically would be be unwise to send a nude pic - in general, I don't really share the general Mumsnet horror of exchanging pictures with a significant other, if both partners find it sexy. Obviously there is a risk that they might end up being shared, particularly if the relationship breaks down, but I think if someone is aware of that risk and feels that the fun outweighs it, then it's fine.

Plus... You know he only wants it for one purpose, and it's not a purpose I'd be keen to facilitate - why would I want him to be using a pic rather than connecting with me in person....

Well, it wouldn't be 'instead of connecting in person', would it? It would be 'in addition to connecting in person' or 'for those occasions when connecting in person isn't possible due to distance'. It's OK for anyone to enjoy a wank as well as sex, you know.

At the very least he'll probably have a wk over it 🤢
Why does he want it, do you require a dick pick? Thought not.

I don't understand why you'd consider it repulsive that a man would be turned on by a picture of his own partner, or why you'd think it was impossible that a woman could be turned on by her boyfriend's hard-on.

If you do make sure u hide any identity features or backgrounds. Including face, tattoos, scars etc

I don't think it's even safe any more to send a photo without your face in it. Not with all the software that's available now. If the person had clothed photos of you with your face visible, it probably wouldn't be all that difficult to edit them.

Rule of thumb. If they ask you to do anything that you don't want to do enough, or trust them enough to do, without needing a second opinion, don't do it.

Its clear you arent comfortable doing it. So dont.

I wouldnt either.

I wanted to highlight this, I sent to a boyfriend - we were together a long time and lived together. When we broke up he shared my photos with random men online and gave them my details. I had numerous men contact me asking me for more, it was really horrific as most of them were really strange. I even had a stalker who found out where I lived and used to sit in his car outside my house.

Trusted my ex when we were together, obviously breaking up can do crazy things to people and I wouldn't have expected him to have the mental breakdown he did. My advice, never send anything to anyone.

Erm okay, wonderful 🤣🤣

I would never put anything 'out there ' I wasn't happy for my grandmother to see.