To stop DN going in maze?

[Wantedfghj]

I have a four year old niece and one of my best friends has a three year old DD. We often take them to the park together.

There is a maze at the park. It’s not gigantic but it’s not small. It’s a square, the maze’s bushes are too high to see over. It’s got two exits, one on two different sides. My friend is happy for the kids to go in alone. I always usually go in with DN, although she knows the maze very well. I thought maybe I was being over the top to want to go with them, so stayed with my friend and her baby for about five seconds, then felt too uncomfortable and went and caught up with DN.

Am I unreasonable? Should I have let her go in alone with her little friend?

YABU - let her go in alone next time
YANBU - keep going with her - anyone could be in the maze

Oh god YANBU at that age.

Well I don’t think it’s wrong of you to stay with her but what exactly are your concerns?
That she’ll get lost? Or that someone else in the maze might cause a problem? If you shouted her name across the maze would she be able to hear you? If she shouted would you hear her?

YANBU, I way would I have left a 4yo to wander off by themselves in a maze in a public park.

Can exits be seen simultaneously? That would make the difference to me.

She’d be able to hear me but not easily reach me.

My concerns are that there might be a dodgy man flashing in the maze, or that she might come out the side we can’t see and panic about finding me, or if I’m honest, worry that she’ll be abducted.

Most of us are more cautious with other people's kids than our own. It's fine.

Not easily. Diagram attached.

Aunt to a 7yo, 4yo and 3yo - I'd be fine with the 7yo going off in a maze by himself, I wouldn't let the younger two go by themselves. More from worry that they'd get lost and then get upset and it would be difficult to find them.

Not so much from flashing fears (would a 4yo even understand what flashing was, rather than 'there was a man with no trousers on...' curious reporting) or abduction (how many stranger abductions of pre-school children occur each year in this country?).

I'd accompany a 4 year old. But realistically a flasher or an abductor would want to have a less tortuous getaway route.

I've seen people in mazes holding up flags on sticks so others can see where they are.

I'm nearly 60, my generation have all grown up with inappropriate sexual behaviour and flashing, because we were given too much freedom and it was seen as a part of life. So I agree with you. Besides from that, she doesn't know the maze well and is too little not to panic because you are out of sight. You can't be at both exits, so it would be a no from me.

I would never let a 4 year old out of my sight in a public place.

This is how I feel. I don’t like her out of my sight.

My DM is similarly aged and was flashed in this very same park when she was a child! Although she said she found the drama when she explained what had happened to her parents very exciting so I don’t think she was mentally scared, and it wasn’t in the maze.

So if you were at the bottom corner, you can see both exits though?

I'll be more worried about wandering off than potential flashers and kidnappers really.

Good opportunity for a half hour break.

Yes, just about. We’d be blocking the path to stand on that corner though, we were standing at the bottom entrance.

I know abduction is very, very rare, but it only takes once.

I'm surprised that children that age would feel ok about going in alone. I wouldn't want my child out of my sight in this way, I didn't even like them being out of sight if I was in a maze too trying to keep up. Not for me.

I'd be more worried about the child panicking and getting distressed.

I got lost in a maze as an adult and it was quite disorientating and almost claustrophobic.

Who wants a child to have nightmares about giant hedges closing in on her or to feel trapped and lost?

No, at 4 years old I wouldn't be happy for a child to go into a maze alone.

No sure I'd be too worried about stranger danger but I'd be more concerned about the child not being able to find their way out and getting upset while I'm trying to find them and can't.

The whole point of a maze is that it's a challenge to find the exit. At 4 years old, I think, depending on the maze, it's probably a bit too much of a challenge to undertake alone.

I suppose it also depends on the child as well. Just turned 4 is very different from almost 5 and likewise, a very sensible almost 5 year old is very different from a not so sensible just 4 year old.

DN does know the maze well. Can get in and out easily, thinks it’s funny when she’s ‘lost’. She’s nowhere near as independent as friend’s DD and wouldn’t go in if at all worried. When I go in with her she loves showing me the way.

I just panic she’ll disappear and I won’t be able to find her.

They’re both absolutely fine going in alone. Couldn’t care less about us being with them in the maze. It’s me who feels uncomfortable.

Nope I wouldn’t let my four year old in alone!

I just panic she'll disappear and I won't be able to find her.

Understandable, I think that would be my fear as well.

I’m fairly chilled but no way.

It's fine and normal to worry about young children being out of sight, the potential for them to go missing or an unsavoury person being around, you are not aware of. Not sure what other answer you want.