To stop DN going in maze?

[Wantedfghj]

I have a four year old niece and one of my best friends has a three year old DD. We often take them to the park together.

There is a maze at the park. It’s not gigantic but it’s not small. It’s a square, the maze’s bushes are too high to see over. It’s got two exits, one on two different sides. My friend is happy for the kids to go in alone. I always usually go in with DN, although she knows the maze very well. I thought maybe I was being over the top to want to go with them, so stayed with my friend and her baby for about five seconds, then felt too uncomfortable and went and caught up with DN.

Am I unreasonable? Should I have let her go in alone with her little friend?

YABU - let her go in alone next time
YANBU - keep going with her - anyone could be in the maze

Mazes are NOT fun! We went to the - ahem - Peace Maze in Castlewellan Forest Park a couple of years ago. It was a boiling hot day. DS2 was very very grumpy and driving us all bonkers. Honestly, by the end of that maze, if we could've all gone home in separate cars, including letting the then 10yo drive himself home, we would have. Peace Maze my arse😆😆

It would be very easy to assault a small child within a maze, away from sight. No child of any age should go in alone

3&4

Far too young imo to be left alone in a public place where there are two exits so could go out of the other one and you wouldn't know

Possibly if went if a friend and I was at one exit and friends mum at the other

It just seems a bit of a risk to me at that young age

I let DS and a friend go in a huge maize maze alone at about 10 and they took AGES (enjoying being lost and exploring) but I was so on edge the whole time they were in there, I hated it. No way would I let a 4yo go in alone, and I’m really very much it a helicopter parent.

OP is this the hedge maze at Saltwell Park in Gateshead??

No, they are too little to go in alone. Simples.

I'd feel the same as you instinctively do. You need to be able to see a 4 yr old at all times, especially when they aren't your child. Better to be over cautious than under cautious, it's unlikely something would go wrong in the maze but still not worth the risk x

Absolutely not, also if she loves showing you around, whose benefit would it be to let her go in by herself? Only yours to allow a chat with your friend (I'm not saying you want this OP).
She is your DN, what does her own mum think?

This.

If she panicked and you went in to find her she might run out one of the exits while you were looking for her.

There's an in-between of helicopter parenting and allowing four year olds to play somewhere new, out of sight. Until they are around seven, you should be able to see them.

YANBU

Incidentally, if you ever find yourself "lost" in a maze and panicky there is a simple but tortuous way to get out.

Pick the hedge to either your left or right and follow it, keeping the left/right side of your body (or your hand touching the hedge) to that hedge, follow it all the way round and you will get out. It might take ages, depending on the size of the maze number of dead-ends etc but you will get out.

Try it with a pencil and paper maze keeping your line closer to one side of the "path" than the other and you'll see it works.

(Maybe don't tell kids this tip unless necessary it'll either spoil the fun or make them smart-arsey).

Have you asked the parents (as she is your niece)?

I wouldn’t let a 4 year old go in alone but if someone had my child I would like them to discuss it with me.

If it doesn’t ‘feel’ right, don’t do it either.

YANBU

The children are too young to be out of sight in a public place.

A local playground was recently redone to ensure sight lines across the entire installation were clear. It's a big playground, with equipment for kids 6 months to 12 years, and park benches around the perimeter.

You don't need to hover over your 4yo child in a park or playground, but imo you need to be able to see them, and when you're in charge of a child, you need to always think ahead a little. I always did a reconnaissance of the hazards of any given park the DCs played in, including discreetly assessing the other people there. The bottom line is safety for the children.

If you feel worried about should she go without you imagine how she would feel if something untoward happened, even slipping over and not being able to run for a quick hug could be terrifying. I would trust your instinct

Reading your OP made my blood run cold. I am quite a calm person but I loathe mazes.I would never go into one. I wonder if there is a name for maze phobia? I think I have it! Anyway OP you sound like a caring and very responsible Aunty to your niece. You are absolutely doing the right thing to keep a close eye on her in public spaces. Especially as she is only 4.

I've been to "mazes" that I can see all of if I stand on a chair (I'm short), these would be fine to just cover the exits of (to my mind). But there are bigger mazes that there's no way in hell I'd even leave an older (say 8 y.o.) in. We can't really know without seeing it, but just trust your instincts. If she's not kicking up an almighty "leave me alone! I'm a big girl!" and you want to stay with her, enjoy the fun!

Absolutely YANBU

YANBU. I wouldn’t let my 5 year old into a maze alone, I wouldn’t have even entertained the idea when she was 4! Although, my reasoning is that if she lost her way she would get upset and panic. There’s a maze close by where I live and I’ve seen another child around my daughters age walking around with a helium balloon tied to her backpack so her parents know where she is while in the maze and she’s easier to find.

This. And certainly not with a three year old. They should be with an adult at such a young age.

Absolutely would not let her out of your sight! This is madness! She is 4!!!
also, what would her parents do/say? This is an exact reason why I wouldn’t let anyone take my children out etc! Or are you full time carer?

You need to trust your gut instinct.

If you think your child might panic or get scared, you're right there with them,

It builds confidence, with your praise.

They'll let you know when they're ready for bigger "independence" challenges, like sleepovers.

As with any activity that age we need to be nearby, so yes with them. They need to feel safe..xx

I’d feel as uncomfortable as you for all the same reasons . Plus when it’s someone else’s child it always makes you feel more anxious about having them in your sight

I wouldn’t let my seven year old in a maze alone tbh