To stop DN going in maze?

[Wantedfghj]

I have a four year old niece and one of my best friends has a three year old DD. We often take them to the park together.

There is a maze at the park. It’s not gigantic but it’s not small. It’s a square, the maze’s bushes are too high to see over. It’s got two exits, one on two different sides. My friend is happy for the kids to go in alone. I always usually go in with DN, although she knows the maze very well. I thought maybe I was being over the top to want to go with them, so stayed with my friend and her baby for about five seconds, then felt too uncomfortable and went and caught up with DN.

Am I unreasonable? Should I have let her go in alone with her little friend?

YABU - let her go in alone next time
YANBU - keep going with her - anyone could be in the maze

Since this is you DN, what does her parents say? Would they let her? If that's a definite no, then I'd take their rule. I'd not leave her TBF but I'm fairly risk adverse 🙈

Last Friday me, my daughter, my sister and her 2 kids went to a big park with a maze and you have never seen anything like it lol I was getting so pissed off that we couldn't get out and my youngest niece kept leading us to dead ends which wasn't done on purpose but it was us 5 stuck in this maze and I don't think we have ever laughed so much. I'm imagining a kidnapper trying to get out and wondering why they chose a maze of all places 😂 we all made sure we stuck together so there's no way I would let a kid wander round one on their own. We would probably still be in there if we all went our separate ways lol

Some people don’t have brain cells. You don’t let a 4/5 yr old out of your sight when out

You’re uncomfortable with letting DN go in alone so go with your gut - don’t let other people make you feel like you’re being unreasonable, it’s your call.

I think you are right, TBH anyone taking their eyes of a 3/4 year old in the park and in a maze is insane - that's slack parenting

i wouldn’t if it was my child, and I certainly wouldn’t have my eyes off someone else’s child. Have you asked her parents what they would be happy with?

I was wondering this, but then I wondered if OP is raising DN (temp or perm)?

I can understand wanting to take extra caution in that circumstance.

I would absolutely not let my 4 year old in the maze alone/ with a 3 year old. If my sister was looking after her and allowed this I would probably not let her look after her again.

This.

As kids get older, there will be differences of opinion on how much freedom they should have, but at age 4, you make sure you can see them at all times in public places.

I would never let them out of my sight at that age so we always went with them in mazes. Usually we'd have one each and race each other to the finish.

Good Lord no. I wouldn’t let a four year old out of my sight in a park, maze, whatever it is for what I hope are very obvious reasons.

I agree with the majority. I wouldn’t let them out of my sight. It’s too dangerous at that age. I would follow close behind them. It doesn’t ruin the fun or anything. They’re still in charge of solving the maze.

When I was little, my mum & I were waiting outside for my sister to finish her piano lesson.
Mum was sitting in the car & I was playing in the phone booth - the old-fashioned kind in the US, where you had to pull the door inward to open it.
Only I didn’t know that, and I kept pushing on it, and it wouldn’t open, and there I was, freakng out, at 4 or 5 years old — and my mum sat there watching me, a disinterested look on her face.
After about 10 terrifying minutes, my mother decided to let me out of my trap.
I think about that after all these many decades and why she just sat there and watched me have a nervous breakdown.
Your niece may know her way out of the maze, but she may get turned around and it would be terrifying to suddenly not know where the exit is.
You’re wise to stay with her.
You’re a good aunt.

Yanbu 4 year olds need to always be within eyeline when out in public

I’d be most worried about my 4yo falling and hurting herself and me not being able to immediately reach her (doubly so if she was someone else’s child who I was babysitting). I also definitely wouldn’t let her be the only person who could see someone else’s 3 year old for any length of time.

If you cannot see her, or any of the other people in the maze (or anywhere) she is at risk. Absolutely go with her.

Same age here. I don't think we were given too much freedom. All the evidence is that silo-ing kids at home or only allowing supervised play has been incredibly bad for kids' resilience and physical and mental health. We shouldn't be restricting kids' freedom, we should be tackling male sexual deviancy better.

To be honest I am 64 but would prefer not to go in alone. In fact I wouldn't. Nothing to do with flashers but I tend to panic if I am not sure of the way out! You should see me in a department store!!! To be fair, any flasher that I encountered would not have a good time at all!!!

I have a 3.5 year old and wouldn’t let him go in alone and can’t imagine I would allow it in the next couple of years either.

not unreasonable. I have a 4 year old, there was a maze on holiday, let him go in with his older sister while standing at the exit but quickly couldn't see over the top to the middle area so had to wade in there quick as he was starting to hurl himself bodiliy over the sides for fun so could have got out anywhere! He was fine but got quite scratched. 4 year olds can easily panic or do something silly like he did so I think your approach is the right one.

Why take the risk? It's just not worth it!

I would not be letting a 4yo out of my sight either (DS is 4). Even at soft play you can see through the play frame to where your child is, a maze with 2 exits is not designed for such young kids to do by themselves. Abduction is unlikely but if DN falls and hurts herself would you be able to get to her?

No way would I ever leave a 4 year old out of my sight. Way too young.

Out of interest, where is the maze? There’s a one fairly local to me and it wouldn’t faze me at all letting children in there alone.

i hate mazes, I get totally panicked in them so no way would I let me child in there alone!