To stop DN going in maze?

[Wantedfghj]

I have a four year old niece and one of my best friends has a three year old DD. We often take them to the park together.

There is a maze at the park. It’s not gigantic but it’s not small. It’s a square, the maze’s bushes are too high to see over. It’s got two exits, one on two different sides. My friend is happy for the kids to go in alone. I always usually go in with DN, although she knows the maze very well. I thought maybe I was being over the top to want to go with them, so stayed with my friend and her baby for about five seconds, then felt too uncomfortable and went and caught up with DN.

Am I unreasonable? Should I have let her go in alone with her little friend?

YABU - let her go in alone next time
YANBU - keep going with her - anyone could be in the maze

I wouldn't have let me dc at them ages go in alone nor my dn's or dn's. You're definitely not bu in my opinion. For those saying the odds of anything happening are small, is it really worth even the smallest chance? I don't think so. Your did the right thing.

Abduction never crosses my.mind but I still think too young. But I might be imagining the maze to be bigger than it is.

It is quite big, but not massive, and it’s set in a big Victorian park with loads of different areas. If DN disappeared it’s a huge area to search.

A baby maze in a small park would be different, but I can’t see over the hedges into this one. I feel better that my friend probably isn’t judging me for being too strict with DN after this thread.

At those ages, no way.

I'm pretty chilled but I wouldn't let my 4 year old go into a maze alone. And I certainly wouldn't let someone else's 4 year old out of my sight if I was responsible for them so YANBU.

I wouldn't risk it, either. It's highly unlikely that anything would happen if they went alone, but if you're the type to worry, you won't be to completely relax, anyway, so you might as well go with them.

I am your generation. I had lots of freedom. Any flashing only happened when I was long past the age when parents these days would allow children to go out by themselves. Teenagers and young women are most at risk.

No no and a thousand times no. There was a maze at an amusement park in the town I grew up in and even the staff who worked there would say don't let your children go in there alone, what's going on in there can't be observed from the outside

Could be any perv or anyone in there. Same as going to the toilet alone. Kids in enclosed spaces out of sight of parents is not safe.

I feel better that my friend probably isn’t judging me for being too strict with DN after this thread

OP, I think people can do what they like with their own kids, but when you're caring for a child who isn't yours, any parent would be grateful that you're erring on the side of caution.

I am also your generation. I’ve never had a man flashing at me. Ever.

I'm sorry but your friend is nuts.

Has someone made you doubt yourself?

I'd be going in with her

No way would I let my son, who's 5 in July, go in on his own. I have anxiety just thinking about it. I'd be scared he'd disappear or get really upset if he couldn't find me.

Realistically I'd say a maze is the least likely place to be abducted from (most abductors aren't going to want to navigate a maze to get away?!) but still YANBU. I'd be worried that she'd get lost or disoriented (or that I would!) and I wouldn't be able to find her. Plus it isn't your child, so you're right to be more cautious.

Do the children go there often enough to know their way around and come back to you whichever entrance they come out of?

If yes, I'd be less worried but as it isn't your child then I wouldn't let someone elses go even if they were confident. I might let my own if I fully trusted them not to panic and to know where to find me if they went their regularly. 3/4yo is still very young.

They absolutely do, but whether they’d have the sense to not go with someone offering them sweets or telling them Auntie C has said to go with is another issue.

i cant breathe when i think of my 4 or 5 year old going missing or being kidnapped and so i now don't risk anything, i watch them like a hawk and im always on the watch out for dangers, i would not be letting them in a maze with no view the only time i allow them out of sight is at one of those soft play centres and even then im still making sure i know where they are at most times

Not unreasonable given there’s two exits I could be worried about this. Anyone can snatch her.

I wouldn't let her go in alone. What does the child's parent think?

Age 4 I would want to be able to see her at all times in the park. I'm surprised your friend lets a 3 year old go in on her own!

That's an interesting and valid point. I was given boundless freedom but can also recount numerous violations

OP no I would absolutely not let my child at 4 go in a maze by herself. At least not one with sides so high I can't see her.

But either way , don't doubt yourself.
If you're uncomfortable with it then don't do it.
Doesn't matter what other people do

The flashers I all saw were in my teenage years and early adulthood. As a young child when I had freedom I encountered zero problems. Most people do not stop teenagers and young adults going anywhere without their parents because of flashers and similar.