Who is wrong here?

[PyongyangKipperbang]

Person A. Random bad bout of motion sickness, not happened in this grown adult since childhood. Clearly very ill. Difficult journey so sickness ends up a full blown panic attack with intermittent heaving but contained with plastic bags and wet wipes, and Person A doesnt want to keep stoppinng to be sick every 5 to ten minutes. But speed is increasing the panic and keeps insisting that Person B slows down.

Person B is being very patient. Offers to stop, stops to try and buy remedies, opens windows etc. Does everything they can. They are driving will below the legal limit, so say 40 in a 60. This is slower than they would normally drive and they are making an effort to do slower braking and accelerating than they would normally do, but Person A is still asking them to slow down.

Person A says Person B should have slowed down further as it was a quiet road and maybe pulled in to let traffic pass if there was a queue.

Person B says that they were not driving fast and dont agree that they should have slowed down more on single lane roads.

The reason it was a difficult drive was that person A has a fear of heights and there was an unexpected (to A) climb up a very steep mountain road with high drops. Person B has driven this route many times, enjoys the drive and didnt think to mention the drops as didnt know that Person A was scared of heights.

Neither were wrong. It sounds like a crappy situation for both of them

I’m scared of heights but not in car because it’s on the ground. I’d never even think someone would be scared of heights in a car. Person B was already under the speed limit so did nothing wrong. I have been travel sick driving up a mountain before (after not being travel sick in a car before) but I would never expect someone to do more than B already did.

Person A should be lucky Person B was accommodating as much as they were.

Tram B! Team B all the way.

Ooo good call! For anyone other than a dc behaving like such a drama llama you'd expect them to be told to find their own way home!

Nobody is wrong but perhaps the right thing to do would have been to stop somewhere for a while so that A could get over their panic attack rather than to keep going.

Driving too far below the speed limit for a long period is not safe to do (even with pulling over to let others go past).

I am scared of heights and have driven on some roads (especially in mid wales) that are pretty scary but A does sound like they were being overly dramatic about it.

@DecoratingDiva first post said that B did offer to stop, and also tried to stop to buy medicine. I don’t think there was ever an issue that B wouldn’t stop at all.

They should have pulled over and A should have had at least half an hour of walking and fresh air. Then, back in the car, A lying flat on the back seat with footwell filled with bags to be sick in, and B getting to their destination as quickly as safely possible.

This !!!
A wouldn’t have liked it. But A didn’t like the whole experience so should have just curled up in the back seat with their eyes closed and prayed it was over! Or over soon.
looking and knowing is part of the problem. B could have continued to drive considerately for A and for other road users.

you can stop a boat in a gateway when you feel motion sick - you just need to get to dry land.

Just get there, end the journey and hug the floor!

This sounds like a memorable trip to Meteora in Greece with 4 year old dd2 being sick, terrified of the heights and screaming at her dad to slow down! I look forward to repeating the trip without the drama in the future. Dd2 is now in her early 30s but that trip is engraved on my memory.

there was an unexpected (to A) climb up a very steep mountain road with high drops

I've been up some incredible roads with drops of hundreds of feet with only a flimsy wooden barrier between my side of the car and certain death - there's no way that if the road was that terrifying it would have a 60mph speed limit (and even if so, any driver with half a brain would be going at 30 max).

45 mph is plenty slow enough if the other cars around are pushing 60. and assuming the road doesn't have a cliff edge to the side, which it won't

Would A have preferred the journey to be twice as long at an unsafe, slow speed, or to have reached the destination sooner?

Person A is being unreasonable

I was about to agree with B as 40 in 60 zone sounds as slow down too much but then I’ve remembered that I know quite a few roads with 60 speed limit where only mad are doing 60.
There is one particular single road with lots of turns and hilly with speed limit 60 where in reality 60 is not an option most of the way, 40 is normal with more on a few straight stretches. So if someone tells me they did 40 in there I would be :So what? It’s the normal driving.
Yes, I saw a few times people doing more but it’s quite risky, These people by the way were usually in sports car, never your sensible family Citroen.
DH drives a bit less than 40 on it with more on some straight stretches, and even less in adverse weather conditions.

So depending on the area 40 might not be such an award claiming slow down ime.

I also don’t think that A was unreasonable when wanting to go home quickly rather then wasting time on stops. We were exactly at the similar situation once - you go home as quickly and as safe as possible. We all were unwell afterwards for more than a months so how long our recovery stop could be ??? it was impossible.
And plus choosing longer route is on B - bad planning from their side.

So after careful thinking I agree with A.

Hang on: it was a single track with a sheer drop; but there was also space to slow down and let other cars pass?

I’ve been A who became travel sick climbing mountainous roads. B did flow down and drive extra carefully, and stopped when I felt really ill.

To be honest, I just wanted the journey over and done with so curled up in a ball and closed my eyes, or looked at something comforting on my phone.

It sounds like B was being considerate , and A has just got heightened emotions due to the panic attack text. One of those situations whereby neither were right or wrong.

If it was genuine a single track / single lane road, then it would have more passing places than an ordinary single carriageway (two track) road! That’s a really common feature of U.K. rural roads.

However, I’m willing to bet that when OP said single lane she actually meant single carriageway!

I am scared of heights and have driven on some roads (especially in mid wales) that are pretty scary but A does sound like they were being overly dramatic about it.

@DecoratingDiva Ah! Yes!! Some scary ones in Mid-Wales. Especially one!!

Was this a first date? 😂

I thought single carriageway as well. It sounds too long for a single lane road.

I suffer from travel sickness but I get it all the time not just randomly which I find bizarre, is there a medical reason for the sudden sickness?

I just usually like to close my eyes and have my window open and hope the journey is over quickly.

A sounds like they were having anxiety/panic attack on top of the sickness and B sounds like they were just trying to get the horrible journey over with as soon as possible but as safely as they could.

Even if B had of driven slower nothing would have changed for A, they would have still been sick and panicking at the road and the whole process would have been drawn out so I’m with B on this one.

Equally I think if it was the highlands they were travelling then these roads are known for being exactly that, high. I think if this is the case then A should have said to B before setting out can we try to avoid any really high roads as I don’t like heights.

I know I’m late to the party, but…

No one was B unreasonable here. It’s sounds like two people who care for each other were thrown into a difficult and unexpected situation. Each had to deal with it very quickly in the way they saw best, which unfortunately didn’t align, but nothing was done with malice or intent to upset.

I hope that both sides can respect how the other feels, have a hug and dispense with a post mortem.

B did their best and A was unreasonable, albeit whilst being ill. Once nausea has started, it’s better to get to the destination quickly as going slower will just prolong the discomfort. B was also going well below the speed limit and thus potentially putting both A and B at risk.

I get terrible motion sickness. If it was a flat straight road, I’d say drive faster. If it’s windy, I’d want to go more slowly

As someone who used to suffer travel sickness, and can still fall foul to it (and also seasickness - and yes I have to go on boats!) the best thing to do is stop the trigger until you feel better. A should have tried stopping and getting out of the car for a good half hour to recuperate.

Being sick also does usually help, and looking where you’re going while travelling, focussing on the horizon etc.

I don’t think it’s fair to make the other driver drive in a way that could actually be dangerous. It should be safe, steady driving, plus stopping when necessary. Speed makes no difference to the trigger, but corners do.

I sympathise with A but B did everything they could reasonably do and As behaviour was so dangerous. Sounds like a dangerous road and a stressful situation, the added distraction of As hysterics was really not ideal for B to drive

And some people need to learn to exhibit a bit of kindness and understanding.