To think it’s selfish for parents to retire early when their kids are renting?

[Lesbeavinu]

Dh has decided he is going to retire at 59. He has a great government pension and private pension/savings. He earns a decent £50k a year (same as me) and we have no mortgage.

I said that dh should continue working for another year or 18 months and gift the money to dd for a flat deposit.

As others have said I suspect OP is the daughter and she seems immature and financially illiterate - “oh daddy earns 50k/yr - If he can afford to retire he can work just one more year and give me the 50k. Simples! “

I totally agree with @TizerorFizz . Young people today face structural challenges getting on the housing ladder which cannot just be overcome by 'hard work'. Furthermore, there is zero chance any of them will be lucky enough to even contemplate retiring at 59 - or even 65 in all probability. When they do, they will be lucky if the state pension even still exists. And if they don't even own a modest property of their own, they will in all likelihood be financially f*cked.
Of course the DH in the thread is entitled to do exactly as he pleases including retiring whenever he likes if he can afford it. But retiring at 59 is a massive luxury. Personally, given this choice, if there was only 18 months in it? No, there is no way I'd just kick back and watch my kids struggle. Most people I know would move heaven and earth to help their (hardworking) kids buy a house. Not because they are raising a generation of pampered snowflakes, but simply because they are in touch with economic reality and the extreme generational unfairness which exists in this country.

Could you not gift them the deposit from your wages?

I don't know what to think of this. I'm in my 40s and won't be retiring until 71 due to the changes in pension age, so working another year until 60 sounds like a dream! The earlier pension ages aren't sustainable, hence the changes for later generations, I hope everyone realises how lucky they are. I appreciate that everyone has hard times.

I'm planning to help my children as much as can, it's going to be very hard for them. The rise in house prices/rents means it's much tougher than even for late Gen X/early Millenials.

Let him retire now. My own DM retired in July 2021, on her 70th birthday. In September 2023 she was killed in a road accident. Just over two years of retirement.

Of course he should, (assuming you would have mentioned health issues) a work from home job 9-4pm and he’s only 59. Why wouldn’t he want to help his children when the housing market is so difficult, most parents would want to do that.

YABU for saying he should keep working to give money to your kids but I think he is being unreasonable for retiring early if you don’t have a massive savings pot for emergencies when you are both older.
my dad retired at a similar age and it made my mum very paranoid about money and she ended up working till 68 to compensate ( AND she had a terminal Illness) and so yes I think it depends on how much saviNgs you have but it could be slightly short sighted/selfish on his part

I am a grad and I have in fact worked my whole adult life (so far). I started working around school at 13 (had two paper rounds), started in shops at 15, worked 16 hours til I was in uni and then did 30 alongside my degree (in science, so 15 hours in lectures and 15 hours in labs). I never stopped.

I had a very strong work ethic instilled in me from my parents. My dad worked and saved hard and was able to retire even earlier than the DH in the OP (and no, not civil service/teacher/police etc, very manual job). My mum worked a bit longer to be able to facilitate this but is now part time in what OP would describe as a cushy low stress job.

They were still able to gift us small deposits towards our homes. But they did so on the premise that we saved our own contribution too (which I and my sibling did in different ways).

However, given how hard I've seen them both work to ensure that we were never without anything and to get themselves to this position, I would never have felt "entitled" to a deposit from them. They are my support in so many ways, but financially I am independent and will only take from them if they insist they want to give it.

That's how OP and her DH should be raising their DD. Not to expect handouts, but to appreciate the other support her parents have given her. If she does, she'll reciprocate in the two way street you've described. Family support does not equal financial.

Agree. There is obviously a clear divide between the ‘I’m all right brigade’ and those who appreciate that the economic reality has changed so that hard work is no longer enough to get a decent life if you live in the South East.

And this has all come about under a conservative government.

No I'm not @Rosscameasdoody
The people who can afford to retire at 59 are usually in local government and other public sector work where their contracts (from decades back) allow retirement at 60. (And used to be 50!!!)

Employees in private companies cant usually access a pension till 60 (and only then with permission) and it's reduced. It's not the full amount.

Without the figures, it's impossible to know what difference retiring early would make.

If they have savings and the OP is carrying on working, surely they can give their child some financial help anyway?

If he carries on for another year, what does that mean? That ALL his salary for that year would go to the DC?

There is almost no way of getting on your feet with property ownership these days without parental help. Your dh is unreasonable IMO. And I speak as a Gen X who is trying to figure out how to get my almost grown up kids onto the property ladder in due course, not as a kid wanting money from parents!

Plenty of Gen Z are leaving university with 80k debt. It’s going to be a rough ride for them.

Many are actually 55 now, although I am aware they're looking to increase that.

The simplest way to look at it is...what's it worth to each of them? I'd be inclined to think that 12-18 months out of the last quarter of someone's life is probably worth a hell of a lot more to them than a deposit is to somebody much younger.

Why don't you get a part time job on top of yours and save up the money yourself? Alternatively you can work a few years longer to fund it. You are being massively unreasonable.

So I am a little bit puzzled by the maths here. If DH retires now I assume that he would receive at the very least 50% of his current salary as pension? This leaves a net combined income of £75k with no mortgage to pay. Saving for a deposit even in the South East means (using one of a couple of government schemes) putting away 3-400 a month over four years with the DD also contributing over this period. On a joint income of £75k with no mortgage this is very doable. Assuming there is only one DC?

Please tell me the OP doesn’t work 😂

It’s a lovely thing for parents to be able to help out their children. My parents helped me to get the deposit for my first home because my financial security is what brought them joy. My DH’s parents retired early and got a house extension, bought nice cars and went on lots of holidays. That’s what brought them joy and we didn’t resent them for it. I will definitely be helping my DD out if I’m able to but that would be MY choice. I’d be really annoyed if someone told me when I should retire and what I should be spending my money on!

My parents retired early and honestly this never crossed my mind.

I agree with you OP. I think many on here (and in general) don't understand or care to understand how different things are for young people in their 20s, 30s, even 40s compared to those of approx 55/60 plus. Retiring at 59 is a luxury that few will be able to afford in younger generations. The job in question sounds jolly relaxed compared to many (sociable hours, desk job, WFH). I would certainly work longer and prioritise helping my DC if I possibly could. I honestly don't understand the selfish mindset that seems to prevail nowadays.

She already said that she does. In the first post.

DH and I retired at the same time when he was 63 and I was 59. No mortgage and decent pension provision.

Our adult DD was still living at home because her job, since graduation, was local and she was saving for a deposit. She did still insist on paying us rent. Obviously it was less than if she had been renting somewhere else but we are her parents not her landlords, we didn't want to make money out of her.

We offered her money towards the deposit but, do you know what, she turned us down. She said she wanted the satisfaction of knowing she had saved for and bought her own place. She has too. About a year ago.

Would I have worked longer if she had needed the money and there was no other way of giving it to her? I am honestly not sure. I was finding my job quite stressful towards the end and was ready to retire.

My own Dad worked until he was 65, and still did a bit part time until he was 66 to help out his ex-business partner. He died at 67.

The lack of reading comprehension on this thread is really something to behold.

Not to mention the assumptions and projection. Maybe the OP is also planning to work an extra year?

We've been fortunate ourselves and have certainly planned things to give our kids deposits because we understand it's a whole different world out there now. Young people can be incredibly hard workers and still not be able to afford a home.

Everyone is entitled to have different priorities, but if I knew I was going to die in the next two years, I'd much rather go knowing I had helped provide the means for my children to be securely housed than having sat on a beach or visited more art galleries.

yes my dh died of cancer two years after he retired and it wasn't a fast or an easy process.

Its not just public sector workers. There are plenty of people coming up to retirement who started work the in the 80s and 90s for large private corporations who offered final salary schemes, most of which have 60 as retirement age, with the ability to take a reduced pension at any age between 55 and 60. I’m one of them and I naturally know plenty of others in the same boat.

If the situation is exactly as described, then yes I would do this. Although you don't mention his health - but because you didn't I'd assume it's fairly good.
I dream of being able to buy my children houses when they are young adults, or at least be able to give them significant deposits towards houses.