To think it’s selfish for parents to retire early when their kids are renting?

[Lesbeavinu]

Dh has decided he is going to retire at 59. He has a great government pension and private pension/savings. He earns a decent £50k a year (same as me) and we have no mortgage.

I said that dh should continue working for another year or 18 months and gift the money to dd for a flat deposit.

OP doesn’t need to answer if she works. It’s right there in the original post. She works and earns the same as her DH.

I recently read an article which stated that we're creating a class divide of have & have nots that's greater than ever before. Only those with parents who can stump up a deposit will ever own property, rather than those who can work hard to afford it. Saving enough to buy is becoming impossible, unless you have financial backing. That's the biggest sadness here.

Also, the selfish bit - we're late 40's, and have sacrificed & gone without partially so we can save large pensions to retire at 60 & travel & live freely without work restrictions before being too old. This time in your 60's is called 'active retirement' & we're losing it. Now I'm being told by society I'm expected to hand a chunk of that pension over to DC to buy a house & keep working or forgo travel. We'll have no inheritances from boomer parents to help (just saying, not a gripe) & we're tired. I don't want to sacrifice any more. It's selfish, but I just want to enjoy life for a bit!!!

I don't have an answer, but it's rubbish for everyone.

YABEU !!!

Exactly. Most people just see their own situation entirely in isolation, it seems.

The numbers simply don't add up and are getting worse and worse. This is a major problem. A problem for the younger generations, in the main. They have been effectively handed the debt of the previous generations plus essential things, such as housing, are far less affordable now than 20/30/40 years ago.

Also, the selfish bit - we're late 40's, and have sacrificed & gone without partially so we can save large pensions to retire at 60 & travel & live freely without work restrictions before being too old. This time in your 60's is called 'active retirement' & we're losing it. Now I'm being told by society I'm expected to hand a chunk of that pension over to DC to buy a house & keep working or forgo travel

I don't think that's selfish at all. There's only so long many people have in retirement when their health is still ok enough to enjoy it, and it is important to have some enjoyment in life.

Worth pointing out though, and this is in no way aimed at you or meant as an attack, the housing problem is worse than many people including maybe you might think. It's not mentioned much and a lot of the focus when the housing problems are discussed is on young people. It's definitely awful, but worst off of all are older private renters. There's about 2 million people over 50 private renting.

The UK really needs more social housing.

He should retire. And recommend me for the role. I really fancy 9-4 very low stress, fully remote, and great pension.

Oh wait you worded it confusingly, I was responding to the "give her money or you won't be cared for when you're old" part of your post - to be clear, a couple of posters have threatened exactly that.

As for the rest, the OP is very clearly the greedy, selfish daughter. Two quick wind up posts with almost no detail, and then total silence.

Irrelevant if others agree, I believe the OP is the selfish greedy daughter who wants her father to be her workhorse and wallet to make her life easier. I'll continue to respond accordingly.

That honestly hadn't occurred to me. I guess it's possible.

a) No one is entitled to 'spend' someone else's life, however convenient that might be for them.

b) I don't want to come over all Kirsty Allsopp, but you know, those of us that weren't born to wealth, led pretty basic lives in order to buy first homes in earlier decades. Think no overseas holidays until the age of 30, no car, no meals out or takeaways, no mod cons, (B&W TV and no washing machine until into the 90s). No gap years, no studying for Masters. It was a slog for many, many years, just like now.

I'm also not the only commenter who's thought it. She could have come back and responded and added details so easily. Maybe she'll turn up at the last moment and respond convincingly proving me wrong, but I doubt it.

I’m just shocked that the OP hasn’t come back!

What a windup!

But good discussion from it. I’ll end my participation with what I told my mum years ago when she mentioned inheritance…

”Anything you leave me will be appreciated but I hope you spend it on yourself because if I need it I’ve failed at being an adult and don’t deserve it.”

I think you can guess my stance on thinking parents should work longer to support grown ass adults!

Exactly. Well said.

Maybe you can get a second job to raise the money for your child's deposit?

How about the daughter working two jobs?

I always think of threads like this when I see people (especially older people) complaining about immigration levels in the UK. I have centrist/neutral views on immigration, but like everything else, it’s ultimately about trade-offs; if the British want to have less immigration, you are all going to have to get used to the idea of working a lot longer, especially people in public sector roles like the OP’s DH. No more cosy retiring at 60 because “I’ve done my bit and I’ve earned it.”

30 years of not earning. I’m afraid we have a declining workforce and a declining birth rate. What happened for me is not the same as now! There are fewer actively working. Not sure why people haven’t read up about this. Fewer people paying tax and more services to spend it on as people are living longer. It’s hardly rocket science is it? We need people working and much greater productivity.

Exactly. Also, depressing that for so many people, doing literally any amount of any work is incompatible with “enjoying yourself/enjoying your life.” The happiest 60-somethings I know continue work on moderated/reduced schedules or part time while enjoying their free time and holidays as well.

For me it would depend on why dc were renting.

Working and saving hard, dealing with some life issues that are beyond their control but have limited their ability to save - yes I think I'd work longer to help.

Renting due to poor life choices - no I don't think I'd see it as my responsibility to help them out. Would they work full time for a year to help me out?

But ultimately he needs to make his own choice and I don't think it's very supportive to make him feel guilty about something that should be an exciting time, and for which he's planned carefully.

Some of the happiest 60yo I know are retired on a good pension.
Some of the most miserable had to go back to work i nsome capacity.

Also, where does the 30years of non earning- this is money already earned. Some of it may also be in very bad healthy, why not enjoy when you still can.

@TizerorFizz
So what's your solution to this? People shouldn't retire when they've earned it and keep working to pay more tax? Which also ties up a job that someone else could move into, and increase the amount of tax they pay?

As well as an increase in life expectancy there is a declining number of jobs out there (that also pay more than min wage, and so enough tax). That's because of more automation and technology, resulting in less "man power" being required.

Your logic is that older generations are living longer so need to work longer. But what's the knock on effect there? Have you thought that bit through?

You are excellent at describing problems. Try coming up with solutions.

Quite.

My dad retired at Christmas and was diagnosed with terminal cancer in January. He now has months left and both his and my mum's days are filled with hospital appointments. You never know what life will throw at you, if he can retire early and enjoy himself after working hard for many years he should do that.

Just a reminder that those with occupational pensions have literally saved all their lives to grow their pension pot by paying in as an employee. In my industry the employer contribution is also a top slice of our annual pay settlements. The person working hard to fund the pension is not some mythical future young person, but the actual pensioner.

So sorry to hear that.

My parents had a 12 year age gap. My father retired at 60 when mum was 48. My mum was planning to retire as early as she could manage. Unfortunately dad died suddenly at 67 when mum was 65 before they could enjoy any retirement together. This is much of the reason I retired at 58 when I got the chance, DH and I have a similar though slightly smaller age gap and I wanted to ensure this didn’t happen to us.

Not sure if the OP is actually coming back but the numbers probably don’t add up to be paying for a massive deposit anyway.

so.. assuming the DH has many years of service he could be getting maybe 50% of his salary a year say a pension of £25k. After tax he’d be getting around £1800 a month for doing nothing. If he’s on 50k now he’d be having to pay into the pension as well (say 8%) he’d be getting around £3000 a month so around £1200 more. if he saved all of that they’d be able to gift £14k. Doesn’t really seem worth it to me to basically be working a full time job for a net benefit of £14k. I’d most definitely take the retirement on the maths alone regardless of all of the other issues.

OP?