What's your cautionary tale?

[BrightInMyNorthernSky]

Having just got through the most stressful week ever due to a nightmare situation of my own making, I thought I would share a previous and current cautionary tale.

1. Always remember to change the address on your V5 and not just your license. I didn't. DH got caught speeding twice on the same day on the same stretch of road (33 in a 30) in my car. Both fines went to old address. Didn't answer them, obvs. The whole sorry mess played out without me being aware and by the time it all caught up with me it was had been banned from driving for six months and fined £2k - five months earlier! So had been driving while banned for five months!!!

Don’t think that , after 30 years of marriage, that you will never end up divorced.

^This.
Also if they are chatting shit about other people to you then they are chatting shit about you to other people.
I now no longer look to be friends with work colleagues.
Friendly yes , of course, but not friends.

Yes, luckily I found this out at very start of my career. I was told clearly “never forget that HR are part of the management team, not employee representatives - join a union for that “ that was by the head of HR when I was doing a round robin job experience.

always join a union.

someone else said that, but so important. I didn’t need mine for 40 years of my career, then I really really needed them .

I’ve always used the “red face test” which is a more sensitive barometer

”if you are going to be ashamed or embarrassed or put your good character at risk, if someone finds out something you’ve done, said or written, don’t do it “

Ouch!

Love the username by the way!

<ponders if the user name MagicThighs is taken>

And your driving licence.

If you intend to drive a hire car abroad make sure you take your valid driving licence (that's from my parents).

Don’t assume that other people don’t speak or understand your language. I was on holidays last week and the table next to us where bitching about us in a language I speak super well (lived in their country for 3 years).
imagine their faces when spoke to them in their language and made it clear I understood what they said.

Now that’s a good solution 👏

Don’t assume your siblings will be your friends or in your life forever. Sad but true

Hear hear! Repel people who aren't for you by being yourself and you'll end up with a select few who really get you.

I was in a ten year relationship between my ex and "mask" me and it nearly broke me!
I met (now) DH 15 years ago internet dating and resolved to be 100% myself and it's been amazing

When you have young kids, keep all pens that are indelible well out of reach. Don't have a pen jar that mixes biros with the kids colouring felt tips. Keep them separate. Biros only reachable by adults!

Placemarking. I'm supposed to be working 😅

Also, if you have a bad feeling about the way your partner is parenting your little ones, speak up about it straight away. Then don't let it drop until you have found a way that works for both of you. Don't wait for a couple of years until you can see the effects on your kids and it's much harder to fix.

Actually maybe this goes for a lot of things, not just parenting.

@Kellogg1
Show us you're an idiot without telling us

@Kellogg1

Went fishing. Caught a shiny apple

🤣

Under significant pressure a few good friends will stand with you. However a lot of people you thought of as good friends will disappear at an astonishingly quick rate.

Don't get distracted while cooking, or you may end up absentmindedly grabbing a colander, your lovely French onion soup, and pouring most of it away.

I still served the beefy, garlicky onions much to my wife's amusement

FWIW, hairspray is magic for getting rid of biro marks on fabric, and presumably anything else. I’ve used it successfully on a pale yellow sofa.

EARN
YOUR
OWN
MONEY

And keep it safe. It doesn't have to be lots. Just something that gives you options in a tight spot.

(I learned this from observing my mum, who was a housewife and entirely dependent on support from her parents, her husband and then me all her life)

Was just about to say this! One or two people missing the joke I could understand, but it's almost half the thread 😂someone has even explained it further up, but people are still asking.

Do not ignore your gut instinct when a house seller is avoiding answering very simple questions, and things don't feel quite right. There will be a very clear reason they don't want to be explicit and you'll probably find out what it is very quickly after you move in! Remember a seller is usually desperate for the sale to go ahead no matter what, where as you are in the stronger position of being able to walk away until quite late in the process. Walk away if your gut tells you to. There will be another house. I wish I had followed this advice and not bought my current money pit house. And in my previous house, the weird way the seller answered questions about one of the neighbours should have sent us running, but we were emotionally invested so ignored all the signs!

Oh and here is another one! Don't trust the ovulation period of period tracker apps if you are TTC and you have a history of an irregular cycle.
Do research into other markers like CM.
In general, apps and AI and stuff aren't as smart as they make out.

If you have a child with special needs (or even suspected special needs) do not trust "the system" to do what is needed, to give you correct advice, or even to do anything at all. Don't wait for anything, do your research, do everything you can yourself, as fast and as much as you can possibly afford.

the majority of employers don't care about you and will get rid of you without a second thought if they need to. You are just a name on a spreadsheet to them. So don't put up with unpaid hours, poor treatment and lack of promotion/pay rise or sacrifice your personal life and health to 'go the extra mile'...

This is very true. And in some cases, it's also important to say...

Don't expect your employer to manage your mental health or create an environment where every one of your needs is met and every one of your values is fully activated. Be aware that there are differences between treating you poorly, and requiring you to deliver difficult things in a professional way. Don't expect their first thought to be infinite consideration of your learning and development needs (which you haven't expressed in terms of benefit to the organisation). Don't expect pay rises and promotions without any evidence of going any extra miles or adding any additional value.