What's your cautionary tale?

[BrightInMyNorthernSky]

Having just got through the most stressful week ever due to a nightmare situation of my own making, I thought I would share a previous and current cautionary tale.

1. Always remember to change the address on your V5 and not just your license. I didn't. DH got caught speeding twice on the same day on the same stretch of road (33 in a 30) in my car. Both fines went to old address. Didn't answer them, obvs. The whole sorry mess played out without me being aware and by the time it all caught up with me it was had been banned from driving for six months and fined £2k - five months earlier! So had been driving while banned for five months!!!

I'm in NI so might be different than the mainland but my letter last week stated in huge font at the top: you were observed travelling at 33mpg in a 30 limit zone, or words to that effect, so in black and white from the horses mouth no 10% tolerance.

My tip is if you get orange knees and elbows from fake tan, a rub with toothpaste takes it off.

In a key safe ideally. Speaking of combination locks, never buy a suitcase with one. Stick to a padlock. DH and I are currently away abroad and we had to go and get him some new clothes when we arrived.

Staying together ‘for the kids’ is only worth it if you can pull off the most Oscar worthy performance of a loving couple.

I wish my parents just split up as I now have dysfunctional relationships because I never witnessed what a real partnership should look like.

If you are being bullied at work, make a report to HR as soon as possible. Don't put it off because "He's your boss" or "His mother's just died" or "He just doesn't understand the incredibly niche details of my work". If you don't flag it up he WILL try to pin his failings on you and he MAY have you escorted off the premises on a trumped up gross misconduct charge for which he can provide no evidence. On the plus side you may walk off with a £30K payoff and a much less stressful job to go to.

Yep, I was stupid. I think the not kissing advice sunk in years ago, but the more explicit advice was missed. Don’t worry I very much learnt to my detriment.

I thought it was just a joke, surely most people don’t actually consider doing something like that 🤔

1000% agree with this.

Carbonated bottles can heat up in summer and the content can break the seal and spill. Cans can explode in very hot cars. It'll depend on how long you'll keep the bottle or can in the car and on the weather.

Don't be a people pleaser or let them get into the habit of coming to you with all their problems so you feel like a therapist
(I've stopped and it's much more peaceful)

Always check if a partner says they have sorted out insurance (car or home).

When I got the renewal notice a few years ago (car's in my name), I told DP that I couldn't be arsed to faff about on a comparison site because the new premium was only a couple of quid more than the last time. DP insisted on checking and proudly announced that he'd managed to save a massive £11. I told him to go ahead and pay it and a few days later, he assured me he had.

Almost 3 months later, I got a letter from DVLA saying that my car wasn't insured, reminding me not to use it until it was and suggesting I consider SORNing it. I'd been driving round without insurance for nearly 3 months.

I couldn't even have a go at him, because he'd died 6 weeks earlier, the fucker.

I see why you are saying that but there is a lot to be said for the posters point - perhaps not how she said it.

The notion that love conquers all and that a marriage will survive on love alone is over sold.

Practical matters can destroy love as the daily grind hardens hearts.

Having the courage to have those conversations before becoming legally entangled could go a long way to staving off the terrible complications of divorce.

I think all women but especially young women should be encouraged in this.

Most police forces in the UK do in fact operate a 10% +2mph tolerance for enforcement* *so the lowest speed they will issue a fixed penalty or prosecute for will be e.g. 35mph in a 30 or 79mph in a 70. This was even spelled out in the explanatory letter the police sent to me along with my NIP.

It's not every police force that abides by this though, and it is discretionary. It's not the law, either, so it's not a defence to say you were "only" doing 31 in a 30.

This is where I think people get confused - there's a difference between "can I be done for 71 in a 70" (answer: yes) and "will I..." (answer: probably not, but it depends on where exactly in the UK you are driving).

Thanks @LetTheCardsFallWhereTheyMay that’s fascinating

If you're buying an expensive item online (eg garden furniture for £2K) then check, double check and triple check the company if it's not a well known one. Do a check on Trustpilot to see what others have to say.

I could have saved myself a whole lot of bother if I'd done this. I'm usually very good with scam websites, but got fooled this particular time. The customer service had been exemplary during the buying process and naturally went deathly quiet once I realised I wasn't getting my furniture and tried to get my money back. Eventually managed to get a charge back through the bank, but it caused a whole lot of heartache at a time when DH was going through cancer treatment.

Some of these are really handy to know

It’s exhausting. People really need to lighten up!

What makes you think I'd want your advice ? I dont think lying about gps dying is funny, you do you

Or just don't do poorly in your exams - this isn't for absence - it's for exam consideration of mitigating circumstances.
Not everyone can do excellently in their exams even if they DO like their course but the proper course would be to take responsibility for your poor performance, whether or not you like university.

@LargeSquareRock unfortunately however much you plan for common eventualities you can't always plan for how your mind might change (yes we want children, but if it doesn't happen we'll be chill with being child free - and then finding you are NOT actually chill with it - we definitely want to bring up children in London - but then one of you doesn't - you both want to work - but then one of you gets made redundant - you both want to work full time - but then one of your children has medical needs). And that's not taking into account the bloke that turns into a knob the minute the ink is dried on the register.

Never pay upfront

This is perfect timing as we're just about to buy a keysafe, but what/how does the cord attach to on the inside?? All the safes I've seen so far only have a loose hook in the keysafe not a ring/similar, so there's no way to keep the curly cord attached to the keysafe.

but by your logic, 99% of marriages shouldn't happen

Do a pregnancy test before handing your notice in 🤦‍♀️

So true. This happened to me many, many years ago. I had a job offer but there was something about my future manager that stopped me from accepting it. I plucked up the courage to make a phone call to someone in the team I'd met at interview. It was all very cloak and dagger, but she quietly confirmed each and every suspicion I had of the manager's personality. She was desperate to leave herself. I was so grateful to her for being honest.

The worst thing was that after I'd turned down the job the manager personally called to ask me if I'd heard anything that had put me off it. I denied all knowledge pretty convincingly, but I did feel sorry for her team. What a lucky escape.

I'm very sorry for your loss but I was not expecting the last line of your post 😅

To add to that - I tell my teenage DDs not to take any photo on their phones they wouldn't be happy to have posted all over school or college.