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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To find this a bit petty at work?

59 replies

Tohellandbeyond · 02/06/2024 08:39

I work in a brilliant team of people, a few months back we merged with another team. I think management and maybe some others were hoping for us to all bond/click etc. However it just hasn't happened, not through lack of trying.

It's a very young team, I think the average age is around 24, not sure if this makes much difference? Most of them seem lovely and will chat to you, a couple of them will come to organised work events.

Understandably people already have their established friendship groups and are sometimes reluctant to add new ones, however we hot desk and people moving seats annoys me a little.

There is a woman I've been seated next to twice, I've tried to strike up conversation with her a couple of times, she was polite but clearly not interested in talking to me which is fine, she doesn't owe me anything. However on both occasions she has moved desks as soon as a seat next to one of her friends became available.
As far as I'm aware I don't smell bad or have any weird habits, I seem to get on with most people.

On Friday a second woman also moved next to her friend and they left me on a bank alone. I just think it's a bit petty, this isn't school.
I'm sure they can survive a few hours without sitting next to their best friend. Plus, management have specifically told people not to swap desks unless for good reason.

OP posts:
betterangels · 02/06/2024 10:17

wizarddry · 02/06/2024 10:07

Except the manager has expressly said no swapping desks. They are clearly trying to get the team to unite and it one happen while people are stuck in their silos

I read that. I think they're on a road to nowhere.

I appreciate that I wouldn't fit in in that company because what I would find annoying and overbearing is management trying to 'bond' grown adults. I work to make a living not more friends. As long as colleagues deliver to deadlines and are polite, that should be enough. But I appreciate that is my opinion.

wizarddry · 02/06/2024 10:34

betterangels · 02/06/2024 10:17

I read that. I think they're on a road to nowhere.

I appreciate that I wouldn't fit in in that company because what I would find annoying and overbearing is management trying to 'bond' grown adults. I work to make a living not more friends. As long as colleagues deliver to deadlines and are polite, that should be enough. But I appreciate that is my opinion.

They might not be trying to make them bond but rather learn from someone who was in the other team. It makes perfect sense and most grown adults would just do it

LlynTegid · 02/06/2024 10:36

People who are suddenly polite because they want something from you would get a slower response than those who don't ignore you otherwise.

Nocturna · 02/06/2024 12:16

I don’t understand, so the ‘other’ team are friends and prefer to sit together. Your original team are friendly, so why don’t you just sit with them?

Sunnytwobridges · 02/06/2024 13:44

I worked in a group that did the hot desking/hoteling thing. All the people under 35 would save seats for each other or get up and move to sit near their friends. Altho I was in my 40s I felt it was rude and hurtful. I can sit next to anyone and be chatty and friendly. It felt like grade school and having to deal with being unpopular. Was so glad to finally leave that group

wizarddry · 02/06/2024 14:45

Nocturna · 02/06/2024 12:16

I don’t understand, so the ‘other’ team are friends and prefer to sit together. Your original team are friendly, so why don’t you just sit with them?

The manager is trying to get them all to mingle

wizzywig · 02/06/2024 14:47

I'd sit with her people you know are her friends just to make them squirm

Tohellandbeyond · 02/06/2024 15:01

wizarddry · 02/06/2024 14:45

The manager is trying to get them all to mingle

We are assigned desks by management, they don't let us sit where we choose

OP posts:
Nocturna · 02/06/2024 15:01

wizarddry · 02/06/2024 14:45

The manager is trying to get them all to mingle

But I’m presuming they aren’t school children

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