To dislike it when men post on mumsnet?

[N225NNW]

I find it annoying. Why can’t they use their own men’s websites? Of which there are many!

*Note I put a thread up like this last night. Then went to bed. When I woke up this morning, it had been deleted by MN. Not sure what went on there..

@Newbutoldfather

‘Except I never did that. The OP and many of you are, though.’

Nope. I never did that either. Read again.

Why do I need to look up ‘probably’ (written not spoken so no speech marks required)?

I NC often, to stop the one stalker originally. But now there are a few. Disconcerting.

Sometimes I just want women’s voices (children or no children), without men sticking their oar in.

I find this position fascinating. It's a forum, by parents for parents, and yet you'd rather have female non-parents give their advice and opinions on your parenting, than a male parent who is 100% more qualified?

Are you suggesting we restrict male access to certain topics?

If so, probably wise that us child free women are limited to other topics - perhaps, litter tray and TV which in many ways have nothing to do with the core purpose of this site (parenting) so maybe should leave with the men?

In a society, everyone's perspective is relevant and fair. Doesn't mean you have to like or agree with it. By putting your position or bias at the front, I can understand a little more why your experience may be different to mine and show a little more empathy. Doesn't mean I have to agree, take the advice or get drawn into debate, but it helps us all understand each other.

Have you come across many childless women telling parents not to post?

Are the parents of dead children allowed to post?

Because some of Mumsnet's most loved and well-known posters have had the temerity to have their children die.

See? You're a prime example frankly, of the kind of man that perhaps the OP has a tiny point about.

I'm an English teacher with a PhD in linguistics.
I wouldn't try and take me on about SpaG as well as all the other bollocks you're spouting.

Look up "quoting".

Eh? You quoted me and still got it wrong. I said women’s voices (children or no children).

Which means women. Women who have children and women who don’t have children. The common factor, being women’s voices. It doesn’t have to be about parenting. In fact I rarely read posts about parenting on mumsnet.

I've always assumed the 'by parents for parents' was MNHQ needing to avoid getting on the wrong side of equality rules, without actually changing the intention to have a predominantly women's site, so citing the tagine doesn't feel like a gotcha to me.

What about what Justine herself said when Mn was set up? Are you dismissing that too?

So am I. I’m a man too 👀

Anyway, you didn’t use the word ‘probably’ in your original post.

@ASighMadeOfStone ,

If you really are so well qualified then why have you totally misunderstood my clearly worded post?!

I don’t have any problem with anyone posting: full stop.

What I do have a problem with is someone not captured by the strap line on this site ‘by parents for parents’ telling other people (men, in this thread) that they resent them posting, even if they are involved parents and have been here years.

Just like this incredibly entitled pp and the rest of those who are agreeing with this pp.

So set up your own forum where you have some magic way of selecting only women as members.

Why are childfree women welcome on Mumsnet but not men? They don't fit the site name equally.

(FWIW, I think everyone is welcome on MN. The anonymity means that I have no idea who or what they are anyway.)

Everyone should be welcome to post on MN.

There are some topics (a brief glitch recently that caused the sex topics to show in active very clearly revealed) where a disproportionate number men like to hang about.

I have also found them to sometimes 'overstep' in threads around domestic abuse/sexual offences. There was one male poster who said he was a police officer arguing over and over with women about their experiences with the criminal justice system and it was bordering on harassment for me.

But this comment is plainly wrong:

What a nasty thread. Imagine wanting to exclude a whole group of people just because you want to be amongst your own kind.

There are such spaces on MN which are designed for, say, black or Jewish mumsnetters and that is perfectly proper and understandable.

There's nothing inherently wrong with having a safe space for people to come together. And I think that is where some posters struggle with men in the main MN boards.

MN is hated by a certain category of men who feel threatened by women speaking up and helping other women find their voice. I think we are sometimes rightly suspicious of the motives of some men on some topics where a male perspective is unlikely to assist.

MN has taught me a lot over the decade and a half I have been here and I know that it would be less important a community to me if it were a 50/50 split between men and women. It is greatly enhanced as an experience by the fact that the vast majority of posters are women and I enjoy their insight, wisdom and humour.

Thanks @NashvilleQueen

I agree and your post is far more coherent than mine have been. Appreciated.

You quoted me and still missed the point.

Mumsnet is designed for parents and carers. By definition, that involves people of both sexes. And sure, the mission and demographic may have changed since it started but that's evolution.

Men are still the minority on this forum and can add a different view with their voices but if you don't like it and have confirmation it's a man, ignore the post.

More widely though, if half the population and their 'voices' offend you, google women's only forums and find (or build) your own space.

I hate this ridiculous ‘menz’ word!!

@ConfusedGin

Bless. They don’t offend me. They annoy me. Particularly when they’re popping up on the fwr and relationships boards, where frankly, their input is usually at best unwNted, at worst destructive.

Yeah. Me too.

I'm not sure, men aren't a minority that face discrimination or exclusion though, I don't think it's analogous. That's why there are spaces for groups within organisations, political parties etc for those groups. You don't have a Labour Party friends of Men group for example.

Maybe a flag that could be added to threads that men aren't wanted on?

We have a really good Women's Centre locally, I wouldn't want access to it, but it's open to men to donate to.

I don't like men posting because it usually goes like this:

Man posts about ex, seemingly a lovely, patient, kind man who used to do ALL the housework, treated his wife wonderfully, and from the description of themselves, they were an actual saint in the marriage. Always hinting at unreasonable behaviour from their partner, but never actually saying it outright.

Women read between the lines and suggest this may not be the wife's recollection of the marriage.

Man turns nasty after a few more posts and his true colours shine through, ending with misogynistic statements like 'all you women are the same' etc etc.

Admittedly, this is not every post and there are a couple of sensible men who use this forum, but that's how I see it anyway.

The OP wants men to be excluded from the whole site though, not from specific boards only. So your comparison doesn’t work.

The irony.

"It is incredibly entitled to think that you can repurpose a site, especially if you are childless. I.E not an intended user (clearly different if you are trying to conceive or otherwise in some kind of parental role)."

Your extremely clearly worded opinion on the childless. And indeed, people who are Mumsnet's "intended users".

I'll ask my question again. What about posters who are childless because their children are dead? Can they post going by your rules or not?

Are you quite new here @N225NNW ? This discussion has gone on forever.

It is a site for parents. A man is unlikely to be wanking while reading your posts about awful school run mums or what to have for dinner.

I think if people want a female only "safe space"

they can just create one instead of moaning against an existing site, and then manage it to keep it inline with their agenda.

I am not even going to bother explaining to them how funny "safe space" and "anonymous internet forum" sound in the same sentence...

Same