What’s up with the ‘out and about’ brigade?

[Nayouknow]

You know the ones. ‘I like to be out and about’ brigade. The ‘I’d be climbing the walls if I didn’t leave the house every day’ crew. The people who view time spent in their homes to be ‘wasted’ and time spent outside it to somehow automatically be more rewarding/interesting/energising/virtuous/insert positive.

I’ve only really come across this sort of mentality on MN and I find it fascinating. What’s their deal? Do they not like their homes? Do they have no indoor pursuits that they enjoy enough to be occupied for one day? Is it the actual outside air (not to be confused with the air in their gardens, as those of them who have gardens are generally very clear that hanging out in the garden isn’t sufficient)? Are they hardcore extroverts?

Like everyone else I know, I like to go out and I like to stay in. Walks are nice. Activities are nice. Spending a weekend at home cooking/reading/watching box sets/playing with DS is also nice. Based on their comments, the aforementioned crew would consider the latter a ‘wasted weekend’.

We're all different.

In my case, it's because I'm widowed and it's the only time I see other people.

I have no children of my own, no siblings and spent more than 20 yrs working full time and caring for adult relatives. My social skills are - as you may have guessed - not terribly well developed.

It's been suggested that I'm on the spectrum. Quite possible: I got a formal diagnosis of OCD when I was 36 and once one younger family member was diagnosed with Asperger's, it made a lot of sense with regard to other family members. I worked as a secondary school teacher, but found that I could put on an act in the classroom. The one area where I sometimes slipped was with eye contact.

I was fine when my DH was still here, but find the need to get out of the house now. I often go to a farm cafe that DH and I frequented: I can watch the fields from my chair, have lunch and listen to the chatter around me.

I am much more a home and shut up shutters type!

They might get bored in their homes I guess

Two words: London housing.
Two more words: Grown DC.
Last words: Hate cooking.

I’ve found it to largely be the other way around: if you mention doing anything more exotic with your children than a trip to the park you get lots of huffy replies about how it’s good for children to be bored and involving them in household chores is actually really exciting for them!

Some people draw their energy from interacting with other people and their environment. Others draw their energy from within and prefer to be in their own space. People are different. I don't think that's particularly tricky to understand.

This made me laugh. 🤣

Fair enough.

YABU for shoving this in AIBU

If I stay home all day I barely do any steps. If I want to hit 10000 or whatever arbitrary number we are using, I need to leave the house. It's good to get the body moving. And if you have no garden it's the best way to get some fresh air. I just feel sluggish if I don't leave the house. Doesn't have to be that far ( although 10000 steps is a good aim) but we are meant to move.

On which note, I must go and sort that stuff in the garden!

So, they’re extroverts. Which is one of the options I suggested.

No idea but after a really full on week at work I like chilling at home. I go for a run with the dog early then cook lunch then watch a film with the family and read etc. I also love going out and about but I dont feel a pressure to do so every weekend.

I have a work colleague who is always like "what are you doing for the weekend?" and seems to have endless family events or social obligations. Whenever I say nothing or as little as possible she always seems to be shocked. It makes me chuckle because I cant think of anything worse than spending literally every weekend having to go here there and everywhere.

It depends, I used to be very much a homebody but as Im getting older Im a bit more wanting to do 'stuff'. And Ive also noticed a pattern that if we do nothing at the weekend but stay at home, it feels as if there was nothing between starting work again on Monday to when I finished on Friday. If we go out and do different things, it feels longer and more of a gap and thats important to me

That’s very fair. It never really occurs to me to use ‘Chat’, but that is where this belongs.

Honestly I like a bit of both and I think that’s true of most people. But what I like about “out” is it’s less predictable. If you stay in you pretty much know what you’re going to do, and see and who you’ll talk to. When you go out, anything can happen. You can’t control your environment and I think that’s actually beneficial as it stops you falling into your own personal comfort blanket. You meet randoms, random things happen etc.

I am in my 50s and have had enough of being domestic. I am now out every chance I get. Need to make the most of the next 20 years before I lose my health.

I'd go mad if I wasn't able to get out in fresh air and nature 2 or 3 times a day. Not to be with people, just outside listening to birds, or getting plastered in wet mud, or running in the pissing rain - no matter what the weather I'm pacing the house if i don't get outside.

I can't understand people who don't want to get outside as much as possible, it's not normal 🙂

In our case, it's lazy parenting 😆 - DD is so much easier if we're out somewhere like a playground/ going for a walk and burning off energy, whereas at home it's too easy to resort to tv. I also feel less bad about not doing any cleaning/chores if I've been out.

I have a serious illness. If i stay in bed i feel "ill" so if im up ans about i fewl better (or at least its a distraction!)

This is the sort of thing I mean. I’m like you, and the idea of ceaseless activity is really quite horrible.

I was reading a post the other day where the OP generally just pottered about home + garden with her DC, most weekends. Some of the responses were genuinely horrified. It’s really interesting.

I live on my own. I need to be around people in the day. I'm happy to stay in, in the evening if I have no plans. Even if I only go for a walk and sit in a coffee shop. It's just good to get a change of scene.

Easier than pulling the kids off screens all day for us!!!

Some people get bored easily.
Some have dc who very much need exercising.
Some really do just love being outside a lot.
Some enjoy virtue signalling about the moral superiority of being busy, active and outside.

There's nothing up with us, we just have different preferences to you.
I'm an introvert but I am energised by spending time in nature and exercising.
I enjoy some time relaxing at home in the evenings. If I stay home all day I easily get restless and the evenings aren't as enjoyable.

I have a 3 year old and a baby. My 3 year old is high energy, a day at home one of them always needs me to do something and my dd runs around a lot and I have to run around too. Out the house she burns off energy, the baby gets some fresh air and I get to do something interesting like look at animals at a farm park or run around a soft play or park which is more fun then running around my living room. We also have a lot of friends to see and I don’t always want to tidy up at home so it’s easier to see them out the house.