What’s up with the ‘out and about’ brigade?

[Nayouknow]

You know the ones. ‘I like to be out and about’ brigade. The ‘I’d be climbing the walls if I didn’t leave the house every day’ crew. The people who view time spent in their homes to be ‘wasted’ and time spent outside it to somehow automatically be more rewarding/interesting/energising/virtuous/insert positive.

I’ve only really come across this sort of mentality on MN and I find it fascinating. What’s their deal? Do they not like their homes? Do they have no indoor pursuits that they enjoy enough to be occupied for one day? Is it the actual outside air (not to be confused with the air in their gardens, as those of them who have gardens are generally very clear that hanging out in the garden isn’t sufficient)? Are they hardcore extroverts?

Like everyone else I know, I like to go out and I like to stay in. Walks are nice. Activities are nice. Spending a weekend at home cooking/reading/watching box sets/playing with DS is also nice. Based on their comments, the aforementioned crew would consider the latter a ‘wasted weekend’.

There is nothing that gives energy the way food gives energy. 🤦🏻‍♀️

If you bothered to read the thread you'd see that it doesn't stop at "I couldn't stay inside".

Depressed, stuck,lazy, not normal,agoraphobic (to someone who walks the dog, goes to the shops and gym) , "yes I do judge people who stay inside" are just of the few comments that I remember.

1. I work from home. That’s 37 hours right there already spent at home every week.
2. I have small children, one of whom is diagnosed with ASD and has incredible high energy. He would quite happily stay inside and play all day every day but I would quite like a break from pretending to be an animal family.
3. I just like being outside in the sunshine and seeing beautiful places, even more beautiful than my wee house

I have to be “out and about” reason is - anxiety about all the jobs that need doing at home, I hate mess and the house is always in some sort of mess, so I have to be out to avoid this feeling. I also get bored being in during the day. I’m an introvert and love walking alone with my dog.

I become restless if I'm in one place for too long. My eldest daughter is exactly the same shes a bounce off the walls type kids and needed to get out in nature and exercise to regulate. Youngest (and my husband) would happily potter around the house without the need to leave.

Interestingy, I had thought about a home birth for my second child. We have lovely house and garden and it was a beautiful summer night when i.went into labour, but when the time came I felt much better marching around the hospital corridors. I felt again restless and inhibited pacing around at home.

I had the same feeling staying in an all inclusive hotel. By day 2 I just wanted to leave.

My worst nightmare is to be confined and not able to leave- prison/ hospital/ nursing home etc

Several at home activities were mentioned, though. Why are they all homing in on watching tv?

I'm an introvert but pre COVID I would have times where being home made me feel panicky and I had to go out but due to not liking people I would head to the countryside
Our house was on sheilding and I got too used to being in the house and then had the problem of not wanting to go out lol

Some people do like to tell others about there love of going out and doing stuff but I don't know, I feel they are only a few like that, they are just probably more vocal than those who don't like going out at all and those who are more balanced between the two

Bear in mind that some of us like being out and about because it helps our mental health. Or we enjoy time chilling at home but weekends are precious and we want our kids to see and experience things beyond the same 4 walls every weekend. Time at home or out and about is never wasted time but we have our reasons for the way we raise our kids

There’s nothing in the post about not going out on weekends or anything about how people raise their kids.

I'm naturally quite an anxious person. We have a big area of woods opposite our house and several large parks nearby. I feel instantly calm and peaceful the second I step intp nature. The act of walking seems to really soothe my brain and release endorphins.
If I stay in, I'm always aware of the chores that need to be done!

100% agree!

I feel like there is loads of judgement on here about not being able to keep your children entertained at home helping you with the washing and "chilling"

I guess I am in the out and about brigade. I am an introvert so it's not so much about socialising, I probably socialise less than the average person. It's a combination of:

I have an office job - hybrid working - so I feel like I get a lot of time being sedentary

I get bored easily, I am not good at doing nothing. I like reading and read 1-2 books a week on average but that still leaves several hours a day at the weekend

The kids are so much better behaved when they get time out of the house

I feel like half of Mumsnet is obsessed with the idea of "chilling" at home but whenever we have tried this, we end up grumpy and the kids are fractious after 2-3 hours.

I am an out and about person, but also an introvert. I don't go out to meet people, but to get exercise, see things, eat, look at people etc. I don't see it as a moral choice, just what I like to do with my day.

In the spring and summer I find being at home much more enjoyable because we spend time in the garden.

If we spend a day doing gardening (can do a good 5+ hours of gardening easily, and with lots of tea breaks and lunch and enjoying the sun it can spread to most of the day) with the kids “helping” and playing outside too, it’s hardly a wasted day. There were minimal screens, lots and lots of fresh air and son and kids running around and getting exercise etc etc. Also bonus - it’s free!

I find school holidays in the wet and cold just so much tougher. On the days we just stay at home there is more TV than I’d be happy with really, and I just feel like I’m constantly tidying and cleaning just to go to bed with the house feeling grubby and messy despite my best efforts.

We are all different. But what’s strange is that some people alway think their way is more virtuous.

Another example is the morning people calling anyone who’s not up at the crack of Dawn on weekends “lazy” - totally ignoring that they might be doing productive things well into the evening.

Some people draw their energy from interacting with other people

Then that response to a specific comment, which describes extroverts, isn’t about you.

Oooh, God, yes! Someone ought to start a thread about that! Larks thinking they’re in some way morally superior to night owls.

For me it's just down to the weather When weather is lovely I hate being in the house , I feel every good day of weather is going to be the last and if I have to be in house for whatever reason its the end of the world and I'm missing out lol , especially if weather has been good while at work. However when the weather is rubbish and it's raining , apart from taking dog for walk, you'll be lucky to get me out 🤣

Yes but interestingly I see both sides of this difference being a bit like this

Loads and loads of posts saying that it's good for children to be bored and everyone needs time at home to "chill" and insinuating people are intellectually unfulfilled if they don't have lots of indoor hobbies

And then also posts saying that not getting out every day is bad for your health etc

I think most people are up for a mix of both, as described in the OP. The people at the extreme ends of the spectrum (both ends), do tend to sneer and proselytise, I agree. Some of the responses on this thread being excellent cases in point.

I see it a lot on MN, that certain activities are viewed as more virtuous. I rarely experience it in real life. In fact I can only think of two times off the top of my head.
Classics are larks being more virtuous than night owls, as mentioned up thread, and reading being the most virtuous hobby/activity of all, and that books are never classed as a treat, just an essential, almost mundane part of life that their children can have as many as they want of, even hardbacks at £10+ a pop.

Oooh, God, yes! Someone ought to start a thread about that! Larks thinking they’re in some way morally superior to night owls.

Presumably that's because going to bed really late is quite often unintentional (sitting up watching crap on tv or scrolling on phones) or linked to late nights drinking or whatever. I realise for sone people it's just how their bodyclock works, but lots of people seem to berate themselves for not going to bed earlier but don't manage to. Whereas getting up early is mostly a choice or caused by something genuinely beyond your control.

My DH is an introvert and charges his batteries having quiet time at home. I'm an extrovert and charge my batteries by being out and about and socialising. One isn't better than the other, we're all different.

YABU. Our house is small and our “garden” is a tiny courtyard. We have a 5 year old DS who, frankly, needs exercising twice a day like a puppy! I also do a lot better mentally when I’ve been out for a walk.

Come rain or shine, unless we are ill, we leave the house. If only for extra curricular activities for DS, a food shop, church or a trip to the playground.

We’ve never had a big house or garden, but one of the few bits of my parenting I’m proud of is how “outdoorsy” my little boy is. Not because outdoors is inherently better than indoors, but because he loves nature, country walks and happily goes out with us exploring rather than insisting on screen time. That’s a fight I’m trying to stave off for as long as possible, but frankly I need to get out each day anyway, so we all go out together.

@WearyAuldWumman I’m very sorry for your loss. 💐

There's nothing better (for me) than a good weekend spent inside the confines of my own home.

I can always find something to amuse myself with, and I find myself getting anxious if I have to go out too often-especially when I'm off work-for some reason, my brain thinks it's a waste of time that could be better spent at home.

So, I sometimes don't tell anyone that I've booked days off work just so I get left alone. I know-how asocial of me-but if I tell people-it instantly becomes a battle for my time and sometimes, I just can't be fussed.

But I get that that's not for everyone. Some people need to leave the house to feel like they've done something with their day and been productive-and that's obviously fine. People are all different.

What I don't like is when posters come on here when some describes how they prefer lazy days spent at home in their PJs that they feel the need to point out how superior they obviously are because they leave their homes and don't wear PJs in their own homes.

They're often the same people who rabbit on and on about how weird the people are on here who don't like people visiting them unannounced, and how weird that some people don't answer calls from unknown numbers. It's almost performative extroversion at that point. "Look at me! I just love being around people so much that I'll open my door to anyone and let them in. I'll run to answer the phone, even if I've no idea who it is or what they want and I've just jumped out the shower!"

It's performative and seems to play into a superiority complex some people on here feel about just how social they are and how terrible it is that some of us aren't like them.

For clarity-I don't care if you actually answer your door/phone to every Tom, Dick or Harry or need to be out every second of every day to feel productive-you do you-what I care about is the way that some posters on here lord it over others who aren't the same way as them. You know-some of us are introverts or have social anxiety etc and some of us just can't be bothered to answer every damn call that gets made to our phones. 😂