What’s up with the ‘out and about’ brigade?

[Nayouknow]

You know the ones. ‘I like to be out and about’ brigade. The ‘I’d be climbing the walls if I didn’t leave the house every day’ crew. The people who view time spent in their homes to be ‘wasted’ and time spent outside it to somehow automatically be more rewarding/interesting/energising/virtuous/insert positive.

I’ve only really come across this sort of mentality on MN and I find it fascinating. What’s their deal? Do they not like their homes? Do they have no indoor pursuits that they enjoy enough to be occupied for one day? Is it the actual outside air (not to be confused with the air in their gardens, as those of them who have gardens are generally very clear that hanging out in the garden isn’t sufficient)? Are they hardcore extroverts?

Like everyone else I know, I like to go out and I like to stay in. Walks are nice. Activities are nice. Spending a weekend at home cooking/reading/watching box sets/playing with DS is also nice. Based on their comments, the aforementioned crew would consider the latter a ‘wasted weekend’.

My eldest and I need to get out every day. I don’t think we are morally superior. We are restless, high energy, stimulation craving people. It’s becoming increasingly apparent we both likely have ADHD.

My youngest and my husband are fine at home. They like going out but they aren’t climbing the walls after a day at home. They are much easier going and probably more likeable people than DC1 and I, so I struggle with understanding the superiority of ‘out and about’ people as you put it.

Thank you - that's good to know.

I worked with a few teenagers on the spectrum when I was a HoD in a secondary school. I recall holding a conversation with one lad and it was like speaking to a male version of teen me.

I have two small children and I can't bear playing pretend, or playing with toys, or doing arts and crafts , and they make these things happen to me if we stay inside

When they were younger I didn’t allow mine much access to screens for lots of reasons so it was easier to occupy them by getting out of the house. Otherwise it was endless Lego, playing imaginary games and puzzles at home - good but hard for 10 hours straight.
Therefore trips to the park, local fields and so on were a big part of the day.
I never had PJ days or sofa days or whatever they were called where everyone just vegged out in front of TV or on games consoles/iPads. These are much less attractive without screens.

That particular poster said they never did anything at the weekends which is odd. No parties, no swimming, no parks. Nothing. So yes to me that was very extreme (and I have regular PJ days with my DC)

I find the biggest difference between my indoor friends and outdoor friends is how their kids behave indoors. My kids love a bit of downtime so we make it a regular thing. My close friend has two "outdoor" children who misbehave and get restless without a lot activity. She finds them easier to manage out of the house so they spend a lot of time out of the house.

I hear the same story over and over. Those who spend a lot of time out of the house do so because their kids prefer it / are easier to manage outside.

It would be interesting to see how many people with young DC stay at home all weekend. I’d go out of my mind doing that.

DH can do it with them, and when he has them often enough it’s a day at home pottering in the garden and building forts and that sort of thing, which I know they also need and benefit from hugely. On the other hand, I have to take them out for my own sanity. Not all day, but at least once a day. Having said that, my DH always used to say I needed ‘walked’ every day, even before we had DC so I think I’m just wired that way.

I’m definitely an introvert, so it’s not to do with having company (though it’s easier to have a coffee and a chat with a friend while the kids play with their friends, than to engage with the kids all day at home…). I just feel restless if I don’t get out and feel like I’m ’doing things’.

I like doing things at home, and I’m happy staying in in the evenings, but I find being cooped up at home all the time can feel monotonous. It does get easier when the DC play independently more, but I definitely feel like I’ve had more of a break over the weekend if we’ve been to do interesting things.

I’m not sure you need to care? How does it affect you? Are you insulted by others’ preferences?

I think it can depend on how you live and work. Do you have a large house and garden, or a small flat without even a balcony? Do you live alone or with a big family? Do you work from home or out of the house?

I live alone, but I have a garden, which I've done a lot of work on recently, so I like being out there. I'm very capable of spending time alone, and I am good at entertaining myself, be it reading, gardening, crafts, writing, housework, and I can spend all day at home doing things like that - but sometimes I need to see other people, even if it's just at the checkout in the corner shop - Zoom calls aren't the same (though they can still be better than nothing.) I rarely have the TV on in the day.

Besides, there are places and people I want to see sometimes. Art galleries, museums and the sea don't come to me, and as I don't have any dependents, it's often easier for me to travel to friends rather than vice versa, or we might meet half way.

But other people have different lives and personalities; if I were in a job where I was face-to-face with the public all the time, I'd probably need more time alone to balance it that way. Not everyone will want that balance in the same place that suits me, though.

I pay a lot money to live in my house, I like to get my money's worth

I hate being cooped up in the house during the day. It's beyond boring! I watch box-sets on a night after work! I don't want to sit in my garden cos it's no different from sitting inside! In other words, I don't want to sit! I sit at a desk 8.30 - 5pm Monday to Friday - I sit enough! My house is lovely, I enjoy being in it but I prefer to be out of it! The only change to this is Christmas when I shut the door as soon as I have done my big shop and don't open it again to go out til I'm due back at work in January! That's when I do my festering!

I say sod the human interaction, it's the fresh air that matters!

My reason is because I wfh Monday to Friday, and I just feel the need to get out and about on weekends just for a change of scenery. Can create problems with DH, as he works outdoors Monday to Friday, so he likes being home at the weekend to relax.

Dogs and children need daily exercise. I don’t feel the need to fill my days with activities or feel they’re wasted if I’ve stayed in but a daily walk is non negotiable. Otherwise they’d be digging up the garden and wrecking the furniture. The dogs would be annoying too.

I like being at home. I live by myself (although not for long!) and don't get bored or lonely. I think it's having a job where I'm on my feet and forever talking to lots of different people. Although currently I'm on annual leave until my maternity leave kicks in. Soon I won't have any time to myself so I'm enjoying it while I can! 😱

Everyone is just very different!

I do feel like a daily walk somewhere green in daylight helps my MH, but that’s me.

I prefer being outside the house but I agree there’s a small cohort of people who seem to think it indicates a better, more salt of the earth, more dynamic person. They’re the ones who walked their older children to school up a 3 mile hill 20 minutes after giving birth, claim to enjoy being outside in the pissing rain ‘because there’s no such thing as the wrong weather just the wrong clothes’ and consider 9am to be mid afternoon.

I live in a flat (that I like), my kids are grown, I work from home, don't have a car but I leave my home 3-5 times a day because I have a dog. Have had dogs for a long time so my body is used to 3-4 walks a day and it's good for me both mentally and physically. It's even good for my eye sight and going for a walk within 20 minutes of eating lowers your cholesterol, the list of pro's is long. I am not going outside because I think I'm virtous, I do it because it's what my body needs. I am quite extroverted though so it's nice to break up the day and have little chats with other people. There isn't really a day when I don't leave the house because even if I'm sick the dog needs to go out.

Absolutely couldn't be bothered.

My Monday - Friday is a load of busy nonsense, so by the weekend I'd like to wear my scruffiest clothes and chill out at home, in the peace and quiet. It's only possible once every fortnight and I'm taking it!

I also don't particularly like humans, so the less time I spend having to speak to them the better.

On the non-chilled weekends we quite regularly take my partners little boy for early morning drives and see people rambling about at 7/7:30am. Where are you going and why is it that important, just sit down 😂.

I can’t stay at home all day without feeling really depressed. I have to go out. WFH would be a form of torture for me. I hate housework and doing home improvements so getting out helps me avoid these things. I feel weighed down with the responsibility of the house.

Hmm... I think I might be one of these people. I certainly don't think my mentality is superior though and I actually get jealous of people who stay in and do nothing... It sounds wonderful!

But, I get very bored very quickly. I need to be doing something all the time, and I find if I haven't done something 'productive' that day, then I start to feel quite down. I have a huge amount of energy to burn and two large dogs to walk. I'm also an extrovert so love getting out to meet people.

It's pretty exhausting though 😅. And tbh it's a problem sometimes... I just don't know when/how to stop 🙈

I love being outdoors, I am pretty energetic and can’t sit still. I’m going through an adhd diagnosis and which may explain things…

I love exploring, going to things with the kids, I run, play for a sports team, have a decent amount of friends. A day in feels a bit strange to me! I do like my house, it’s me that’s the issue 😂

Protestant work ethic. The need to be doing something. PIL are very much like this, disapproving if we haven’t been out for a run and a cycle by 7am…

I am quite high energy, up early and always need stimulation, but it didn't occur to me that I need to seek an ADHD diagnosis. Hmm...

This. (My MIL is the same!)

I agree, OP. These things are so often said with an air of superiority.