Would you cancel? Important family event including many over 80s. Host has woken up with Covid

[loveyouradvice]

Just that really - my partner, the host, has Covid.

We have 30 people coming to our house for an important family event today. All cooking and prep done. My partner central to it - big speech planned etc. (Not a birthday)

I am so out of the loop on how people are around Covid now

Two options
YABU - My partner - the host - isolates self having finished final prep
YANBU - Postpone event until Sept. Not worth risking over 80s getting Covid. Host is integral to event. Everyone more relaxed and just a shame this is how it is

Yes my mum spent the last year of her life miserable and lonely due to lockdowns. She was never afraid of being infected with covid. She definitely would've attended the event. And was of sound mind to make this decision

BTW she never did catch covid so all the isolation and misery she suffered was totally unnecessary

I lost both my mum and dad to covid - albeit before vaccinations were available. They were both in their 60s but medically vulnerable. I'd cancel. I wouldn't put anyone else through that.

It's a nice day I was still serve the food with all the windows open and DH in the garden 2m away from everyone.
Postpone the official event though

Yes, official event postponed.... will enjoy food and flowers with open windows and raise a glass... Thanks for advice all

You test in the course of your work, which is clearly not what we are talking about here.

Covid has changed actually, multiple times since 2020.

Humans have changed too. We have built immunity via exposure and vaccines.

Attitudes have changed also. How many of these 80+ year olds will still be around in 6 months for a rearranged date? Someone else may be ill then anyway. People don't want to miss out like they did in lockdowns, life is too short.

I wouldn’t want my elderly parents to attend. My mother caught covid recently from a visitor to her home and she was quite unwell and says she feels that if she caught it again, she wouldn’t be strong enough to get through it. She hasn’t had the last few vaccines either as she was too unwell to get to the vaccination centre.

How many of these 80+ year olds will still be around in 6 months for a rearranged date?

If they're unlikely to last 6 months then definitely don't risk covid.

You have to let everyone know at the very least. My healthy uncle died from covid at 78.

At leasr give them the choice

”covid” still seems to attract an almost visceral reaction in some people, ironically the people who loudly proclaim we should be over it appear to be the ones who aren't when they react the most.

I wouldn’t host many over 80s if I knowingly had a bad cold/covid/norovirus or any other contagious illness.

Since nurses still have to go to work if positive. I'd just carry on.

Tough one!

Are all the oldies up to date with vaccinations? If so I think I’d ask them how they feel.

Same dilemma here last Chr. Eve. Drove 60 miles with a car full of food and presents to dd2, where we were staying the night before the big day chez dd1.
As we already knew, dd2 had a cold. She’d said previously that it wasn’t too bad and she hadn’t tested for COVID since she had no tests.

So we took one, and after we’d been with her a couple of hours, she tested.
Straightaway a clear positive.😩. Had honestly not expected it.

If it had been just family, none of us would have bothered - we’d all had it before - but dd1 was also expecting a family from another country - who were off very soon to elderly parents back home, some of whom were def. CEV.

So no choice really - back in the car, 60 mile drive home - but we did retain some of the smoked salmon and gammon, so not a total washout, food wise.🙂

Personally I'd postpone. There were still over 300 deaths in a week a few months ago (ONS).

It's not worth the risk really if you know they are elderly/vulnerable.

My OH died of COVID in march. It's still deadly to the CEV.

Postpone it's not worth it.

I'm so sorry. That must have been incredibly hard.

My other half lost an aunt and uncle in their 50s, nothing underlying. People are quick to forget.

BTW she never did catch covid so all the isolation and misery she suffered was totally unnecessary

This is the funniest statement on a serious topic I can imagine. Yes! It was pouring down rain but my umbrella kept me so dry that I barely noticed. So I don’t see why I needed it after all. Next time I won’t bother with an umbrella as I can just walk out in the storm.

Or: I wore my seatbelt and never got into a car crash so what a waste!

I am 100% covid cautious and wouldn’t choose to come knowing this information BUT you could just tell everyone and let them make up their own minds. Most over 80s had opp for spring vax.
I honestly wouldn’t go to a party these days and expect no one to have Covid there anyway. lol. There will be someone.

The issue with giving the choice is some won’t come. It depends how you feel about that. Plus in September- someone will have Covid. Just unlikely the host again.

I wouldn't. So you must give them a choice. I would be livid if i thought anyone had concealed any illness i could get from you

It's hardly funny. Due to the covid restrictions the GP only did phone consultation and kept sending antibiotics for a chest infection that she didn't have. Totally missed her heart failure.

So she was isolated to " protect" her yet in the end the covid restrictions killed her. Not the disease but the restrictions.

Hence if everyone hadn't been so obsessed with covid she would have had treatment and possibly still been alive. I'm sure there are plenty of others this affected as well

I'd ask.
I'm half their age but had covid recently and it's floored me for 3 weeks.
It's worth people remembering that it isn't just a cold for some.
I'd generally attend if host was isolating, but the knowledge before would help me decide whether to go.

She could have died of Covid, though? Millions did. And she could have passed it on to others.

I would never have tested personally but what's the point in testing if even if positive you are wanting to go ahead?

Postpone.

To be fair I would be very annoyed if someone knowingly gave me the flu. And I've always felt that way.

Millions may have died with covid not necessarily OF it. Even when my Mum was in the hospital at end of life they were still trying to swab her daily hunting for covid. If she had tested positive on the day she died it would've have been on her death certificate but she wouldn't have died of it as she was in her last hours anyway