Would you cancel? Important family event including many over 80s. Host has woken up with Covid

[loveyouradvice]

Just that really - my partner, the host, has Covid.

We have 30 people coming to our house for an important family event today. All cooking and prep done. My partner central to it - big speech planned etc. (Not a birthday)

I am so out of the loop on how people are around Covid now

Two options
YABU - My partner - the host - isolates self having finished final prep
YANBU - Postpone event until Sept. Not worth risking over 80s getting Covid. Host is integral to event. Everyone more relaxed and just a shame this is how it is

Postpone. People might feel obliged to come or presume they won’t catch it due to being vaccinated which isn’t necessarily the case. Covid can present different in elderly people and can make them really poorly. My gran had it last year despite being vaccinated- no cough or sore throat but was delirious and couldn’t get out of bed. We didn’t even realise it was covid for a couple of days because she had none of the classic symptoms. She didn’t take in as many fluids as normal and then ended up with a uti which made her even more confused and delirious. My grandad had it in 2021 and sadly passed away from it. I would definitely postpone.

Not dying from it, but some people with long Covid feel they may as well be.

In my experience it isn’t bravado though, I don’t know how socially active the 80 year olds on OPs invite list are obvs, but many I spoke to during covid were suicidal due to the isolation and would have gladly taken their chances with the virus, but that choice was taken away from them.

If I told any of them today that I was cancelling a party they had been looking forward to in order to keep them safe from covid, they’d tell me where to get off!!

I agree,postpone.

For every 80 year old who genuinely doesn't mind, there is one who is saying they don't mind when really they are a bit nervous, because they feel social pressure.

As a host it's irresponsible to allow those people to feel obliged to attend an event where they might become very unwell in a potentially life threatening way.

And even for those who are happy to attend - as a host, I would not be happy to have it on my conscience if they become very ill.

Is the test in date? Worth checking before you make your final decision as they do degrade so could be a false positive,

Btw I will also say, if you are proposing to invite 30 people there will probably never be a time for the foreseeable future that one of them would not test positive for COVID if you swabbed them all. A different person would test positive in September, that is all. And since you wouldn't be swabbing them you wouldn't know who, whereas today you do.

People ARE dying from it,people are still getting very ill from it even with booster jabs,the same as flu.

Postpone.

I agree it is a risk.

This is why OP I suggest postponing the main event to September, but still having a low key event today for those who still want to come. Easy for those who wish to stay safe to say they’ll wait till September.

Not determined to go ahead at all... that's why YANBU was default...Genuinely not sure and feel so out of loop on Covid

I've taken test and we are making decision shortly

We will certainly tell everyone - have told two already, one not coming (long distance), other keen to....

We wouldn’t test. But we would also say x has a cold/.cough/sore throat and people can decide whether they want to come or not. Though in our extended family we know everyone would be honest and there would be no guilt/obligation to come or not.

We would go ahead and the infected person would keep their distance, dispose of tissues properly, not sneeze on people etc. As we have always done with all illnesses.

I wouldn't go to a party where the host had just come down with something infectious. He, and you, will be at your most infectious in this stage as well. Cancel.

I don't really see the point of testing if you then ignore it

I would treat covid the same as if it were flu or noro or any other mildly serious virus. Tell the guests your ill and will need to postpone. It happens. If they still want to see each other they can meet at someone elses house, as normally happens if a host has to cancel due to ill health. You aren't responsible for the social life of all these people, but you would be responsible if you made everyone ill

If he's fine i would just let everyone know and go with the consensus

I'd postpone personally, and do still test if I'm unwell so that I can make different decisions /let people know.

We had another isolated Christmas last year because we were positive, which was incredibly depressing.

But I've seen the devastating, life-changing outcome on an elderly, vulnerable relative who caught it last year despite being vaccinated. Her (older) husband was fine and has recovered well. It's a gamble, and not one I'm willing to take.

But I do see it as a personal choice I'm making - and don't judge people who make a different choice themselves.

So long as they tell people so they can make their own choices. If you do go ahead, please tell your guests in enough time that they can choose not to come.

I would cancel unless you can have someone else host.

Ie you and husband stay away. Someone else gets food out and hosts (ie mil). Or she hosts at her house if at all suitable.

This ensures food doesn't go to waste and the event happens (as at 80 who knows if it will all be okay in September too for everyone)

The mistake here was testing

I would postpone. I have heard so many stories of people giving relatives covid and them then dying. It’s not worth the risk, however small it is.

I would cancel. If oldies coming.

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I would obviously postpone - I would hate to pass any illness onto my 80 year old relatives or anyone else. It's grim feeling poorly.

My nan is 86 and would say she would attend anyway as she still thinks she can fight anything - we know differently, so i would take the decision to protect her.

Your DH may not feel ill but the person he passes it to may.

I don't really see the point of testing if you then ignore it

I would treat covid the same as if it were flu or noro or any other mildly serious virus. Tell the guests your ill and will need to postpone. It happens. If they still want to see each other they can meet at someone elses house, as normally happens if a host has to cancel due to ill health. You aren't responsible for the social life of all these people, but you would be responsible if you made everyone ill
this^^

Cancel. I had COVID twice, first time was off for two months, second time was over Christmas and was off a month. There's no guarantee people won't just be "poorly for a couple of days". I've had vaccines and boosters as am a health worker

Covid is just another variant of the flu virus. There is no need for ongoing hysteria about it.

I would let people know and give them the choice.