I work in finance, I love my job but I think as an industry it can be extremely toxic, especially for women.
One of the younger women on our team is 23, if life is a lottery she had almost all the numbers. She is extremely beautiful (modelled her way through uni), tall, slim, natural tan and natural blonde hair. She is from a well off family, well educated, intelligent, talented, athletic and above all else a lovely kind person. Now I get it, it's hard not to be jealous of her at times as on the surface she has it all.
We are all also aware though that she is often subjected to male clients being flirtatious or even just sexually harassing her. If they bring enough money to the firm though there is little she can do. We also know she lost a parent as a child which I think single handedly scores out all the wins she has had in life.
Now tonight I went for drinks after work with some people, she works from home on Fridays so wasn't there. The conversation turned to being about her. And honestly the men were lovely about her but the women were like vultures, she's a nepo baby (this isn't really true at all, one of the seniors knows her dad and she did intern with us while doing her masters however - she applied the same way as everyone else and until the interview the applications are done blind (name/dob etc. removed). I sat in on her interview and she smashed it tbh.
She's a gold-digger (her new boyfriend makes more and is a bit older but nothing crazy), one of them said "I don't feel bad that the clients sexualise her, what else can you expect when you look like her" another said "I find her infuriating, I hate how easy her life is" (excuse me - she lost a parent as a child how is that easy!).
Several of the guys defended her saying she's lovely and hard working, but the women kept going find faults (her legs are too skinny, her instagram is icky, she's fake, she's this, she's that).
Now while this is bullying - 2 people from HR were there and part of it and the chief investment officer was there and said nothing.
So while I will report it, I know very little will come from it especially as it happened outside work.
However I'm thinking, this woman is talented, hardworking, smart etc. She could probably get a comparable job elsewhere if she wanted and maybe if I tell her how toxic and vile people are being it will encourage her to do so.
I did say to a few of them that I get it, it seems unfair for one person to be stunning, sporty, smart, talented, kind and hardworking and it feels like no one should get it all but she doesn't deserve the be bullied which is exactly what they were doing. They all just brushed me off and joked that when your gods favourite what does it matter what they say when she's not around.
Now I'm not sure what to do - do I tell her? Just report? I'm worried if I tell her it will be hurtful but equally I think she deserves to know so she can get out.
So AIBU for wanting to tell this colleague how horrible people are being?