Feeling guilty and anxious that I don’t have savings pots for my children

[Boohoo123456]

I feel I’ve failed my kids as I don’t have the means to save much for their financial future.

everyone around me has multiple accounts.

i have a small saving account which I try and stash some in for my eldest and then will do same for my youngest… but it’s also an emergency / holiday account so dip in and out of it.

We just don’t Have the means to squirrel away large amounts of money.

we do however own our own property worth 400k. This is all we have… but for a family of four (two house deposits and two pensions) is not really enough.

i feel like a shit parent.

i feel like nothing I can do is enough.

if I work I’m neglecting their emotional needs and if I don’t work then all our future is fucked.

AIBU?

You won't be neglecting their emotional needs if you work.Most of us work. That's how we have savings.

My mum never saved anything for me. She didn't have the means. But she helped me get the skills to get myself into a good job where I now have my own savings, and that makes her a damn good parent in my books.

I currently have a newborn baby so unable to work and I am not a high earner when i do / did…

Set up separate savings accounts for them now. Check out accounts with good interest rates and transfer a DD amount you can afford each month.

Even £2.50 a week will add up to something when they are 18. Don’t underestimate small savings on a regular basis. It could be enough to pay for something they really need later on, like driving lessons or a laptop for uni.

Is it best to do a Sep saving account for both of them together and then divide it fairly ? I will obviously a lot longer to save for my youngest as they are still a baby, so shall I focus on one and then the other?

I put my child benefit into a stocks and shares Isa for my little one. I'm a low earner and will never see big bucks now as too old in the game. But I put aside her CB and once. Year am putting in a lump sum. Short term will be nothing but the idea is long term will be something

I work in savings for a living. I'd suggest opening a savings account for each child and set up a regular standing order straight after pay day. Even £5-£10 per month will add up and you won't notice the money leaving your account.

Think about birthdays/Christmas too. Spend less on gifts and put money in their savings account too.

Most of my friends whose parents saved money for them then just wasted it on hobbies or random spending sprees anyway. It can be healthier for a young adult to earn and save for themselves and with love, stability plus a home they can always return to if things go wrong in life, they'll want fir nothing.

Don't feel guilty, most people don't have spare either..ignore mn as it's not real life, so many people on here claim to be mega rich it's not unusual at all for people to have no handouts or savings as young adults. My parents couldn't save anything for me, it wasn't down to how hard they worked, a roof over our heads and food on the table is still a lot. It made me resilient and valued money in a way that better off kids don't always have. Love is worth far more than a large savings account

Should I do one each? Three a significant age gap between my children so feel it might be fair to set one for my eldest first and then another for my other when he is same age…

or I could do a joint account and give them what they beed accordingly?

Can they live with you rent-free after finishing school/university, and when they have found work? Or do they have to move out right away? Living at home, and saving earnings, is the best way to save large chunks of money for a house deposit.

Working isn’t neglecting their emotional needs. Working is how we get savings for our DC. Young children don’t need lots of fancy things like holidays abroad, lots of presents, expensive days out if you don’t have the money for that as well as saving for their future. A cheap holiday camping in the UK, a trip to the beach or local nature reserve or park are cheap and fun. Saving is becoming more and more essential though with the cost of houses and living going up, so I would prioritise that.

They can but I’d be worried they would be missing out on the freedom and experience of their early twenties which is so important for development

Set up a jisa for them both. You can't touch it unless they get a life limiting illness. Put £1 a week in

It is but most people can't afford it these days rents are too high

What is the age difference?
Personally i would set up 1 account each. Same amount in each month (even if small).
Save for the same amount of time. Then see where you all are.

So for an 8 year difference you could start now and stop for both of them in 10 years time when eldest is 18.

Or just reassess what you can do.

Definitely agree with PP to spend less on birthdays/Christmas and put into savings. For example its easy to waste 5-20 pounds on pointless stocking fillers....

Also as they get older they like having money instead of presents. So you could give X amount to use and Y amount in their savings.

I'd start one now (how much older is your eldest) you could match them for now then keep paying your eldest the same amount until your youngest is 18 or whatever date you choose

But this will mean that they have access from 18 and could potentially blow it. ?

So one each or a joint one?

should I do an RBS first saver ?

This is excellent advice.

So how much do you save each month?

400k house is a pretty decent asset and more than many have. If you want to give your children something you could downsize and give them the profit when youngest is ready to leave home.* *

I would do one each, but they don't have to both be started at the same time. You could start one for the older one first and let it build up a little first. In a year or two set one up for the youngest, and if you can't afford extra, split the same amount between them. It nay not end up as much as dome others have saved up for them, but it will be more than others.

Not saying it will give them a house deposit (if they even want to buy), but it could enable them to buy new clothes for an interview, buy a laptop for study, have driving lessons, buy a first car, pay for car insurance etc, which could increase job opportunities (to ones that include driving or are not viable on putlbluc transport).

Do you think £150 a month first for my eldest and then once my youngest reaches his age is enough? (He is ten)