Feeling guilty and anxious that I don’t have savings pots for my children

[Boohoo123456]

I feel I’ve failed my kids as I don’t have the means to save much for their financial future.

everyone around me has multiple accounts.

i have a small saving account which I try and stash some in for my eldest and then will do same for my youngest… but it’s also an emergency / holiday account so dip in and out of it.

We just don’t Have the means to squirrel away large amounts of money.

we do however own our own property worth 400k. This is all we have… but for a family of four (two house deposits and two pensions) is not really enough.

i feel like a shit parent.

i feel like nothing I can do is enough.

if I work I’m neglecting their emotional needs and if I don’t work then all our future is fucked.

AIBU?

Loads of people haven’t got a pot to piss in let alone a 400k house or any savings or pension. Just do the best you can. Your kids will be ok.

We save into different pots for our DC, £100 into my savings pot I set up for DC in my name, and £50 into each of their own savings accounts. I’m on maternity leave at the moment so it’s less than when I’m working, we’ll up it again when I return to work (used to be £100 into each of their saving accounts). We also save into our own pots too and some of that will go to DC as and when they need big things later on.

Yes it does but at the moment if you can access it you'll be too tempted to spend it

It’s a decent amount, if you save that amount until your oldest is 20 he’ll have £18k which is great.

Do not set up accounts in the children's names. At eighteen they will have access but not necessarily sense. Drugs and other temptations may waste your hard saved money. Keep it in your name till you see they are financially prudent.

I don't know anyone whose parents saved for them. I certainly didn't get any lump sum from my parents. They did however support me to get a degree and I guess generally skill me up for life. I really feel that's all you owe your kids. It's up to them to save for a house deposit etc. if you have the spare cash obviously it's nice if you can help them but what would be the point in making things harder financially for the family now to help out the adult versions of them later.

God almighty, life is hard enough without beating yourself up about stuff like this

Its quite a middle class privileged thing to be able to have a pot/savings of any substance for kids. I never had this, my parents were working class, not particularly well off, house worth a bit but didnt have any cash as such

I had saturday jobs, evening jobs, paperrounds from quite a young age and Ive always had quite a number of jobs. I like nice things and I wanted to be in control of my own income. I didnt have a gap year or anything of that stuff, I worked throughout university, many, several jobs at a time.

The best thing you can do for your kids is give them skills and education, experiences and the ability to network. Also promote them to have good health and good teeth (im not joking about that one)

Do not sacrifice your day to day now by scrimping and saving to have a 'pot' for them, they're young, they will have the energy and enthuisasm to make their way in the world if you promote that.

I have not got any lump sum or a house deposit or anything from my parents. They did put me through my education. And gave me a lot of love. That was enough, and I don't hold it against them. I made my own money.
Times have changed certainly, but I don't think you should worry quite so much.

Can I put it in a First Saver and then withdraw before they turn 18 ? As the interest is high on those

If you can, save a bit each month in your name, and then you can use it for the kids as and when they need it.

I wouldn’t worry too much, you have a newborn so 18 years to save. Your financial situation will likely change as baby grows. If you can put away 10 pounds a month for each child in a JISA and then when your financial situation gets better increase the amounts.

Defiantly set up savings accounts for your kids, kids accounts tend to get better interest rates, especially ones that are not instant access. I have an automatic transfer £10 every week to my dc and along with adding any birthday money etc and interest it's surprising how it adds up

I've got pots for each child. Not in their name though. They can open a bank account when they are 13 and get their bday money etc put in it. I put aside £50 each per month. Oldest has more as I started when they were all babies. I imagine I will just even it up when they are 18 if they are uneven. So if you have £150 to spare I'd suggest £100 for eldest and £50 for baby and see how you go.

Hi OP!
If it's any consolation, I don't know anyone who was given money from their parents (I'm early 40s), myself included, and we'd have never expected it! I managed to save for a house deposit by living at home rent free until I was 30!
My plan at the moment is to save CB money, but I'm putting into a separate savings account in my name. I'm reluctant to put it in my DCs name in case I ever need it in the future. Hopefully I won't and the plan will be to put it towards uni, car, driving lessons etc.

I put £20 a month in a Leeds kids saver. Just setup a SO. Bearing in mind interest rates have been so low, they'll still all get around £5k each at 18.

Just do what you can - ultimately a roof over their head and food on the table now has to be the priority so don't beat yourself up. Your circumstances may change down the line and you can do something different in time.

I’d be worried they would be missing out on the freedom and experience of their early twenties which is so important for development
This is a really odd way to be thinking, I personally don't know anyone who is giving their DC a house deposit to allow freedom.
Many many people come out uni or school and into work.
Also I notice you ask is £150pm enough to save so you must be planning to do that, which will mount up.
Nobody is entitled to their parents savings.

Can I ask why you feel you should be saving up for your children?

As parents we (obviously!) provide for our children when they're young, and throughout their teenage years.
If they go to university, we help them financially where we can.
If they need to stay at home whilst saving for a deposit for their first home, we help them financially by allowing them to live there rent-free / at a much-less-than-market-rent (and often return that money that they have saved to help with a deposit etc)
When we die, there is often an inheritance to pass to them in the form of property etc
Why do we ALSO need to provide a savings pot for them?

Our job as parents is to teach them to become independent so they can provide for themselves ............... not to provide for them financially throughout their lives.

We all want to give our children the best start in life, but does that always just boil down to money??

I think that is a great amount. We do no where near that amount.

Money goes in to an account from my parents, and we add to it as and when. It is still building up.

If the eldest is 10, you could pay into an account for 8 years until they are 18, then start an account for the youngest. Maybe split the amount for a while until the oldest is 20, turn they will both have 8 years at the full amount, and 2 years at a split amount.

Have you considered a side income? Usually what I make on Vinted/online surveys/cash back etc I put straight into their savings. It's not money I've accounted for in budgeting so because it's spare I squirrel it away for them. It's not a lot but adds up over time added to other money.

Mine will never have enough for a mortgage deposit but should be enough for a rental deposit or driving lessons.

As other have mentioned, start off by saving small amount. It'll soon add up.

I have two saving accounts, one investment isa and other regular saver. There is about £8kish in them but I stopped paying in because I think inflation is eating the money away. So these accounts will remain frozen until kids are adults. I will instead invest in properties on their behalf - and aim to gift a mortgage free property to each child - whether or not I can achieve that remains to be seen...but I'll atleast try!

I couldn't afford to save for mine when they were little, we concentrated on happy and healthy. When they were more independent financially I put the max into their lifetime ISAs starting with the eldest. He decided to buy a house at 23 with his now wife. I had put £12000 away at that point and with gov top up that was £15000, if he'd waited he'd have had more. Now doing the same for the youngest and will keep putting in while he lives at home. Do what you can afford and don't feel that you always have to do it. Just enjoy your lovely family

Are these the ones that they can acccess when they are 18 ?

I’ve just set up a first saver - do they then have access to it at 18 or can you withdraw the money back to your account and give it them as you see fit? That’s the only thing that worries me with kids savers xx

Great plan !!

Great idea!!