Feeling guilty and anxious that I don’t have savings pots for my children

[Boohoo123456]

I feel I’ve failed my kids as I don’t have the means to save much for their financial future.

everyone around me has multiple accounts.

i have a small saving account which I try and stash some in for my eldest and then will do same for my youngest… but it’s also an emergency / holiday account so dip in and out of it.

We just don’t Have the means to squirrel away large amounts of money.

we do however own our own property worth 400k. This is all we have… but for a family of four (two house deposits and two pensions) is not really enough.

i feel like a shit parent.

i feel like nothing I can do is enough.

if I work I’m neglecting their emotional needs and if I don’t work then all our future is fucked.

AIBU?

If they live at home, rent-free, for even 2-3 years after school/university, and are sensible and serious about saving, they can quickly and easily accumulate a large chunk of money even in an entry level graduate job—they can use this for a flat/house/rental deposit. I think that’s a good trade-off for any “freedom” and “experience” that you perceive they might miss in their early twenties that is “important for development.”

Watching

Do you have savings?

I’m sorry but this thread seems off too me. You have a 400k asset (by which I assume no mortgage) and you are feeling like a terrible mother who’s not done enough for her children?? You do realise there are people in rented houses who also can’t save for their kids either and some who can barely manage the basics? I think you need to look more at what you have achieved Op, you’re doing well!

Watching as I have saved £4k each for my kids so far, 13yrs and 11yrs in a junior ISA and would ideally like to get both accounts to £5k then will stop adding to the accounts and looks to diversify the savings

I am hoping that the compound interest that the accounts will gain will continue to grow the funds in the accounts with no further input from me.

If I can reach the extra £2k account for both accounts by the end of the year then I will work on my own ISA

We own our mortgaged home which I am also trying to overpay on which is not easy at all

Main breadwinner on around £3.5k pm and also doing ad hoc extra work to try to save

We brought our home around 5yrs ago, it wasn't easy saving for a deposit whilst renting with two kids so want to ideally make it easier for my children as housing is unlikely to get any cheaper in the future

I am hoping that the money saved in the kids ISA's will help a bit with uni items eg laptop, bits for their rooms at uni or driving lessons and insurance when the time comes, whilst I will encourage them to stay at home to work after uni to save for their own deposits

I just pray that the kids take my advice on what to do with the savings which I hope they will add to. We are already speaking to them at this age regarding compound interest, debt and renting vs owning in the hope that they can avoid some of the financial mistakes that we made

As others have said, I was incredibly driven as I was really given nothing by my parents. A small handful of gifts at Xmas and b'day (nothing like what kids get today) and a small monthly allowance which I had to buy everything, and I mean everything out of from the age of around 12. I soon learnt that if I wanted anything in life I had to go out and get it. Me, I'd have to work for it. So I achieved a lot and became determined.

I'd try to instil those qualities in your kids and teach them lots of practical skills, like cooking, household chores, money management, how to sell online (eBay and vinted) and at car boots as this really installs a go-getting entrepreneurial mindset, homework and revision etc etc

Having said that, my dad did give me 10 driving lessons for my 17th birthday and money for the tests. He took me out in his car and had the patience to teach me. That was one of the best things he did for me. I passed at age 17 and he named me as a driver on his car until I got a banger. Driving opened up opportunities.

My parents were also able to take me abroad a few times in my teens and made sure to explore wherever we were. These are memories that live with me daily - opening your eyes to the wider world and new possibilites.

If you feel you can save when you go back to work, search up how to make your kid a millionaire' on Instagram or YouTube and you'll see it's actually pretty easy if you invest £100 p/m in a stocks and shares index fund for them from a young age.

I think more than saving for your kids is to teach them how money works. That it's not always a good idea to spend every penny you have on sweets but to save some so that when something comes up that you REALLY want you can afford it.

People used to think our eldest was odd because we could take her round ToysR Us with her birthday money and she would spend time looking at everything then decide there was nothing she really wanted enough so could we bank her £20. She's always been like that, refuses to waste money (doesn't drink /smoke/fritter money away), takes extra well paid work outside of the day job and saves it, and buys only a few quality made clothes so they last and saves the rest - at 25 has a healthy house deposit saved up. Can almost afford south-east prices now.
Yet she has a friend same age who has a large overdraft and credit card bills of magnitude. Worrying magnitude!