To wonder what’s the point when I’m left with this after bills?

[ReLOa]

In a stressful job and single parent to nursery age child. I have 570 left after all bills and childcare and petrol, excluding food. What is the actual point in this?! We can’t do much at weekends and holidays are out of the question. I’m supposedly in a highly paid job (earn 70k) and I feel like giving up. Just been paid and looking ahead at the month I’ve already had to turn down some things like an adventure park day with friends as it was 28 pounds entry and a 35 mile round trip. I feel like I’m failing yet not sure what more I can possibly do?!

The whole point of a tax system is to pay for defense, law & order and public services such as education and roads.

It's been hijacked by those people that always vote for a bigger chunk of other people's earnings.

Yeah that’s right. As a high earning woman I kick the boot in to other high earning women. I always turn up to defend other women from the MN vipers who cannot stand successful woman and are vile to them. Nice name change.

Carers put in more than they take out, on the whole.

Mmm. They don’t though. Play a hugely vital role and are very important. However, if we had a nation of carers and no-one working for financial gain. We’d be fucked and broke.

The whole point of a tax system is to redistribute wealth to ensure resources are pooled, spent on things needed for the common good and so that everyone has a sufficient standard of living.

Some carers definitely do, but for a sizeable chunck the system seems to be a big scam involving getting your kids on DLA and your partners on PIP, so you can then claim carer's allowance on top.

We don't (yet) have enough people in need of care to have a nation of carers. However, if we had a nation of people renumerated and rewarded for doing essential work including the caring roles usually seen as undeserving, unpaid, women's work, we'd probably have a much happier and healthier society!

The issue is now - when not enough people are earning and paying in. None of which have anything to do with the op. You can earn a very good salary in this country and feel absolutely fucked. That’s a problem for everyone. Especially those who need the state.

OP has said she earns £70k.
If she's paying 5% into pension and student loan repayment that means:
Pension £3.5k
Income tax £14k
NI £3.3k
Student loan £4. 5k

Net income: £44.7k
Which is £3725 monthly
Add child benefit £110 gives : £3835 monthly
(assume no child maintenance )

Mortgage and nursery £2500
Leaves £1335 to live on

You said you have £570 after bills, so that means you're spending £765 on fixed bills. Can you break that down? It's quite high, and people might be able to suggest ways to reduce it.

Otherwise, it's a matter of holding on. You've done really well to have a house of your own and such a great salary. It will be worth it once you're through the expensive childcare years!

Another nasty, ableist comment so rife on mumsnet.

I disagree.

That's simply the mantra / attempted guilt-trip of those that expect others to provide for them.

Social welfare is a nice thing to have, if the country can afford it, but it certainly isn't the primary purpose of taxation.

In OP's case, there are probably so many factors such as house prices, commuter costs, the concentration of well-paying work in a few, expensive areas, the appalling cost of childcare, lack of support (family, community, political, plus from absent fathers) for single mothers...all adding up to make it very stressful and difficult for OP and others in her position.

While hoping we can do what we can to raise awareness and change these things for the better, all I can suggest for OP right now is to remind herself how well she's doing, find ways to rest and get support if she can, remember it's short term, as childcare costs will go down and things will get easier in time. Any practical changes too, of course, if they're possible, but above all, remember it's only for a few years and then you will have more income left after bills etc..

I see it as the primary purpose. It's supposed to be a general pooling of resources.

I know you can see my posting history. So tell me what constructive advice do you have for the op or did you just post on the thread to personally attack me. Just to clarify.

i agree with @ThisOldThang

This.

Can people stop throwing 70k as if OP really had that money? After childcare costs OP will be left on actual salary closer to someone on 35k not 70k.

Even on 35k, a family with 2 kids like yours will be entitled to UC (even as homeowners), will have no £1700 a month childcare costs. Will be entitled to double tax free allowance and full child benefit. Stay at home mum means there is someone to look after kids when they get sick rather then having to take unpaid time off work etc.
It means family on 35k could easily end up better off then single parent on 70k paying full time childcare costs and not receiving same support as married couple. The system is discriminatory towards single parents.

And OP didn't moan that she's the poorest person in UK so I really don't understand all those post competing to the bottom. What is your point?

Someone who is in top 5% salary in demanding professional job should be better off then posters on lower salaries getting UC on top shouldn't they?

What if OP had two children like you? Do you realise she then would have to quit her job and would be better off working part time and getting benefits then staying in her well paying career with 2 sets of childcare costs?

It's not right.

How exactly do the individuals who find it difficult to live on £70k imagine people on £20k manage?

And this. People can’t support people like the op though. It’s too much to support a successful woman. Nothing constructive - pop on to personally attack people and then waltz off again.

It is short term in the grand scheme of things but it is so hard to see the wood for the trees in this situation. It’s what is forcing so many talented women out of the workplace and it is criminal. It doesn’t happen in other countries.

She doesn't need to pay back half of the child benefit, she's entitled to 80% of it now the rules changed recently. I'm really really hoping she's either all ready doing it or she's been back to read the helpful advice

Yeah and that's all fine and good but OP is expected to pay way more than most into that pool of reasources and take absolutely nothing from it. You think that's fair?

This has opened my eyes massively

It also forces them out of homeownership into renting. Out of full time jobs that pay high taxes into part time roles and dependency on benefits.
It drags women and children down.

We can't afford this. It's short-sighted and costs the country more in a long run.

It's unbelievable how much better off a married man on 70k would be.

I'm not originally from UK and I was always wondering why the system is so stuck against working mothers and especially succesful single parents.

After spending some time on here it became 💯 clear to me that outdated attitudes and tall poppy syndrome is underneath it all.
God forbit a mother who worked her way up into 5% top salary would be better off then on UC top up . There should be no way out for women according to other women. We should stay at the bottom where we belong and people will never vote for anything to change that.

Now that hard working immigrants are gone and rich investors are leaving UK these toxic attitudes will be keeping UK poorer and less productive. Not to mention young women not wanting to have children in this country.

💯

OP, you say you are mortgaged until you are 70. I had to remortgage due to divorce and was then mortgaged until I was 67. As DD has grown up and I have been able to earn more, I work extra hours and pay extra off the mortgage. Now aged 52, I have only got 10 years left, so have managed to knock 5 years off over the past couple of years.

Like I said in my earlier post, it's a long game.