To wonder what’s the point when I’m left with this after bills?

[ReLOa]

In a stressful job and single parent to nursery age child. I have 570 left after all bills and childcare and petrol, excluding food. What is the actual point in this?! We can’t do much at weekends and holidays are out of the question. I’m supposedly in a highly paid job (earn 70k) and I feel like giving up. Just been paid and looking ahead at the month I’ve already had to turn down some things like an adventure park day with friends as it was 28 pounds entry and a 35 mile round trip. I feel like I’m failing yet not sure what more I can possibly do?!

Ironically you are far better off than us and we receive UC too. I am sure OP is just having a little moan.

Depends on the area I guess. It was rolled out in 2018 where I live.

Less than 20% of claimants are still on legacy benefits now when you look at the numbers. It's probably just your specific area where it hasn't started being rolled out yet.

Thank you I appreciate that

@Vettrianofan

Race to the bottom. 70k salary in a stressful job, likely no headspace for doing things like batch cooking and other cost saving strategies that cost bandwidth.

Your husband may also have a stressful job, but lucky you are at home picking up all the wife work.

Why are you economically inactive ? Why aren’t you personally contributing to the tax system ? Does it not pay to work ? Would you be no better off if you had to pay for childcare? Is it better to be subsidised by tax payers ?

What’s the alternative??? Pack your job in and try to scrape by on benefits??

Nursery isn’t forever. I’m at the age where friends are divorcing and the ones who are coming off worse are the women who stalled or left careers to look after kids… keep your job, keep your career, it gets better!

I study part time and also am a carer to my youngest who is classed as disabled.

my mortgage is due to be paid off when I’m 70!

You have a £1600 a month nursery bill which will end long before you're 70.

Use it wisely. Spend half, invest half to overpay your mortgage. You'll take years off.

So you missed out all the top ups you get. You came here just to stick the boot in. Without people like the op - you’d have to work and be a carer. No tax payers funding more than they take out - no welfare.

@Vettrianofan If I remember you receive quite a lot of different benefits which I imagine brings you closer to what OP earns. Not saying you don't deserve it or you shouldn't get it but easy to tell someone to manage better when you don't have travel or childcare to pay for?

OP I know it feels like a slog now but do keep going. I know how hard it is. You're absolutely at the hardest point with taxes, no child benefit and doing everything yourself. Years and years with no one to even make you a cup of tea.

In 5 years you will look back, a big chunk of your mortgage will have been paid, your pension pot will be growing, your child will be a bit older and you will be able to breathe a little.

But if you worked you would be contributing to the tax system. You could pay someone to look after your disabled son, then you would be providing another tax payer with employment, while also contributing yourself.

Are you paying tuition?

This. I would hazard a guess that with UC and disability benefits - on top of the husband’s wage - pp isn’t so far off what 75k is as take home. Without childcare, commuting and being alone in managing that burden.

Not that the poster isn’t deserving but a non-working parent of 4 , who is heavily reliant on tax payers like the op, who has someone sharing the load; coming on just to stick the boot in - has a massive cheek.

That is partly why I think there is a higher earners vs others on MN. People like the op will have significant challenges. Like the single mum who was suicidal after hitting the 100k cliff edge. She lost tens of thousands over night. Literally for earning £1 over 99k. People were queuing up to stick the boot in when she was suicidal and was going to have to sell her home.

There are significant points in the tax system where you are worse off for working more. Op should be out of one of those now - thanks to the CHB threshold rise. It is hard to think long term when things are so tight in what should be a good salary.

It is always the same people queuing up to kick the boot in. I don’t get it.

@ReLOa - it’s always difficult when they are at nursery (more so if you have only one wage). Unless you earn hundreds of thousands the additional cost of childcare is naturally going to be very noticeable. Also really feel for people with young kids currently as everything has risen significantly in cost in past couple of years. Even the best planning of finances ahead of having kids wouldn’t have had you anticipating all those rises at once.

We were easily keeping to a budget of £60 a week for food in 2021 and currently having to take more care on one of £100 a week. It’s definitely challenging for everyone now vs then.

Rubbish though it is now it will be worth sticking it out. In a few years you will no longer have anything like those childcare costs so your disposable income will massively increase. Our wraparound/kids clubs/school trips/holiday childcare averages to about £280/month for each of our kids (they do 4 paid clubs a week in term time, 7-8 weeks in holiday clubs & have a trip away each most years with school or one of their clubs). It might be more where you are but it will be a lot less than £1,600. Also you’ll likely see your salary increase while your mortgage hopefully stays a similar cost, which will help immensely.

For now you could claim Child Benefit for this Tax year and pay back half with your tax return that would give you an extra £50 a month & you’ll have to look at if you can make any savings in all your regular spending to help until the nursery years are done.

Go through all your direct debits and see if anything you could cancel/downgrade options to save money and call and ask internet/mobile provider for a better deal if not on a fixed term or shop around and switch. We’ve recently done our annual review and I got Virgin to switch us to a £20 deal they had for new customers for broadband, moved OH to a new mobile provider, switched packages for Disney+ & cancelled Netflix/Kindle subscriptions. It’s saving us £55/month vs prior year. Most years I find there is something worth tweaking.

Beyond that, rubbish though it is, you just have to accept these are very expensive years and you won’t be able to do as much but keep in mind it’s temporary and that it’s worth keeping going because once those costs are gone you’ll feel the benefit of your salary again.

They're also the same people that seem to be claiming every benefit under the sun for every member of the family.

Well. Quite. It is the shock at commuting costs too, 1k a month is fairly average. Train fares are shocking. Well paid jobs don’t turn up on your doorstep. Why comment of you don’t understand? I seriously don’t understand. There must be some form of gratification they get - kicking a successful woman when she feels down. It’s honestly just awful. Reflects badly on them tbh. Lifting women up should be what’s happening because we still have it pretty shitty in the male dominated workplace.

My tuition fees are funded so I don't pay to study part time. Takes six years to study my degree part time, as I cannot do it full time around caring responsibilities.

Funded by whom @Vettrianofan ?

The funding body for my home country in the UK. Why does it matter?

Easy to cut your cloth on someone else’s money isn’t it? It think that’s the point. Came in to stick the boot into op. Nothing constructive at all

And you are having a go at those bullying others due to difficult financial circumstances?! What are you currently doing because I mentioned that I study part time?!

I am hardly living the high life!🤔

The whole point of a tax system is helping those who are less fortunate.

Op is struggling. You came on to kick the boot in - nothing constructive at all. Yet probably clear the equivalent take home pay with two adults and happily relying on the state whilst telling others to cut their cloth.

I am glad other posters are calling your behaviour out and similar. This needs to stop on MN.

That's absurd. Carers save the state/taxpayers/nhs vast sums of money and, anyway, the amount you'd need to earn in order to pay another person's living wage on top would be phenomenal.

Oh hello pot, have you met kettle?

@Tunefultwix

She would just have to cut her cloth - as she so unhelpfully told OP.