To take my child to an ivf appointment

[Itsgivingmehvibes]

It took nine years, lots of heartache and treatments to conceive Dd, 5 years ago. We now have an appointment to try with our remaining frozen embryo. I haven’t been to the clinic for almost 6 years. We have to go as a couple for the first appointment at least and have no one to sit Dd for that amount of time (we live abroad, no parents here, the clinic is an almost 3 hour drive etc) so Dd has to come with us.
I vividly remember feeling quite upset the one time I saw another child in the waiting room at the clinic, in all the other times I’d never seen another couples baby/child with them. I remember thinking it was insensitive of them to bring a baby/child there, when the majority of people there were struggling to conceive one child. It seems unfair and quite ridiculous of me to think that now, but I was obviously in a v sad place as many are. I want to be mindful of others, should I organise for Dd not to come somehow? Also, what should we say to Dd (if anything) about the clinic? I mean she was conceived there! We’ve never spoken about this or made a big deal and will just say to her she was conceived via ivf when she’s older.

I am. Thanks :)

The only people who can tell you are the receptionist/ dr at the clinic so give them a call and see what they say.

I am puzzled that in all the years you have been in this country you haven’t made a friend who can take your child for an appointment? Not a school mum friend or neighbour or anything?

That is shocking. Absolutely shocking.

Could you leave her with a friend OP? I know you e said you live abroad but please try reach out and build a network - for your own general well-being not just this appointment

@Stopsnowing Ive made lots of friends and two close neighbours I’d trust with her, but people all work and because it’s 2.5 hours drive away, it’s a long day, it’s not just popping down the road for an hour or so unfortunately

I noticed a few responses here have mentioned feeling 'hopeful' and 'optimistic' when seeing children/babies in clinics. However, those posters seem to have gone on to have a child/children .
Perhaps that impacts the memory somewhat.
As someone who will never be able to have a child via IVF or any other route, I only remember feeling incredibly sad and anxious seeing happy couples/children/images of children as I waited (feeling very, very alone) for my appointments.
I appreciate that circumstances can be awkward but please, Op, think of any way possible to attend your appointment without your child. It's hard enough going through every day life and seeing what you can't have. I really think these clinics need to be a bit of a safe place for those of us who will never be able to give birth.

Can uou pay for childcare - temp nanny - I did this for years

Or a day at a xm or mute eye setting

As I said the two clinics I used had notices on walls saying no children

And quite understandable

But yes clinics do like knowing the outcome and each year on mini blondes birthday I do email and send a pic saying thanks and they reply

The first birthday they did a huge reply saying so lovely to see a pic of her

They always reply

It's only on MN that no one cares about anything but themselves and their tiny isolated world

You sound nice. Screw everyone else, as long as you get to show off your child at the expense of everyone else's feelings. You even admit no IVF experience.

Ffs mute eye setting

Is nursery setting

Can't edit as on app

I would love to know how many people have actual IVF experience on this thread. Plus it’s a very different experience if IVF works for you, for lots of people turn it never does

Please, for the love of god, don’t take your child. Please.

You’ve been where those women are. Not all of them will be lucky enough to be where you are.

I remember leaving the clinic after my first egg collection to see the lady next to me being greeted by her toddler. It did sting but you can’t avoid children completely.

We’re second time IVF’ers now and I’ve left my DD at home for the longest time we’ve ever been apart for the appointments so far. Can’t guarantee I’ll have childcare available for every appointment so this is a dilemma I can see myself facing imminently.

If ever there’s a place to be safe from kids, surely it’s during fertility treatment at the clinic?

Well judging by my experience, clearly not. It’s just come back to me that when I was at my clinic this week there was a preschooler in the waiting area. This is a different clinic to my first experience too.